2013. January 27 -part 1- (1/1)
Hey! I'm sorry for not updating for so long! Expect a double update today guys as an apology of my lack of updates! :) 2013. January 27th. I can't remember every detail of that day, but I know it was cold. Very, very cold. I remember the falling snow. Big sparkly flakes of snow fell from the endless dark sky as the light of street lamps reflected back on them... it was so sparkly and beautiful. I remember your eyes, worriedly looking over me. I remember how your fingers turned blue as you held me up from the snow. I remember your voice, calling my name, holding onto me. I remember You. It was cold. After Kyungsoo has successfully climbed out of the pool and left the building, everyone went back to their 'normal' drunk state, flirting and dancing; giving out all the pressure that has piled up during the busy week. „Did you see his face?! Hahaha” Jongjin laughed, putting a hand over Jongin's shoulder. „Oh my gosh, I should have recorded it! It was unbeliavable! hahaha”
„Yeah! Did you see his expression when he fell into the water?? THAT was the best part! He was all 'uh uh ah, help, blrggggg'” Heon Woo flailed his hands and made drowning noises which just made everyone around them laugh harder.
„It was a good move Jongin! Next time there is a party, tell him to bring his swimming shorts too.” Imjong patted Jongin's back.
„Nah, he might come in a bikini! I would rather not have any 'rivals' here.” joined in Imhee too, showing off her gorgeous S-line in front of the boys who either just enjoyed the sight in front of them or gagged at the idea of seeing a fellow male in such a revealing piece of clothing.
Jongin just stood there, his face pale and his heart beating hard against his ribcage. Everything went mute around him a long time ago. He didn't hear anything and the only thing he saw was Kyungsoo's face when he went up to him to say 'Hi'. Kyungsoo's face when everyone was hurting him. The dissapointment in his eyes, when Heon Woo brought up their misunderstanding. The fear in his eyes when he was thrown into the pool and the painful expression he had when he pulled himself to the edge.... Jongin felt his heart painfully tight in his chest.
He felt like throwing up. With wobbly legs, he went to sit on one of the chairs close to the bar and shook his head a few times. „No, no, no, no, no, it wasn't my fault, no, n-”
„Ah, mannnn! I promisssed her to nooooot drink and lookkatsme now! Baahh... It's freakin' cold out how amm I supposed to getshome withoutsmy carrrrr??” the drunk guy fell over his chair and landed with his head banged against the counter, his friend laughing and pointing at the drunken one like a kid.
Jongin shot up from his seat and ran to the elevator. It was freezing cold outside and Kyungsoo went out into the night totally drenched. Jongin wasn't even sure if he could find a cab this late at night without having to stand an hour in this weather.When he finally got out of the huge mansion, he ran through the neighbourhood, looking for the older boy but finding nothing. He was nowhere to be seen. From bus stops to 24-hour shops, he searched everywhere with no result.„k-KYUNGS-” he stopped the attempt to shout the other's name when he saw two girls at the corner clumsily holding onto each other in hopes of not breaking their ankles in those killer heels while tipsily singing some old trot song into the night.Jongin fished his phone out of his packet and started dialing Kyungsoo's number but then his finger stopped hoovering over the buttons when he realised he still hasn't asked for the older's number. He still hasn't asked him anything... It was around 3 am when Jongin finally got back to the dorms. He stood outside for a while, looking up at the dark windows, feeling awful. How is he supposed to face Kyungsoo now? He fidgeted with his keys in the lock. How is he going to make it up to Kyungsoo? He pushed the front door open. What is he going to do if Kyungsoo were to get sick because of what happened? He stopped and let the door close in front of him. No, he didn't do anything wrong. Jongin backed away from the door slowly. Who is this Kyungsoo guy to him anyway? He turned around and started to walk back to the university building. Friends... His steps became faster. No, Jongin has his own friends already. He doesn't need him. He was running by now. The cold wind hitting his face made him all numb. And just like that, his hair in a mess, his cheeks all red, breathing rapidly and his eyes glossy because of the blowing wind, he reached his hiding place: the practice room. And again, he danced. He danced until he couldn't think of anything anymore. He danced until he couldn't feel the remorse creeping up on his conciousness anymore. And when the first rays of sunshine hit the cold wooden floor, lighting up the dark room, he collapsed in tears. The next morning, there were no notes on the counter and no freshly cooked omlettes or wrapped sandwiches waiting for Jongin on the table. The room was painfully quiet and dark. The dancer pulled the curtains open and looked out the window. The sky had a greyish color above the dark brown ground covered with fallen leaves. Jongin turned around to go to his room but stepped on something that cracked under his weight easily. He swore when he saw he just broke one of Kyungsoo's playstation controllers.Something snapped in him. He grabbed the broken controller and went to Kyungsoo's door, yelling „Are you deliberately leaving your things out for me to break?! Weren't you such a 'clean freak' you even came onto me at night just to get off my fricking shoes??” he banged on the hard wood.Getting no response after a few seconds, he decided to just barge into the room but he found no one in it. The room was empty. A cool breeze lifted the curtains here and there through the broken window, which was only fixed with some old newspapers taped to the cracked side. It seems like even the janitor hasn't bothered to come by and fix it eventhough he has already asked him to. Because who is he? He is Kim Jongin, one of the most popular dance prodigy on campus. Breaking a window is nothing, it's not his fault that Kyungsoo left that damn controller on the floor and it's not his fault either that Kyungsoo got humiliated in front of the whole campus. At least that's what he told himself over and over again. „Argh! My head is goint to explode! Why did you guys let me drink so much?!” whined Jongjin, putting his head on the cafeteria table and occassionally slurping his tea.”I could even drive off a cliff no one would be bothered.”
„Could you stop whining and suck it up like a man would? Look at me, am I crying because of my hangover?” Heon Woo mocked Jongjin and slapped him on the back.
„Ouch! My head, my head! Oh my gosh, it's going to fall off!” the older cried, holding his head with both hands.
„Crybaby...”
„I may be a crybaby now, but I will be fine tomorrow, however, you have been crying over your heartbreak for over a year now. Who is the biggest loser between us, huh?” The blonde remarked and pointed at the door. Heon Woo groaned as soon as he saw who the other was pointing at. Imhee and Imjong were making their way to the boys' table.”Great...” Heon Woo mumbled.„Hey! You guys look crap.” Imjong laughed and took a seat next to Jongjin who was still drinking his lemon tea with his head held up by his hands.„Well, thank you. It's always nice to hear a good friend compliment you after a crazy night of drinking. Good to have you here, now go home.” Jongjin mocked as he pushed on the older's shoulders.
„Imhee, how do you feel? You drank a lot yesterday.” Heon Woo asked looking up at the girl who was still standing at the table, scanning the cafeteria for someone.
„She basically knocked out at the end. She woke up to a crazy headache and didn't stop whining eventhough I told her to not drink so much. Right, Imhee?” her brother poked her side.
„Yeah, yeah.” she slapped his hands away.”Did you see Jongin today?”
„I haven't heard of him since the party. I will call him.” Jongjin got out his phone and dialed the dancer's number.
„Ah! Jongin!” Imhee called out and waved her hands when she spotted the boy at the door of the cafeteria.„There's our lost boy!” Imjong greeted him „Judging by the dark circles, you have slept through the whole day too to avoid hangover, huh?”
„Well...” Jongin looked through the cafeteria, searching for a familiar face among the crowd.„You left pretty early yesterday. I wanted to dance with you.” Imhee pouted and put her hands around Jongin's arm. Heon Woo looked at her in disgust. „Maybe he hooked up with a chick from the party and was too busy.” he remarked bitterly.'What?? Jongin, you were with a girl yesterday?? Who?? Who were you with??” she pulled on his arm, desperate.„No, I... I had something to take care of. Do you know if...err, where is the Music Department?” Jongin asked Imjong.„It's next to our dorm. Why?”„I'm looking for someone.”'I'm going too!” Imhee shot up.”I have some business there too.” she flashed him her sweetest smile and Heon Woo started to gag. „ Can't you be more obvious?” he sneered before standing up and leaving.„I'm kind of busy now Imhee, sorry. Maybe next time.” Jongin said and jogged out of the cafeteria building too.Jongjin and Imjong looked at Imhee with pitiful eyes to which she only responded with a glare. The building of the Music department was even fancier than the dancers'. There were paintings of instruments and famous musicians on the walls. They were painted a baige color and it complimented the red carpet well which led you through the corridor to the practice rooms where orchestras and choirs were performing or practicing. The halls were designed as if they were in an opera house and everything looked bright and sophisticated. It was so elegant that Jongin almost felt embarrassed for only wearing sweatpants and jacket to come here. There was a little map on the wall which showed each part and rooms in the building and all the exits, red arrows showing the fastest way to the exit from each room in the case of a fire alarm. Jongin looked at the little map and felt lost. Which building should he look for him in? Which subject was Kyungsoo majoring in? Was he studying composing? Does he write music or was he playing on an instrument? Was he aiming to be a singer? There were so many things Jongin didn't know about Kyungsoo. Did he like action movies or comedies? Was he a fan of Manchaster United or Liverpool? Did he like watching sports or actually playing them? Did he have friends? Did he have a happy family? Was he hurt badly over what has happened the day before? There were so many questions Jongin didn't know the answer to and it drove him mad. Was he always this self-centered? Was he really such a jerk over the past few weeks and never tried to actually get to know the person he was sharing a room with? He thought about the things Kyungsoo has done to him. The genuine smiles and the honest care he showed towards him... Jongin blamed it on the showcase. He was just too busy to care about anything else besides all-night practices and classes. He was just too busy to care about Kyungsoo. Jongin turned around and left the building. He isn't here to make friends.