Morning (1/1)

When they wake up, they notice the dorm blanket draped over their bodies.Shit.That means that one of the members saw them there, and it terrifies Jinki to no end.Shit.Jonghyun barely comprehends it before he feels cold air stinging his skin and he groans. He wakes up and sees Jinki. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks absolutely horrified. It hurts Jonghyun just before he notices the blanket. Quickly, he helps Jinki clean up the messed up room and hops into the shower.When Jinki hops in Jonghyun feels infuriated. But then Jinki turns his back and he's back to feeling tired, rushed and worried again.He cleans himself up and they silently leave the room.------------When they come down to the kitchen, they realize how early it is. The sun is just poking out, almost giving them the illusion that none of it ever happened - that it was just another argument of words. But Taemin is a bitch and crashes their little fantasy when he groans loudly from upstairs."Key, did you make anything yet?" he's mumbling, but stops short when he sees the two of them standing the kitchen awkwardly."Oh, you guys fought again, didn't you?" he asks.Jinki looks up at him, sort of annoyed and relieved at the same time."Yeah," he grumbles. "Milk?""You know, you two always do this. You fight for a little bit and then you guys forget it ever happened. It's kind of funny really.""Milk?""....yeah."Taemin leaves the kitchen. But not before whispering a small sorry in Jinki's ear. It was so quiet he nearly misses it.---------------When they go to practice, they find that it's closed for remodeling. Jinki holds back his excitement as he runs into his room. It's rare to get a good sleep during the end of promotions and he's going to make the best out of it. He flops onto his mattress and sighs as he feels his back relaxing. And he closes his eyes.But he doesn't sleep.He can't sleep.His body allows it. His mind almost does. His heart does as well. But he can't. He can't do it.He can't do it - he can't do it because of Jonghyun. He can't do the things he loves most because of Jonghyun.He can't sleep - he can't interact - he can't love because he can't love Jonghyun and he can't love without him.And it's so damn frustrating and it takes toll of him so much because he wants to be normal. He just wants to get married to someone who he meets out of the need for marriage, he wants to love and cherish them, he wants to trust and build a family with them but they aren't Jonghyun when they need to be.And he wants to be business partners with someone he can lean on and trust, he wants them to depend on him with their trust, and he wants someone who is with them and who he knows won't send him rocketing across his room out of fury.But he can't do that because of Jonghyun.And he can't sleep because of Jonghyun.But Jonghyun is cruel to him too. Jonghyun won't let him love, won't let him work, won't let him live happily.But Jonghyun is nice enough to let him cry.