In a Daze (1/1)

The world around me seemed to be spinning. To my left sat Joy; next to her, there was Taecyeon. Chansung's breaths warmed the right side of my neck. The smell of buttery popcorn filled the air as the lights dimmed down and the screen ahead of us brightened with colorful lights. My cheeks flushed at the warmth of the movie theatre. It was as if the heaters were turned up to full blast-- but for good reason: the world outside was beyond bitterly cold; there was no other way to describe the coldness outside than arctic. I rubbed my hands together. For some reason, they hadn't warmed up yet like the rest of my body.Seeing me struggle to gain warmth in my hands, Chansung wrapped his giant hands around mine and kissed me on the cheek.I tried to hide my smile, biting my lower lip and looking away. Bad decision; I caught Taecyeon's gaze. He smiled.However, without much thought, I quickly looked away, heart racing.Once I managed to calm myself down, I laid my head down on Chansung's shoulder, linking my arm with his while still holding onto his hands.This was our second double-date with Taecyeon and Joy. I had no idea why I would always agree to them. They were absolutely horrifying. Not only did she make it absolutely clear that Taecyeon was hers and that I was no longer a part of his life, but it was just strange to be heartbroken when all I really needed was right there with me.. Chansung.. that is.After our first double date I went back to my dorm and cried for a good thirty minutes; I'm still not quite sure why. Eh. Maybe I do, I just don't want it to be for that reason.Okay, I still love Taecyeon.. but he's happy... but I'm jealous... but I have Chansung.Ugh someone needs to shoot me. Why am I so selfish..."Tiff," Chansung whispered into my ear."Hmm?" I mumbled as I playfully toyed with his fingers."Do you want to leave...?""But we can't just ditch on a double-date..." I replied, reluctant to leave merely because I didn't want Taecyeon and Joy to have the time to canoodle with each other."But we already had dinner with them," he whined.I lifted my head from his shoulder but was still leaning in his direction. I can't let her win Taecyeon over, there was no way I was going to leave with Chansung. Two weeks ago, Taecyeon and I had a skype "date"... well... I don't really know if you can count it as a date; it's not like we're still together.That's when he told me everything.The truth.How they had sex when he was away; how they were childhood friends "destined" to be together; how her parents loved him and wanted him to be their son-in-law; how he was going to start dating her from now on.What he didn't tell me, though, was how he felt about it. I wanted to ask, but I was too broken to do move my mouth. I also wanted to ask him why he hadn't bothered telling me any of this before, when we were together.I don't know why I was so silent. Why didn't I drill him with more questions? Guilt? but for what?I guess he's getting his revenge on me for being such an awful girlfriend.But somehow...I don't know. It just sucks to be the no-longer. "Well?" Chansung nudged me."I want to watch this movie," I tried to play it off cooly."You want to watch Breaking Dawn...?" He furrowed his eyebrows with disbelief, "You were just talking about how much you hated this movie series.""Well..." I stammered, "Taylor Lautner is hot." Not really, I actually think he's quite unattractive... sorry girls."I'll show you what hot really is," he smiled seductively, "that is if we leave now."From the corner of my eye I see Joy feed Taecyeon popcorn and giggle as he whispers something into her ear."I guess I'll never see what hot really is," I joked.He glared."Oh come on," I poked, "It won't be that bad... and if it is, we'll leave, okay?"He nodded.We sat in silence as the movie theatre continued to dim its lights. Girls in the front rows began giggling with joy as the opening sequence played. I rolled my eyes. Who am I kidding? I hate twilight. This movie series is actually ridiculous. You would have to pay me to watch this movie... or tell me that Taecyeon is on a date with a girl who he might actually leave me for. Last week, when we were on out double-date at a winter carnival, Taecyeon and I barely spoke. They seem to really have a great connection, those two... maybe... what if I'm the other girl in their relationship? What if they were in fact meant to be, and I was just the break in their relationship?Chansung and I had our moments as well, though. He won a giant stuffed dog for me at one of the booths "to keep the other one company" he said. The other one being the giant stuffed bear he gave me for Valentine's day two years ago. He and I also shared a giant mug of hot chocolate.We sat at a bench sipping the velvelty hot chocolate, enriched with whipped cream under strung lights that reminded me of the maze at school. As we sat, telling each other funny stories or talking about worries, calm music played through speakers all around the camp ground. He dipped his finger in the whipped cream and opened his mouth as if to tell me to do the same-- and I did. Moments later he was giggling to himself as I sat like an idiot with whipped cream on the tip of my nose."Hold still, pabo," he chuckled as he leaned in to kiss it off.I stuck my tongue out at him but secretly enjoyed it.But before I could pretend to be mad at him, Taecyeon came over with Joy to the bench to talk to us."Where did you guys just come from?" Chansung laughed."Oh... uh..." Joy shyly looked around, biting her lip.I knew exactly what that meant. My eyes shifted to Taecyeon to read his expressions, perhaps his mind, but I couldn't. He looked as happy has he seemed.He seemed... so distant.My heart sank in my chest as I tried to figure out what was happening. Was this reality? Were Taecyeon and I really separating ourselves and dating other people? No, it can't be. I waited to wake up, but it never happened.When Taec and Chansung went off to get more tea, I was left alone with Joy."So..." she giggled."So." I smiled back."Okay, between us girls," she looked around to see if anyone was eavesdropping, "he's soooo good."In my mind, I was glaring at her and rolling my eyes, but in real life, I had to remain calm and hit her hard with something more mature, "Yeah, I know. We did some pretty crazy things when we were together...""Oh, I'm sure nothing as crazy as what he and I just did," she giggled to herself, "oops, sorry. I tend to overshare.""It's okay." No, it's not."Well anyways," she looked around us, then back to me, "You don't... still like him... do you?""No! Not at all," I lied, "I'm with Chansung. That's not right.."She giggled, "Just making sure."Bitch."You know, we should definitely keep going on these double-dates; they're so much fun! Just imagine... when we're older and have kids, we can tell our kids that we've been going out like this for years and years!"Shut up."Taec and I are already planning on getting married after college," she smiled to herself, "Listen, I don't have very many girlfriends... so, when the time comes, and it'll be sooner than you think, would you mind being my maid-of-honor? I mean, you know Taec so well, and over time we'll grow to be best friends too!"Oh my God, please stop talking. "Yeah, sure." Why did I just say that."Thanks," she looked down at the ground, "The other day, he told me," she looked around us again to make sure that no one was listening, "that he was really happy that you're with Chansung now so that he and I could be together... and he wouldn't have to worry about you being heartbroken. I told him it would be no problem at all since you and Chansung looked like you were a match made in heaven together."This girl. Never. Stops. Talking."Isn't that sweet of him?""Yeah." I kept my anger and sadness levels down-- to the best of my abilities at least. "Tiffany, this movie sucks," a voice whispered, "Come on; let's go back to my dorm and do better things."His low voice shook me from my daydream and led me to imagine something sexual. I felt him kissing me on the cheek, then his hand on my chin, tilting it sideward so that he could kiss me on the lips. His tongue slipped into my mouth, slowly massaging mine into involvement.I pulled away, flustered. To be honest, I didn't quite catch on that it was Chansung kissing me until my brain started to kick back to reality again."Were you even watching the movie," he teased in a whisper."Yes, of course," I looked at the screen to see if I had missed much. Wow. I had no idea what the hell was going on."What just happened?""Well," I opened my mouth to continue the sentence... but nothing came out. I seriously had no clue."Come on; you know you hate this movie," he continued to whine."Ugh, fine."I caught a quick glance at Taecyeon and Joy sitting next to us.She was giggling as he continued to make quiet comments next to her.Wow. I'm going to go cry now.I grabbed my things and searched the dark for Chansung's hand. He saw me struggling and quickly grabbed my hand."Tiffany," an urgent whisper echoed.I turned around."You're leaving?!" Taecyeon half whispered-half spoke.I nodded, "I'll text you.. maybe.""Don't leave; we're going to get ice cream after this," he was blatantly not even trying to whisper anymore.A girl in front of us spun around and shushed us loudly.I made a face at her as she turned back around; bitch please, your shushes are louder than our talking, but I guess we were being a little rude."I'll buy you ice cream," he said, "Green tea flavored."My heart sank; I wanted to start sobbing on the spot."Please?" He gave me his puppy eyes.I was about to agree and sit back down, but Chansung quickly answered for me, "Sorry dude; we have our own plans." His hands snuck their way around my waist, he stood up behind me.Thank God we were sitting in the back row. Some twilight fan would've probably started a fight with us if we weren't."Babe, just let them go," she whispered to him, pulling him back to his seat.And so we left.As we trudged out of the movie theatre over mounds of snow, I kept my gaze on the ground. I felt my eyes welling up with tears."Hey," Chansung stopped me in our tracks, "What's wrong?"I widened my eyes and tried to eye-smile at him, "Nothing? Why would anything be wrong?""Tiff, don't lie," he held me by my shoulders, leaning in to take a closer look at my glossy eyes.Under the bright lights of the movie theater front, I was easily given away."Come on, we'll go get ice cream by ourselves," he said, sensing why I was suddenly about to cry.But I didn't budge. I stood there with tears spilling out of my eyes, wondering what I was to do. Forget about Taec? But how could I?He asked no more questions, but simply held me against his chest, letting my tears soak his jacket. Once my eyes were closed, the tears did not stop. My mind wandered.Chansung must've felt awkward and awful... because of me."Hey, why are you guys just standing out here?" a voice behind us called out.Chansung shrugged, "You guys decided to leave the movie, too?""Yeah, we realized that we were just wasting time that we could actually be spending together at a dumb movie," she giggled."Tiffany," I felt a hand on my back, "Are you okay?"Tightening my hug around Chansung's waist, I refused to let them see the condition I was in. My make-up must've been running down my face. Oh my God, I must have looked like Frankenstein's bride."She's fine," Chansung said, "Just tired."Taecyeon was unconvinced. I could tell by the silence."Tiff?" His hand still on my back."I'm fine," I managed to mumble with a stuffy nose and impaired mouth movements from being pressed against Chansung's jacket.His hand pulled my shoulder so that I spun around from Chansung's chest."No you're not," he said with a worried expression painted across his face, "You're not okay."I slid my fingers under my eyes to check for running make-up, only to realize I was wearing my super waterproof mascara today. Thank goodness.Joy looked lost; she seemed to be begging for his attention but knew he was doing something important."Come on," he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him, leaving Joy and Chansung behind us.What now, Taec? Why are you doing this? I thought that you would be happy with Joy, and that's why I let you go. I'm happy with Chansung, I really am. It's just that I get confused when you're there too. You're with Joy now; she's happy with you; just stop it.My mind suddenly went into speech-giving mode. It started writing a monologue which I was supposed to deliver to Taecyeon.Suddenly, I felt another hand on my free hand, pulling me back."No," Chansung said, "This stops here and now."-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------okay, I lied. I was too antsy to write this chapter b/c I actually knew where it was going ^___^I hope I'm still keeping your attention :3 I wouldn't want you guys to get bored (and please tell me if it is getting kind of boring)yay!!!!!@Mzjulieb2uty: thanks for the encouragement! ugh! I have so much work to do; writing this fic probably isn't the best idea... heh... what can I do, though. The stress of school makes me want to do other things haha. --yellowbee