Determination (1/1)

I felt Taecyeon's grip tighten around my wrist as I looked around me. The tears on my face were frozen dry. The movements I could make with my facial muscles were limited, unless I wanted to hurt my face, that is.Joy was standing next to Taecyeon with a clueless expression on her face. It seemed as if she wanted to grab him and take his hands off me, but that there was something stopping her."This is between me and her, Chansung," Taecyeon said very calmly, "just let go."Practically burning a hole in Taecyeon's face with his glare, Chansung coldly replied, "You're kidding, right? When you make her feel like crap, how do you think I feel? When you take her back from me, where do I go?"Passerbys were starting to point and whisper to each other when they saw this dramatic scene.Taecyeon loosened his clenched fist when he saw me wincing with pain; he was crushing my wrist."Let her decide then," Taecyeon suggested as he looked at my worried expression.I turned around and looked at Chansung; never before had I ever seen him so angry. He was always so calm whenever things like this happened in the past, but this time things were different. He and I were together, for real... as a couple. This whole "break" Taecyeon and I were on was no longer that but rather a full on break up. Afterall, he and Joy have always been destined for each other. I had Chansung now, and I was happy with that. I have been and always will be a 10 out of 10 on the happiness scale when I'm with him."Don't make her choose like this," Chansung suddenly said amidst the silence."No," I finally spoke up, "No. Chansung's right. This stops now.""Ti--" Taecyeon began with an angry expression beginning to spread on his face."No," I repeated myself, shaking my head, not letting him add anything else to sway my already made-up mind. My voice quaked, "Just let go. You've got a beautiful, sweet girl standing next to you who you're with, and will be with for perhaps the rest of your life. It's best if we stopped this now.""Tiffany," he shifted his hand to my hand, holding it tenderly instead of forcefully clenching my wrist, "Joy and I aren't--""Taec, we should just go," she finally spoke, "they clearly want to be alone."I nodded silently as I retracted my hand. Taking this short opportunity of silence, I backed up into Chansung, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to his body. I tried to avoid eye contact with Taecyeon as we walked away.Then it hit me... he and Joy aren't... what? How was he going to finish that sentence? I'd better forget about it though. Perpetuating this problem was not good for me, nor would it be any good for Chansung."Are you alright?" Chansung squeezed my hand.I sniffled and blinked back the wetness in my eyes, "I will be, now that I'm just with you."He smiled with sad eyes, then looked away."I'm sorry," I began, "I know I say that a lot, but I really do mean it.""Don't be," he shook his head, "we're all trying to figure out the situation; no one know exactly what to do."As I leaned my head against his shoulder, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.Pulling out the device, I smiled at Chansung before looking down at the bright screen."New Message from Jay: Are you free tonight?"I looked up and Chansung and scanned his hardening expression."Was that from Taecyeon?" I shook my head, "It's just Jay.""Oh... What's he saying?""He's just asking if I'm free tonight. Come to think of it, I haven't hung out with him in an eternity.""Are you going to ditch me?""You can come too...." I pouted."Nah, it's fine. You're going to spend the night at my dorm anyways," he smiled, cupping my face with his hands and kissing me on the forehead.As he let go, I quickly typed back: "Yeah. Do you wanna hang out?"He replies: "Come over to the coffee shop on my campus.""I'll be there in 15 minutes tops :)" I sat at the shop, warming my hands with a cup of latte, waiting for Jay to show up. Looking around me, I tried to see if I missed him somehow when I walked in."Hey," he sat down across the table, putting his hat in front of him."You're late!" I said light-heartedly."I know; I just got caught up with some stuff in the dorm. Sorry...""It's fine; I got some quiet time to myself to think.""Why? Has there not been a lot of that lately?"I shook my head, my happy expression slowly fading."Come to think of it... What's up with you and Taec?""Hmm.. Funny you should ask," I sipped my latte.With a puzzled expression, he urged me to explain."Well.... This whole going on double dates thing has been really bothering me.. and today, I just... I don't really know what I did," I spaced out for a moment, "and I didn't think I was going to regret it... but without Chansung by my side, it just feels so wrong.""Would you like to tell me what happened?" He chuckled.I giggled at my absent-mindedness, "We were on a double date at the movies, and I just could stand watching Joy get so touchy with him; at our previous double date she just kept telling me about how they were pretty much destined for each other... that he's happy with the fact that I'm with Chansung now....But um.." I tried to remember where I was going with my story, "Taecyeon caught me crying to Chansung... and well, he wanted to pull me away to talk to me, but I just couldn't allow the problem to perpetuate itself.""So you pretty much ended everything, huh.""Pretty much."I stared into space again, replaying the dramatic scene in my mind once again."So... that's it? No more Taecyeon for you?""I just can't. For so many reasons," I shook my head."What are the reasons?""Well... first and foremost, he's with Joy, and from what she's been telling me, I should just stay away. Secondly, Chansung and I are happy together-""When you're together, though."I looked around, searching for something to change the subject to."What about when you're not with Chansung?""I'm...""Thinking about Taec.""Yeah.... but it'll end.""Will it, really?"I smiled at him with tired eyes, "Yeah."I feigned a yawn."I'll be right back," he stood up, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."I nodded as I closed my burning eyes momentarily. Crying had always made me tired.Mere moments later, I heard the screaching of the chair legs across from me on the wooden floor."That was fast," I said, lazily opening my eyes.Holy shit.It's Taecyeon."Hi," he flashed an apologetic smile.My heart began pounding so enthusiastically that I could hear my own heartbeat. Jay, you're a dead man."I know you don't want to see me right now," he winced, "but I just have to talk to you.""I--""Wait."I stared and waited.He drew in a deep breath, "I know you probably don't have much to say to me anymore... after all this... but," he sighed, "It's time I told you that Joy and I aren't actually dating."I squinted at him with skepticism."It's a long story, but I asked her to help me turn you around... to make you realize that you still love me...if you do.""So she's just a random girl you don't really know?""No, the part about us knowing each other since we were really young was real.""How do I know you're not bull-shitting me?""You don't. You just have to trust me."I paused and thought about all the information he just told me, "So... you got an old friend of yours to help you lie to me about cheating on me so that I would come running back to you?"He stared at me with his pokerface."You're ridiculous," I swirled my coffee cup taking in all that he had just revealed to me, "What if I told you it didn't work? What if that just pushed me away further?""I wouldn't believe you.""Even if I was telling the truth?"He nodded."So you'd be happy staying ignorant about how I really feel?"He nodded again.I shook my head, rolling my eyes but smiling."Anymore questions?" He flashed me a toothy smile."Actually?" I paused, "Yes.""Shoot.""How do you think I really feel?""About me?"I nodded."Truthfully, I don't know. However, I am willing to wait for you," he looked around, "If you are really not interested anymore right now, it doesn't matter... I know that we're going to end up together.""You say that with such confidence...""Because it will happen," he breathed in a lungful of air, "I've come to realize that this thing with Chansung might just pass.""What do you mean... 'pass'?" I squinted at him."Hopefully by letting you go for this period of time, you'll satiate something within him and be able to break off easily," he nodded.I began shaking my head, "That's just not how it works. The more time you spend with someone, the more you fall in love with them.""And...?""What if I'm falling in love with him?"His expression grew hard; I could tell something within him just shattered."And... his feelings aren't just going to go away-- that is if our relationship was meant to be.""And it's not. We're meant to be, Tiffany.""What if we're not? How are you so sure?""Because I feel it," he laughed, "That's so cliche, but I do. I know we're supposed to be together.""Maybe.""No; for sure."I checked my watch for the time. I was supposed to be over at Chansung's in a bit."Are you leaving soon?"I nodded."Can I walk you or bring you home?""Uh... I don't know if that's such a good idea.""Why..?""I'm going over to Chansung's for the weekend."He glanced at my watch, "We have time; just stay until you really have to leave."I giggled, "I didn't even tell you what time I was supposed to leave..."He wiggled his eyebrows at me, "I'm telepathic.""Nice save," I laughed.Suddenly, I felt his warm hand spread over my palms. He was carefully watching what he was doing as he played with my finger gently and traced drawings and letters on my palm like he always did.I had a random shiver attack."I still love you," he whispered, "I'll always wait for you, but I don't know if I can do it passively for very long.""Meaning...""I'm going to fight him for you.""Ugh you're being ridiculous," I drew my hand back once I realized that I was enjoying this moment too much."To you, maybe.""Look, I still have feelings for him, too. It's not that simple.""I've already been coming back every weekend to do this whole "make Tiffany jealous" thing... I've decided that I'm going to keep it up," he smiled, "that means more hang out time for us.""It's not just about you not being here all the time," I sighed."It's not?"Actually... is it not? I had no clue.He widened his eyes for my reply."I... don't think so."Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see who it was and realized it was just Jay."Aren't I such a savior?" He said as he sat down again."You knew what was going on, and you never bothered to fill me in?""I wanted him to tell you by himself," Jay sipped my coffee.I tsk-ed and whined, "Get your own coffee!""No, I don't want to," he drank the last of the cup.I pouted at him."You're so goddamn cute," Taecyeon said.I fixed my bangs, and tried to avoid the comment. Suddenly, i remembered the time again and looked down at my watch."I have to go, guys," I stood up, "It's getting late."Taecyeon immediately stood up when he saw me move, "Let me walk you.""That's really not a good idea," I replied softly."I mean, I'll follow you if you don't agree to letting me walk you," he teased.I couldn't help but smile."Come on, please?""Ugh fine," I grabbed my bag and began walking.He soon caught up and looped his arm for me to link my arm with his, but I didn't.As we walked silently in under the warm lighting of the lamp posts, jumping over mounds of snow and slowly shuffling to the cleared pathways, I realized that he was staring at me. I turned to catch his gaze.Staring at each other, we continued to walk.I smiled a looked away."I know that smile," he said."What smile?""The one you do when you're thoroughly enjoying the moment. The one with which you tell yourself that you're content with the way things are and that you don't want the moment to end. I know it."I smiled again."There it is again."Flustered at my readability, I slapped his arm, "St~op, " I whined as cutely as I could.He chuckled. We were soon at the gates of Chansung's dorm, and I felt a little pinching sensation in my heart as I pulled away from our hug.Yes, I wanted Taecyeon. I wanted him more than anything in the world, but I couldn't just ditch Chansung like that. Not again.Maybe he was right-- at least I hope he was.... maybe Chansung and I would eventually fall apart and it'd be easier for me to go to Taecyeon freely."I guess this is it," I shrugged with my fists balled up in my sleeves."No, it's not," he smiled, "Don't forget, we still have a long future together."I sighed with a smile, picturing a perfect future with Taecyeon.As I opened the gate and was about to walk in, he grabbed my wrist again."Wait," he said."Hmm?" I turned around.His palms were slightly clammy; something was making him nervous.I waited for a response, but all he did was stare."What?""I love you," he said loudly, "And--""What are you doing here?" Chansung's assertive voice boomed in what had been a peaceful atmosphere; he literally popped up out of no where.I gasped quietly, looking over at Taec, hoping he really was telepathic: it'd be best if Chansung didn't know about our talk.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------:3 wow. I am the queen of procrastination.but there you go! another chapter of entertainment... there will be more coming in the future so I hope you'll stay tuned!@sixcharacters: thank you, thank you; /bows I'm glad you like the fic@milli-o: ugh omg. the more I write this fic, the more sad I become of the fact that I don't have a boyfriend like that :(, but nonetheless, I'm glad you like the story. stay tuned for more emotional pain! lol that sounds really bad, but that really is what's coming at you soon.@Mzjulieb2uty: \  ^________^  / yay (that's me throwing my hands up with joy at the fact that you like this fic)xoxo,

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