If love exists (1/1)

She had never, seen it in her entire life. Love. She wondered if it even existed, or if it was simply a myth that writers made up to draw people into their books like bees to honey. She had read about love, the kind of epic, fiery love that burned passionate and all things red. She had seen that kind of love in movies, where the boy always knew just when to swoop in and lift the girl off her feet, often quite literally. She had just never seen it in her life, with her own two eyes. She couldn't even see it in her parents. Well, maybe, just maybe, that a lifetime ago, when her parents were younger, maybe they loved each other more vibrantly. But right now, her parents'  sustaining marriage and co-existence seemed more out of convenience and familiarity rather than love. Jin Yi had never seen her parents hold hands, spontaneously hug, kiss or declare mutual love. She had never seen her dad speak of anything to her mother outside of family matters, Jin Yi's academics and social life, financial business or day-to-day run of the house matters. She sometimes wondered if her dad even knew that it was her mom who cooked, cleaned and somehow kept the house in place along with the family.Jin Yi wanted the kind of love she read in books. That sort of epic, dangerously thrilling, love. That love, which at the same time, manages to be a safe haven and a beautiful existence. The kind of love in which his concrete, angled beauty rockets through your veins like he’s made of angelic blood and light and in which your own ordinary grace is upheld and exulted by his unconditional reverence and casual gentleness.Or maybe she just wants to be part of the cliched bad-boy-meets-good-girl love story. Yes, Jin Yi is a good girl. She keeps up fair grades in school - although she is not the top student. She has a few close friends who are like her - casual, girl-next-door types with more books than male friends, more thoughts than spoken words, although they are not impartial to the daily lunchtime gossip exchange and weekend shopping trips. She listens to her parents - or if she ever defies them, it is of small matter and she tries not to get caught. She is polite and well-groomed, with a soothing, dulcet voice and chocolate brown hair kept in neat C-curls to her elbows, sometimes tied in a high ponytail. It is her eyes and her gaze that unsettles people. The way they are calm and never darting, the way they smile and placate unfazingly. Jin Yi may be a good girl, but she is not stupid. She knows danger when she sees it. She knows when people tell lies to her face. She can see through it all, as much as she loves to daydream. Perhaps it is the frequency of her daydreams that she is able to build a strong understanding between reality and fantasy. She separates them as much as they hold her together. He thinks he has seen love, up close. He thinks love is the couples pass by him on he streets, hands tucked into each others' coat pockets, footsteps close in sync. He thinks love is the googly eyes that the part-time barista makes as she hands him his hot cinnamon latte with her number and a hastily scrawled "Call Me!" on the side of the paper cup. He thinks love is the way his parents are silent in each other's company, content to sit next to each other, communicating with unspoken words rather than voices. He thinks he knows love, and that's why he gives himself the permission to manipulate it.Kim Jongin, who goes by Kai mostly, is boyish laziness and cocky one-liners embodied. His always tousled and always messy brown hair falls in his eyes and gives him a mysterious aura. His shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows to display tanned skin and lightly muscled forearms is kept tucked out over dark skinnies or sometimes track pants for when he dances. Kim Jongin keeps girls chasing him with his deliberate bad-boy getup paired with his originally beautiful facial bone-structure (read: glacial cheekbones) and delicately curled, long lashes. Kim Jongin rocks the sensitized dancer-jock image. He writes poetry, sometimes lyrics for the songs his best friend and partner in crime, Oh Sehun writes. He dances soulfully. He plays sports well enough to be considered for the team each time. Kim Jongin also likes attention.He substitutes attention for love. He craves it. But he dare not act upon it. Kim Jongin may seem like the typical playboy, but there is one thing that sets him apart from the other casanovas. As much as he attracts maybe 80% of the female population, Kim Jongin has never dated. Ever.   a/n: Hello! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. It mainly serves as an introduction to the main characters! More to come! Subscribe, comment and let me know what you think.xLUcidlove