[M] Crazy (1/1)

Looking up at him I couldnt bring my self to see his face right now because I knew what was there..His eyes had desire in them and I didnt mean to make this fire grow but, I sighed and went back to eating hoping to ignore what just happened. Yoseob let out a breath and was smiling as he ate, then he said"What was that about just now? Taekwoon?"Blinking I said "I just dont like messy faces, I didnt mean to invade your space like that...Im sorry"He smiled and said "I knew it, you like me dont you? You dont have say anything and I wont say anything either, truthfully just spending time with you is enough for me"Sighing I said something more and maybe I shouldnt have but being around him right now made it not hurt as much...."What if you want more one day from me then what I can give you? Will you just cast me aside and find someone else?"He reached across the table and touched my hand lightly and said"Id never push you to give me more then what you are comfortable with, I know you"Huffing  I pulled back and said "you know me huh? And tell me what is it exactly that you think you know about me"He looked down and said "your hurting, and someone hurt you long before I met you...Its a very old hurt and Im sorry someone hurt you, no one should ever hurt you all you need is just someone to love you"I couldnt disagree with him but I found myself tilting my head up and looking at him, how could he know so much about me like that? Is it that obvious that someone hurt me? Does it show on my face or something or is there just some sign that I carry with me that everyone else can see but I cant...Looking at him I said "and how would you fix it? do you think you can change me is that it? Well you cant no one can so dont even try" my words came out as a bark more then anything, he sat up so quickly like I had slapped him. Huffing at myself I said "Im sorry I didnt mean for it to come out like that, Ive just been...."I couldnt say the words, hurt by everyone out loud because I hate to admit it to anyone. Is wanting to love someone really so much to ask for? I tried with Ren but that didnt work out and then with N, and now with Suho even though it lasted a really long time...but I guess its not over yet is it? Or is this me giving up before I get hurt again....Yoseob said in a mild voice "You have been hurt, and its okay Im sorry I brought it up I didnt mean to upset you"My head jumped up and I looked at him and saw how upset he was thinking that he had upset me, it was really sweet of him to be worried like that and it made me wonder how much did he really care for me? Was it more then just a small crush, was he in love with me?I reached for his hand without thinking and said "It wasnt you that upset me, honest it wasnt...I just thought I was more difficult to read then that, I never realized that my emotions were like a open book free for anyone to notice"He touched my hand lightly making sure not to grab it or anything as he said "Its clear to me, but Ive been hurt too"Looking at him I smiled and said "Well lets finish our breakfast, and Yoseob?"He smiled and said "Yes Taekwoon?"I kind of liked it when he called me that honestly, it was different then just Leo...."Thank you, for being my friend"His face beamed and he said "No problem, anytime you need me I promise to be here. So are you going to come to the dinner next week? It wil be to celebrate the last performance of the musical, with free wine"Smiling at him I said "I think I will, and Im going to bring Suho with me is that going to be awkward for you though? If it is then I dont have to come"He shook his head and said "We are just friends and even though, I might want more then that I would never ever do anything to make you choose or pick besides I know your heart is with your boyfriend and thats just one more thing that I like about you. You are a good man, Taekwoon a hard man to find and a much harder man not to be attracted to"I felt myself blush, no one had ever put it to me that way in words before...saying that Im loyal does that mean that what Im doing right now with him isnt cheating? I mean I havnt kissed him or anything, but looking at him right now it made me wonder what kind of kisser he was. Was he the kind that would fall limp if I bent him over my arm, because he wasnt aggressive not in the least bit...N always kissed me like he was afraid, Im not saying he was a bad kisser but it was always out of fear never out of passion..Ren always kissed me like a dog and by that I mean he would slobber all over my face and it disgusted me after awhile, Im a man not a dog dont kiss me like one...my Suho kisses me like the world is ending, and always like he has missed me even if its just a day...he is a good kisser and I love kissing him..."Thank you for those words just now, you have no idea how much Ive longer for someone to say that to me"He blushed slightly and said "I didnt know you could blush, and I promise every word I have said is true and dont ever let anyone try to tell you otherwise"I nodded my head and said "This is fun you know? Sitting here with you like this, it makes me that much more grateful that you are in my life"He smiled a little more and said "and Im more grateful to be in your life, thank you for letting me be apart of it"We both went back to eating what was left of our food, then I noticed that this whole time people had been taking our pictures...just great I glanced at them and smiled a little and Yoseob said "I see them dont worry I will leave money for the bill, lets head out the back door" Nodding my head as a response, we quickly cleaned up our food making it easier for the waitress to clean up and left. I didnt even bother to look at the bill, and I dont like it when someone pays for my half. Maybe he will let me buy the tickets tonight for the movie, that is right I have a date? I guess you could call it that but nothing is going to happen so maybe its just a get together...I heard noise and we started walking faster into the back entrance of the parking garage, my stomach was so fully from breakfast so I wasnt as fast as normal. Once we were in the garage I could see some of the fans coming into it, good thing we were near the top but still, we have no way to get out and his fans are less...how do I put this, nice? Not all of them mind you just a few, and he knew their faces he huffed and said"come on, lets get to the car the seat folds down and I have a tarp that pulls over the back to hide things."Nodding my head I went with him to the car and he opened the back hatch and started working on the seat, sure enough the whole back seat folded down and then he started with the tarp. The sounds god louder and I turned to listen then I felt his hand pulling my into the car, I slipped and fell down landing on top of him with our faces inches from touching. I heard the hatch shut on its own and then I looked at him, both of us hidden under the dark tarp in the back of his car as the fans started to get closer. His breathing was coming out faster and faster in ragged bursts, and then I felt him against me.At first I didnt realize that I was on top of him but now he was starting to...get turned on my this and he let out a huff and said"Im so sorry, Im trying to calm down but its just so hard right now with you on top of me like this"Looking at him I could make out his facial features and for a moment I could have sworn he was my Suho. My hand went to the side of his face and gently stroked it once, his skin was softer then anything Ive ever felt and he let out a sigh and turned his face towards my hand. I heard the girls getting closer and I quickly put my hand over his mouth for a moment as they got closer to the car. His eyes locked onto mine and I said in  a whisper, they are close after they pass I promise to get off of you. He nodded and then I became more aware that my body was pressed tightly against his, and by tight I mean I could feel his hardness pressing into my stomach only because he is a lot smaller then myself.I could feel everything about him right now, his tight stomach, those cute legs, and even that boner that he was embarrassed about it for a moment it made me wonder something about men....the boner was annoying me to a point but I like boys dont I? Looking at him right now he was attractive but for a change it occurred to me that he was a male and no a female, but why is that the most important thing to me right now? The fans moved away from the car and left for the next floor I removed my hand from his mouth and he sighed and said"Leo your hand is..well its very close to something"I looked down and saw that my hand was on his side were his ribs are slowly running my thumb back and forth across the fabric of his shirt, when did my hand get there I wonder? I dont remember moving it, I stopped moving it and quickly climbed off of him and towards the back of the car. He slowly got up making sure to fix himself first then I said"Im sorry I really didnt mean to do that, I dont even know when my hand got there"He smiled and said "Its alright really it is, since the fans are gone do you want me to drive you home"I nodded and said "Yes please, I seemed to have embarrassed myself in front of you and I didnt mean to"He reached for my hand and touched the top of it and said "you dont ever have to apologize to me for anything, you didnt do anything wrong here we just fell down that way trying to hide"I sighed and said "I know we did....yes, please take me home"He felt good against me though was what I wanted to say but didnt, his body fit mine like Suho's did and even though it was a mistake did I plan it that way? My heart was beating so fast in my chest right now and thankfully that was the only thing that was beating, I needed a cold shower and time to clear my head...why is it that I think that the more Im around him the more dangerous this relationship might be, not for him but for me....do I like him? I wish I had a answer for that, this whole situation is Dangerous