You Have Me (1/1)

Momo is at the gym and tired. Not physically, but emotionally, which is making her ten times more drained than if she did a hundred push-ups. She can't focus on anything at all, her mind filled with constant overthinking, thoughts laced with nagging distress. She can't rest either because that would make her thoughts rage even more.She can barely keep up with the girls anymore, the choreography getting tangled and blurred in her vision. She can't even properly listen without zoning out whenever the trainer points out her mistakes. The words get tangled in her mind and she isn't able to filter them, so she has pretty much given up completely. She decided to listen to her feelings and not pretend like everything is fine. Because she is not fine and she will respect that for once.After about an hour of working out, she quickly packs her things and leaves the building. The day is cloudy, her favorite type of weather, but also the perfect one to make her even sadder. She takes a deep breath and starts walking towards her apartment, hoping that Dahyun is out and about so she can be alone and collect her thoughts for a little while. On the way, she visits a convenience store and buys some ice cream as a treat for herself. Maybe it will help the healing process.She arrives at her place to be met with dead silence, not even the sound of the fridge reaching the front door. She lets her bag fall to the floor and takes off her shoes and coat to leave them beside the door. Then, she goes to the kitchen first to grab a spoon before entering the living room. She sits down on the couch, ice cream in one hand and the spoon in the other.She starts crying. She doesn't remember the last time she had cried so easily, tears forming by themselves in her eyes and sliding down without having to blink. Her eyes are already burning and she can feel her chest aching and tightening as her insecurities engulf her. Momo is a strong person even though she might not seem like it. She actually has a strong mindset and barely gets down because of anything, but then again, she is only human. All she wants is to disappear and return when her problems are solved.Would people miss her if she suddenly disappeared? Or would it not make a difference at all since everyone always leaves her anyway? She sobs, not being able to enjoy her favorite ice cream at that point, only letting her feelings fall out of her eyes.After a few minutes of her cry filling the room, or the whole apartment even, they quiet down. But the tears never stop, unapologetically gliding down her cheeks. She puts the ice cream and spoon down on the table with a thud before curling up on the couch. Her eyes are fixated on the window, silently watching birds fly across once in a while.Eventually, the sound of the door breaks the silence. Momo doesn't notice, stuck in her own world until Dahyun steps into the room and gasps."Honey, what's happening?" Dahyun asks in panic as she lets her bag to fall to the floor and hurries over to Momo."Nothing, I'm just tired," Momo mumbles, not looking at Dahyun yet."You're lying. I can see the tears," Dahyun says in a serious tone, almost reaching for Momo's face."It's nothing, really." Momo looks down at her hands and her voice is tiny, barely above a whisper."It can't be nothing if it made you cry," Dahyun insists as she sits on the empty space beside Momo."It's nothing if it's always the same thing. It's been going on for weeks now," Momo replies with a sigh. She can feel her eyes burn from how much she cried, but she couldn't care less."Well, it's still something. But I won't pressure you to talk. Just know that I'm here for you. I will always be." Dahyun reaches to hold Momo's hand and that makes Momo lift her eyes to finally look at her.It completely crushes Dahyun's heart when she meets Momo's teary eyes. Oh how it hurts her to see the person she loves in such pain and not being able to do anything."Thank you, sweetness. I'm so grateful for you, really. It's just tiring to feel the same way over and over again," Momo says with a small smile, not quite reaching her face."How are you feeling?" Dahyun asks quietly.Now, looking at Dahyun's eyes, Momo can't hold it back anymore. Her eyes are filled with tears again and she takes a shaky breath before speaking."Bad, replaceable, not enough, and everything else related to those," she mutters, feeling her voice tremble as she struggles not to break down."Do you want to talk about it?" Dahyun scoots closer to her and brings Momo's hands to her own lap, drawing circles on the back of them to help Momo calm down. Momo loves holding hands."I'm tired of having no friends. Even if it's someone I'm not that close with, they always ghost me. What do I have to do to make people stay? It's been like this for years now, so it must be something, right? It can't be normal and—"Momo gasps for air, a sob wracking through her body as she isn't able to hold it in anymore. It makes Dahyun's heart shatter inside her chest, enough to make her surge forward and wrap her arms around Momo, hugging her tightly to her chest. She shushes the girl and rocks them back and forth to calm her down, holding her close as she cries in her arms. Momo also reaches for Dahyun, grabbing tightly onto her shirt."Stop that right now," Dahyun whispers, leaving a kiss on top of Momo's head."What?""Saying it's your fault when it's actually not," Dahyun mumbles, caressing her hair. "The people are treating you badly, it's not your fault."But–" Momo tries to intervene, only making Dahyun lean back to look into her eyes."No. It's not your fault that people can't hold a friendship. You shouldn't have to question yourself because the problem is clearly not you. It's just something that comes with being an idol. Most of them just decide to be friends with you in order to show it off to others.""I know that, but I still feel like I'm not enough. I don't fulfill what these people look for in a friendship and that's why they just don't want me. I'm always begging for the bare minimum and when I do get it, it never feels genuine. It's like I have to literally change myself to be treated right." Momo's eyes are shining with tears."Honey, what's more important to you? To be liked by others or to be yourself?" Dahyun asks."If I'm gonna end up alone by being myself, I would rather be liked by others," Momo sincerely replies, pouting at her own words."Stupid," Dahyun shakes her head, earning a little sad giggle from Momo. "You know you won't be alone. You have me, you will always have me.""Baby..." Momo frowns, putting her hands on top of Dahyun's."You know I really mean it. It makes me so sad to see you like this. I'd do anything to make it go away and not see you sad and hurt ever again. I just want to see you happy," Dahyun says, wiping the tear sliding down Momo's cheek. "We all have our own burdens of insecurities to deal with and it gets a lot sometimes, I know. But we have each other.""I know that, baby. You make me happy," Momo confesses, feeling her heart beat faster at Dahyun's sweet words."But those people do the opposite," Dahyun says quietly, her gaze falling down and her eyes dropping a bit."And are any of those people in the room with us right now?""No," Dahyun rolls her eyes at Momo's bad attempt at a joke."Then, let's forget about them right now. Isn't that what you want me to do anyway? You make me happy and that's what matters," Momo says with a chuckle. She puts a strand of Dahyun's hair behind her ear, her eyes following the movement as Dahyun still looks at her."Please, talk to me whenever you're feeling sad," Dahyun pleads as she holds Momo's hand tighter."But it's always the same thing. It would be pointless if I told you." Momo sighs, looking away from Dahyun."I do not care a single bit about listening to you say the same thing over and over if it means that you'll be better soon." Dahyun shakes Momo's head, making her giggle despite the seriousness in her words."Baby, you know how I feel, right?" Momo says with a wide smile.Momo can still feel her heart thrumming with speed inside her chest, making butterflies reach from the bottom of her stomach up to her cheeks. She knows that her cheeks are reddening with every second as she dreamily gazes at Dahyun. Dahyun is the apple of her eye indeed."I do, but could you tell me again? It's nice to hear it from time to time," Dahyun teases, making Momo roll her eyes this time."Now you're just fishing for compliments, aren't you?" Momo nags her, mumbling in a whiny tone."That's right," Dahyun teases again."Stupid." Momo tries to mask her shyness, but she fails miserably. She averts her eyes, but Dahyun keeps her gaze on Momo, looking at her expectantly, waiting to actually hear it from her."Say it," Dahyun says with a raised eyebrow and a smirk."I love you," Momo finally says, feeling the blush on her cheeks intensify. But she manages to keep the eye contact this time.Then, she giggles, her perfectly sweet squeaky giggle that always makes Dahyun melt and want more. She can see a bit of pink painting Dahyun's cheeks too, a faint blush from hearing her words. It's enough to make Momo's inside flutter with the sight."I love you too, honey," Dahyun replies while poking Momo's side, knowing she is very ticklish there.It isn't the first time saying it out loud and it won't be the last, but each time they do confess, it's enough to make them hear birds chirping in their minds. It's so easy to love. Though it is not easy to be loved, they can find it within each other, which they are more than glad for. They will make it last for as long as it's possible, for as long as the world will let them.Momo's gaze falls on Dahyun's lips and without wasting any more time, she holds the face of the girl with one of her hands, taking the strands of hair out of the way. Dahyun stifles a soft gasp as Momo slowly leans in closer, waiting for her touch, for Momo to give it all to her. Dahyun's eyes meet the same fate and land on Momo's pouty lips. She licks her own just before they touch.The first press of lips is like a gasp for air, like feeling their throats get unclogged from something that was holding them back. It's soft, it's gentle, it's everything and a little more of what they expected. It isn't their first kiss, but it always feels like a first because they always crave for more, long for something that they've already experienced.Dahyun's hand comes to grab Momo's waist gently, pulling her in to press their chests together and be as close as possible. Momo gently tilts her head and they start moving their lips in a motion they already know, in a way that they already know what's coming next. Their lips mold against each other and Dahyun sighs in relief when she feels Momo's body finally relax.Momo gently nibbles at Dahyun's bottom lip, earning a small sound from Dahyun that she knows the girl will be shy about after. She pulls Dahyun even closer by holding her nape, taking the chance to lick at the seam of her lips and deepen the kiss. The access is quickly given, their shyness melting away as they kiss even more and the intimate seconds tick by.Their tongues meet, not in a rush, not in a hurry. They truly savor the moment, the warmth flowing together makes them both sigh inside each other's mouths. They kiss with passion, tender care, and without words being needed to assign their feelings for each other. It's as if the world around them has stopped just for them, just to watch their love unfold.When they parts ways, Momo still holds Dahyun's face close to hers, inspecting her beauty."I'm so in love with you," Momo blurts out. Her eyes widen when she realizes that she said it out loud, hiding her mouth behind her hand, making Dahyun giggle."I didn't need to ask you to say it this time," Dahyun jokes with a chuckle. Then, she gently moves Momo's hand away from her mouth to connect their lips once more.