-five- (1/1)

"Sir , what do we do?" Donghyun asked, standing stone in front of heechul ." kill him , it's not fun anymore to watch him rattle like a rat and beat around the bush , he isn't going to pay anyhow" Heechul stood up leaving after giving his orders .      The moment i saw her that night , something flicked inside of me and i unknowingly felt threatened by the way she made me feel . I felt threatened by the mere existence of such delicacy.I despised her first for helping me without even knowing who i was , i hated how addictively soft her fingers felt against my skin and i most importantly felt hindered whenever i'd think of her . Whenever i'd think of how her fingertips felt against my skin , almost driving him crazy, I haven't felt this way in such a long time and it made me want her even more.She was the definition of soft , everything in her made me want to hold her and i got angry at the thought .I was a god damn criminal , i went to prison several times for several accusations , why did i have to land an eye on such delicacy .It broke my heart to see her drift tears and i regretted raising a gun on a human being for the first time in my whole life .The next day i found myself asking Minseok for her address to apologise properly and it only got worse when she offered me to take the money , the way she made me feel concerned me in a way plotting someone's murder was easier and by that time i realised just how lean i got on her , how fondly my heart grew of her , she looked at me with those crystal orbs as a human and not a monster it made me doubt if her vulnerability in front of me meant something .When i asked Minseok about her , he warned me to stay away and keep my monstrous selfish self away from her and i understood it only now i decided to ignore it .Her cushion like lips felt like heaven against my chapped ones , the soft warm skin , the dewy plump cheeks and the fair skin , it all hollowed on my mind terribly , making me long for her when i knew she'd say no to everything i wanted to offer her until i saw the look on her face when her hands pressed against mine helping me ease the pain on my swollen hurt hand , i decided it was worth the shot when she wrinkled her nose in concern when i winced , i felt the world was worth it again.I wanted her , more than anything i've ever wanted , i wanted her more than i wanted freedom that i was never getting .The moment she left my sight , worry of what was coming after took over my head , numbing me.If i don't pay Heechul , i am surely going down the drill and i needed to do something about soon or i won't be able to see my brothers and Seungwan again .There i go adding her up in everything and anything .The thought of me needing to pay back whatever debts i had took me back to the days i mercilessly raised guns at people and killed whoever i want whenever i felt angry , i was full of shit and i knew so , i was unable to contain all my furious hormones to myself , the first time i got involved directly and became a stable well known figure among the dreadful ones was when i was 19 , i leaded my first drug transmission and nailed it , it's when i knew that it was the job for me , i was convinced that it's what i needed to do to make a living , it got me more money than i thought i'd ever have , after all we lived homeless , roofless and full of stupid fears for the upcoming and the past .I stepped into the apartment i stayed in with my brothers to find them all seated on the couch in front of the Tv screen."Where were you ?" Minseok asked when our eyes met"I took Seungwan home " i said slumping my body on the couch as well feeling my muscles relax."Didn't i tell you to leave her alone ?" he glared and i couldn't help but snort"I am not a kid Minseok just get over it "i hissed , he was treating me like a kid"You need to know that anything you do with her around will make her your enemies target as well you punk and if you like her that much you should know better than put her in danger with you " Minseok reminded meHe hit me right on the nerve , it stung ."I know" i replied bitterly"You better " he sputtered before leaving the living room.I was unable to sleep a wink that night , all I thought of was how to pay the fucking debt and get over with it to ask for redemption and start all over with her .I was at her door early in the morning , waiting for her .she came out in the cutest white soft dress sweater and a white beanie, a long black coat covering her bare legs and the need to see her fit in a white wedding gown that highlighted all her plump curves filled the back of my mind .I was surely going insane.she seemed rushed then stood surprised , midway looking at me ." what are you doing here ?" she asked puzzled" I am here to take you wherever you need to go " I shrugged then reached out for her bag but she snached it away ." I don't remember asking for that junmyeon " she said then walked away and i followed her , my hands reaching to grab her shoulder to stop her" I am not going to give up and I hope you know it , I wasn't joking around yesterday about wthat I said , you better take it at heart " I tried speaking sternly to show her my determinationshe blinked at me a few times without saying anything then turned on her heels walking away .All I could do was follow her around .I watched her step inside a nursing home and I couldn't help but think that she is the most noble human being which made me feel bad about myself, we were polar opposites ,we were different poles in every way , she was soft and my hands were harsh , I wanted to feel every bit of the softness she carrie