Bridge (1/1)

Masihkah aku diinginkan, masihkah aku didambakan?(Am I still wanted, am I still desired?)Masih ada waktu untukmu, bersamamu akankah kujalani hidup?(There is still time for you, will I spend the rest of my life with you?)  Joonmyeon blinked his eyes, groaning when some pain hit on his back. He straightened himself, hissing as he sat on his spot. His eyes wandered around. Dark. Night had came off.He heaved a sigh when he remembered what happened earlier. He was crying until he finally fell asleep on the floor. The heavy feeling on his chest returned and it was tightening. He stood up and walked to where the light switch was situated. Even in the presence of light the room still screamed emptiness, and more so when his eyes were drawn into the cake on the table. It looked dead, just like his heart.He didn't know why he did that, dashing to the cake, grabbing it, and walking off to the kitchen. As he reached the trashed bin, he slammed the cake into its inside. There was a satisfaction as he watched the cake broke off: the inside of the cake and the frosting, the decoration blended together in a disastrous way. However, it just lasted temporarily. On the next three second , emptiness engulfed him and crushed his heart.Unable to bear the feeling, he straightly went to his shared room with Jongin. He snucked himself into the bathroom and have himself a quick, clean shower. Water dripped from him as his naked body walked out of the shower. He didn't give a care if Jongin would be upset later due to the the pool of water he made on floor. He just wanted to get away from the house as quick as possible.He peeked a glance on the mirror as he finished dressing up. His read hair was still wet but Joonmyeon was always looking-good anytime, anywhere.Sadly it isn't enough to keep Jongin around.Another heave of sigh before he walked out of his room. #   #  # Han River.This was the place they first met. It was on a spring day, five years ago. He was walking down the road, enjoying the view Han River in a cool weather. That was when he bumped into a stranger.That was when he bumped into Jongin.Jongin was definitely handsome and Joonmyeon swore he was "the faceless man" that he often saw in his dream where he was united with his true love. He played it cool though, he didn't squeal even when his heart was screaming, even when his heart was beating so fast and his stomach was churning in a weird feeling. It was their first meeting and he had instantly fallen in love with Jongin.They exchanged nothing but apology before they went on to their own activity. Jongin walked off of him, leaving Joonmyeon extremely disappointed. Joonmyeon was not a type of a runner, he didn't have a courage to talk to him. He had no choice but continuing his rather bland sightseeing, mind unable to forget Jongin.Nonetheless, they kept seeing each other the next day, and the next day, and the days following. It was awkward at the second meeting (they finally exchanged names and talked), but it went smooth at the following meetings. Jongin was medical student who was in his first year while Joonmyeon told him that he didn't go to college but instead owing a cafe by himself. Jongin was impressed that a man as young as Joonmyeon was a boss for himself.They quickly became friends. Jongin went to Joonmyeon's cafe whenever he was free and Joonmyeon would always serve Jongin with mint cake he made specially for the younger man.Jongin was nice and to be honest, Joonmyeon was very engrossed by the flame toward that young man. Everything about Jongin was captivating: the way he spoke, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, everything was just magnetizing. However, Joonmyeon was always the man in control, he was always playing it cool. No one knew his feeling, except Kyungsoo, his most beloved employee, who Joonmyeon suspected of having sixth sense or whatever for guessing his feeling correctly."Oh, you are so obvious, Hyung! I can't bear the sickness of seeing your electric love that you sent him through your eyes every time you look at him."It earned Kyungsoo a pinch on his arm from Joonmyeon. Kyungsoo was hissing, but he was so supportive of their potential love story. He was always delivering series of advice, that Joonmyeon should tell his feeling to Jongin, which Joonmyeon brushed off immediately. He couldn't do that, just couldn't."You would feel bad later when he is taken by someone because you're doing nothing but too much waiting."It made Joonmyeon very depressed sometimes.But it finally happened, nice and in an unexpected way that Kyungsoo ever thought. Jongin confessed his feeling to Joonmyeon, on June 23, a year after they met. Nothing could beat the happiness inside Joonmyeon's heart, as he was kissed by Jongin and spilled small tears of happiness at the end of the confession. Kyungsoo was wrong but he was happy for the two. He just complained when Joonmyeon hugged him too tight, feeling burst into happiness the next day he saw that petite man. Joonmyeon was happy. He even gave Kyungsoo bonus on the month's salary day. Kyungsoo didn't say no. He just loved the money but he was happy for his friend as well.Joonmyeon's life was complete with happiness. He spent day with the man who was so funny and calm at the same time. Jongin was an embodiment of Yin and Yang, he could be really cool at times and at the other times he was a complete fool. Joonmyeon loved both sides of him, to the core of his heart. That's why he didn't say no when Jongin proposed him on his graduation day, a year after his confession, in front of his family. Joonmyeon nodded and bursted into tears, like what happened to Jongin's mother. It was a ethereal.The day they were officially married was the happiest day of Joonmyeon's life. They were young and free, and full of love. They were the happiest couple in the world. They were ready to embark the journey together. They were inseparable. They were one.Jongin proved to be a responsible man. He went to his internship in the hospital and he was determined that he would be a full pledged doctor in three years time. He was working hard toward it and Joonmyeon was always there to support him. Joonmyeon was always there to make him a cup of tea at the late night Jongin came home. Joonmyeon was always there when Jongin poured his frustration at the office and broke down on Joonmyeon's lap. Joonmyeon was there whenever Jongin needed him. He was there for him.It was for two years only, anyway.Getting into their third year of marriage, Jongin started to change. He was slowly becoming cold toward him. It was subtle, very subtle at first. He became engaged more into his work, then he came home later than usual. Their dinner was more to skip than attend. Quality time together became less and and less intense, and so was smile and happiness inside Jongin. His words got sharper each time he didn't feel right or Joonmyeon made mistakes like when he was late to bring him the tie he needed today or when his coffee was a bit bitter. Jongin never yelled at him and he was not a violent person, but his cold attitude was the one that hurt Joonmyeon very deeply.Joonmyeon was well aware on what the words on the wind said, that Jongin had been seeing someone lately. He befriended some of Jongin's colleagues and one of them, who he considered a brother already, couldn't help but telling him what happened."I can't hold myself not telling you this, Joonmyeon-hyung. I just can't hide it from you. You are like my hyung already and Jongin had turned into this bitch. He is seeing Jongdae."Jongdae. Joonmyeon knew who he was, they once met when Joonmyeon dropped by Jongin's hospital to deliver him lunch. He was a senior doctor, five years older than Jongin. Jongin used to speak about him with full admiration, telling Joonmyeon how talented that surgeon was. Joonmyeon had no hard feeling at first, he was just Jongin's idol and what was wrong with having an idol? Joonmyeon himself had Minhoo-ssi, the winner of Korean Masterchef who inspired him to open his own cafe seven years ago. Nothing was wrong with admiring someone. Wasn't that normal?What Joonmyeon didn't expect was the admiration turned into infatuation. He wasn't there to see that Jongin and Jongdae started to love each other. Sehun, who was always looking cold and stiff to everyone, couldn't contain his anger when he revealed Jongin's affair to him. Soon everyone had urged him to confront Jongin, demand the truth from the man he married three years ago. They asked Joonmyeon to corner Jongin and give him two choice: stay true to Joonmyeon and leave Jongdae or get divorced.However, Joonmyeon defied their advice, shutting even his own scream at his heart. He didn't want to believe in them. No, he didn't want to believe in them. He wanted to believe in Jongin. He didn't want to see the fact that people had pushed in front of his nose. He didn't want to believe that the one he loved with his life could break his trust and betray their solemn promise on the altar at the other day.How was it possible?Joonmyeon stopped walking as drizzle hit his face. He looked at the sky. It was bleak and dark and cold powder of water was coming down the earth.Now, even the sky shows me no mercy.His eyeballs wandered off to Han River. The said river which was usually calm and serene looked a bit violent tonight. The stream flew fast and he could see splashes as the water clashed with itself at some points.Han River is one of people's most favorite spot to commit suicide ....Joonmyeon shook his head hard as regret punched him on his face. He never once had a thinking to end his life, not even in the darkest time of his life, when both his parents died in a car accident ten years ago. He, though devastated and crushed to his core, had never considered of going through a shortcut to finish his problems, and his life. He felt disgusted with himself to let that dark thought rule his mind even for just a split second.Joonmyeon! Go! NOW!He gulped, trying to ease his mind a bit. He needed to drink. He needed to forget. He needed someone to crash on his couch tonight. Joonmyeon took his cell phone while looking for a place to drink."Annyeong, Kyungsoo.""Annyeong, Hyung.""Are you still in the cafe?""I am still on my shift, if you want to know.""No, not like that. I just ..., wanna ask you, can you close the shop half an hour later? I need you here, if you don't mind.""What happened, Hyung? You sound very troubled."There was a lump on his throat and tears that threatened to run again, but he distracted his mind by keeping a track to find a place. He saw a street cafe nearby and the discovery was enough to relieve him a bit."I ..., have ..., issues. I just need a friend to talk. But, I don't wanna force you or anything. You don't have to --""It is about Jongin, isn't it?"Joonmyeon was panting, due to both mild exhaustion and sadness."Pretty much."The cafe was just a few meter now."That fucking prick! Alright. Just tell me where you are now, Hyung. I will come there in --"Thud.The phone fell. Joonmyeon froze at his spot, in front of the street cafe.There was someone he knew very well, sitting in the middle of the many tables. Amidst the people chattering, he seated himself face to face with another man, smiling and holding hands. They both were seeing each other with happy, delightful face, and they broke into laughter sometimes. They didn't pay any attention to their surrounding, even when they approached each other and united into a kiss."Jo ..., Jongin ...." #   #   #September 27, 2014 I really got depressed when making this chapter. Imagining the sad face of Joonmyeon, how could I ....Thank you all for subscribing and commenting. I need your feedback. Do leave comment as well please. I am waiting. TuT Schandelierre