Precious (1/1)

The pondering Dahyun does every night is torturing and long. Wanting to express her love is so hard and frustrating and it makes her feel so incredibly weak. She is sitting at the table in the kitchen, staring at the wall, her left leg bouncing up and down as she falls deep in thought.Dahyun never really knew how to show physical affection. There was never a specific reason behind it, though. Even back when she was only a child, she would cringe at herself whenever her friends or family hugged her. That didn't change during her teenage years either. She always just awkwardly stood there, frozen in place whenever someone embraced her. It was all she could do.But then, Momo came along. Simple arm touches, protective stances, and strong hugs awakened the crave to be touched from Dahyun. All she had known before was to stand still and hope for the hug to end, but Momo changed that. So, Dahyun tried to be affectionate in a way that would provide her with similar actions, tried to ask without using her words, always too embarrassed once the question rose on her tongue. It worked for a while. Dahyun would get the small touches from Momo that she wanted and needed.But now, it has started being not enough for Dahyun. She just wants more, like a bone-deep type of physical contact. However, she doesn't want that from just anyone. No, she only wants it from Momo. Lately, she has even been finding herself daydreaming about Momo holding her, holding her hand, caressing her hair. That's all she has ever wanted.Eventually, Momo ended up noticing. How could she not? But Momo has never pushed Dahyun to talk about her needs because, well, because Momo figured it out on her own.Momo simply observes and follows. On bad days where Dahyun is tired and sore from practice, Momo urges Dahyun over, pulls the girl's hands into her own and rubs featherlight circles onto them. Momo does that until she sees Dahyun in a more relaxed state. Then she goes farther, working the swollen muscles in Dahyun's shoulders, and every time, Dahyun shuts her eyes and enjoys the pleasant touch.On some of those bad days, Dahyun hates touch. A single touch is just too much, the gentle line between soothing and cringing at herself gets crossed for the worse and she can't do much about it. She doesn't fight against it, though, because she doesn't have to. Momo always understands her and leaves enough space between them. Momo offers comfort through her words, not her actions. She knows. She understands and that's why Dahyun adores her.On good days, Dahyun wants affection. She just doesn't know how to ask for it, often settling for silence and quiet hopes that Momo will casually touch her. Often, the need rises and she ends up pulling stupid tricks just to feel Momo's touch for even a second. Some days, it is absolutely unbearable.Momo knows, but she never really takes into consideration how much Dahyun loves her attention. She always takes Dahyun's habits as just a form of comfort and satisfaction. She doesn't dare to associate it as being romantic. She never did and never will. She loves their friendship too much for it to be changed by romantic feelings.Momo quietly comes to the table and sits down, not saying a single word. She is tired and worn out from practice, so she just wants to be around the girl to feel some type of comfort herself. The shaking in Dahyun's leg stops when Momo's leg gently brushes against hers.Eventually, Dahyun turns back around and gives Momo a quick glance. It's the quickest glance ever, but Momo still manages to catch it and return it with a smile. So, Dahyun looks at her again, expression blank and consistent. It's not like she is bothered by Momo. In fact, she is so mind-blown about how beautiful and caring Momo is. Thinking back to all the times Momo has supported and taken care of her, Dahyun doesn't blame herself for wanting to have a deeper bond with the girl.When Momo scoots closer to Dahyun and gently puts her hair behind her hair, Dahyun spontaneously decides that it's time. This is the perfect time to talk her thoughts. So, just as Momo withdraws her hand from Dahyun, Dahyun catches it and swiftly intertwines it with her own. Then, she buries her face into her free arm on the table with a sigh."Do you want to talk about it?" Momo is quick to question, her concern expanding as the minutes go by."No," Dahyun says, her voice sharp and direct.Momo also lays her head down on the table and watches strands of hair continuously fall and cover Dahyun's face. Something is obviously wrong, Momo can see and sense it. But when Dahyun proceeds to stay quiet, Momo begins forgetting about it. It doesn't last long, though, because eventually Dahyun tightens her hold on Momo's hand as a muffled sound starts coming from her. Momo jolts up and places a hand on Dahyun's back. The girl seems to be crying."Let it all out, Dahyuni," Momo whispers as she caresses Dahyun's back, knowing that's all she can say, all she can do."It hurts," Dahyun chokes out."What hurts?" Momo asks with concern.Dahyun lifts her head and wipes her tears with her sleeve. She isn't crying anymore, but still trembling."I don't know how long we can do this," Dahyun says."Do what?""Pretend that we don't have feelings for each other." Dahyun starts crying again. "It's so obvious, unnie."Momo sighs. She knew that this day would come eventually. It can either go really bad or really good, there is absolutely no in-between. She remains silent for now and continues caressing Dahyun's back, waiting for her crying to stop. Soon, Dahyun wipes her tears and catches her breath."I want more than hugging you at night. I want so much more, unnie," Dahyun says, almost in a begging manner.Momo still isn't saying anything. Instead, she pulls the girl in for a hug.The day after, Dahyun is laying on the floor in Momo's room, soaking up the sun like a cat. It's a hobby that she strangely just can't let go of whenever she stays over at Momo's place. She doesn't even open her eyes when Momo walks into the room, carrying a basket of clothes."Enjoying yourself there?" Momo asks with a chuckle.Dahyun gives her a lazy "mhm". But since today is a good day, she cracks open one eye, meeting Momo's in the sun. Momo looks ethereal, unbelievably, and utterly beautiful, Dahyun thinks. She wrecks Dahyun's soul, she wrecks it in the best of ways, but Dahyun doesn't mind one bit. Momo offers her a smile and Dahyun feels like she could evaporate on the spot. Momo then sits the basket down on the floor and rests on her bed, phone in hand."Don't let me bother you," Momo says."Like you could ever bother me," Dahyun thinks to herself before letting a content smile cross her face.The two often spend their free time—which of lately was very uncommon—like this. Quiet. Dahyun isn't a talker outside of the group's schedule anyway, so it's easy for her to fall into silence. Momo doesn't mind either because sometimes there is no need for small talk at all. The comfortable silence talks for them.Today really is a good day. Dahyun could stay like this for hours, months, years. No need to move, she could just stay here with Momo. The sun is warm, caressing Dahyun's skin, reminding her of when Momo's gentle hands ran along her sides the night before when sleep failed to claim Dahyun. The way Momo then dragged her fingertips across Dahyun's cheek really was affective on putting the girl to a slumber."Precious," Momo had mumbled that night.Dahyun's eyes opened, just barely, not wanting to stop the gentle touch on her face. "Precious?" she asked in a whisper."Yeah, precious," Momo repeated.She tucked Dahyun's hair behind her air, making Dahyun's body tingle. The words made Dahyun's heart ache because nobody had ever called her precious. She didn't think someone ever would, especially not while looking at her so lovingly. Dahyun's eyes opened more, shining with tears that she didn't know had welled. Momo wiped them away, no words said, only a wide smile on her face. Dahyun felt so open, so vulnerable. Momo made her feel so loved.Dahyun is brought back to the present with a pleasant sigh, but the trip in her mind brought something back with it. The need to be held close, the need for Momo to call her that word again. But, of course, she is hesitant to ask.Normally, Momo senses it somehow. Normally, Dahyun doesn't have to fight her pride to ask for care. But today is still a good day, so she is feeling relaxed and content. The only problem is that she is just too prideful to ask for Momo's affection, no matter how much she craves being close to the girl right now. No matter how much she loves when Momo touches her with gentle hands.Dahyun sighs. She is getting too much into her own head about this. As stubborn as she is, she isn't dumb. "Unnie?" she calls, her voice quiet and pensive.Momo responds with a quiet hum. Dahyun's next words are too quiet to make out, so Momo doesn't understand. "Sorry, what did you say?"Momo then sits up and sees Dahyun sprawled on the floor. Her eyebrows jump up in surprise when she sees how red Dahyun is. Dahyun taps on the floor with her fingers, eyes looking anywhere but at Momo."Can you do my hair?" Dahyun asks in a quiet voice again, her words barely audible.Momo immediately puts her phone to the side.  She smiles, trying her best not to show how excited she actually is that Dahyun asked. "Of course," she says as she pats the bed.Dahyun gets up from the floor, still hesitant. Her skin dreads the loss of the sun, but that complaint quickly burns out when she settles next to Momo. Momo brings Dahyun's head down on her lap and Dahyun sighs, the contact alone already soothing her.Then, Momo lightly drags her nails across Dahyun's neck, picking up the short hairs first. Momo enjoys it just as much as Dahyun, pleasant sparks shooting through her nerves every time her fingertips touch Dahyun's skin. She runs her fingers through Dahyun's soft hair, scratching at her scalp, making the girl melt in her hands."Can you say what you called me the other night?" Dahyun suddenly asks.She feels small, very small in comparison to everything around her while Momo furrows her eyebrows, back-tracking through her mind to understand what Dahyun is talking about. But after a few seconds, it clicks."Precious?"Dahyun nods, words failing her due to Momo's soft voice. Yeah, a single word just broke her. But that word? That word is more than welcome to break her. Momo's hand rests on Dahyun's pulse-point. That's when she notices that the pulse is working faster than it should be. She smiles."You're precious to me, Dahyuni."Dahyun buries her face closer into Momo's lap. If she could, she would crawl under Momo's skin and just live there for a while. That's exactly how close she wants to be to Momo right now. Affection floods her chest so strongly that it knocks the breath out of her."I love you," Dahyun whispers. "I love you, unnie."Momo urges Dahyun to sit up and face her, then leans in and plants a shy kiss on her lips. When they pull away, Dahyun wraps her arms around Momo and embraces her, nearly crushing her in her arms. She buries her head into Momo's neck, failing to hide a big smile. She feels safe, open, vulnerable. She feels precious.