What happens now (1/1)

I walked through my apartment and through the dark automatically. I felt numb as I noticed the silence around me, but there was a presence behind me and turned around. Seunghyun flipped on the light and I looked at his sad features. I felt anger wash over me and stared back."Are you okay?"Hearing those words from his mouth made it worse, "Do I look okay!"Seunghyun closed his eyes as I walked over to him and asked again, "Do I look okay??"As soon as he open his eyes to look at me with those dork orbs of his I couldn't control myself and raised my hand. I slapped him hard across his face, his head snapped to the left and he hissed angrily. I glared at him as he bit his lip and looked into my eyes, "Don't ever-"I slapped him again and inhaled sharply when he grabbed both of my wrists and pressed me against the wall, I looked at my hands on either side of my head. I then glared at him defiantly as he leaned down close to me face, "Don't ever hit me again.""Fuck you." I spat and struggled against him. When he didn't release me I noticed the way I was breathing so heavily. I looked through his eyes and could see my own anger in them. His eyes searching mine as he brought his head closer to mine and after hearing his soft groan of passion, claimed my lips. I my own passion  blaze through my anger and Seunghyun let go of my wrists to lift me into his arms. I gasped against his mouth as he pressed me roughly to the wall,my hands reaching into his soft hair. I tugged to make him groan and he did ever to pleasurably causing my own excitement. I felt my breath pull from my lungs as he tore me from the wall to toss me to the bed. I bounced and backed away towards the pillows. I looked at him as he threw he coat at the wall violently my chest rose and fell with rapid anticipation. Seunghyun climbed on the bed, moving over me as he claimed my lips in another bruising kiss. I struggled to keep up and became dizzy, falling back into my pillow. Seunghyun reached into my shirt to grope my breast. I gasped at his roughness and broke our kiss. Seunghyun  looked at me, breathless and his eyes softened at seeing tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry..." He pulled me forward into his arms, "Baby I'm so sorry..."I sobbed into his chest, "Oh god... Oh god! She's gone! She's really gone! My baby!"  Seunghyun was helpless to comfort me and could only fight against his own sobs as he listened to me crying so hard. We stayed laying like that until we lay down and eventually fell asleep, Seunghyun never let me out of his protective embrace.~Seunghyun made funeral arrangements in Korea and YG was planning for a press conference on our return. The only comfort on the plane was Seunghyun never letting go of my hand. My mother and sister were with us and my mother was so emotional I couldn't stop my tears. I felt so awful forcing them to fly across the world to a foreign country for our daughter's funeral. My sister was silent for the days that lead to the funeral. I had no words for us either.I looked in the mirror at how I looked. I wore a tight black dress and felt so ugly in it. as much make up as the put on my face, the curls in my long hair. I felt like it was disrespectful to my daughter's memory to dress up for things concerning her passing. Two girls came in and I saw them in the mirror as I began to stand at the sound of the door opening. "Miss? It's time to go wait." They bowed at me. I followed wordlessly and kept my head down. I only looked up at the feel of a large warm hand taking hold of mine. I looked up into Seunghyun's gentle eyes. Or T.O.P as he was going to be called once we get into the 'press conference'. Circus was more fitting. I looked at YG as he pulled our hands apart and spoke to quickly at TOP in Korean for me to understand. I frantically reached for Seunghyun as they pulled me an opposite way. Seunghyun shouted and tugged on his suit jacket as he cleared his throat when everyone froze.He walked over to me and took my hands in his, "I'm sorry. They are going to have you come in separately from me once I tell everyone about you and lay out the whole story..." "Story?" I asked sadly and searched his eyes. "YG wants me to lie a little." "Lie about what??" I pulled my hands away, "What should we lie about." Seunghyun sighed and looked at his feet briefly before looking back into my eyes, "The company wants me to leave out the part where you left me and just say it was a complicated pregnancy and the baby passed so we need time to grieve and sorry for not making our relationship public..."That was a lot to swallow but I noticed the way each staff members eyes were on my and I felt them so heavy, "Okay. I agree I guess. I don't want to risk you losing your job.... Say what ever you think is best and I'll be right behind you."  He wanted to smile but what was there to smile about? He hang his head and walked away from me. I stood frozen for  a moment and tried to get a hold of my broken heart before making my way to the other doors. ~I opened my eyes and sobbed, Seunghyun rolled over to wrap his arms around me."Today..."Seunghyun sighed, "I know. She needs to be put to rest. We have to let her go.""I don't want too..." I heard Seunghyun sniffle and wipe his cheek to the shoulder of my shirt. I turned around to see the tears in his eyes, "Can we live through this?" I asked him softly through tears. "Do you love me?" Came Seunghyun deep, broken voice. I looked into his eyes, "I love you." He smiled and closed his eyes to force back a sob as he pulled me closer, "Then we'll survive." ~I walked into the room and everyone stood. I kept my head down as I hid my tears. I looked up to see the tiny coffin and nearly fell. Seunghyun took hold of my waist and lowered my into my chair. I stared at the small coffin and felt my heart tear apart as I gripped fist fulls of my dress. My mother put her hand on my thigh and I looked at her. "I know our angel is in heaven. God would never let her wander from his arms." Her words made me sob and I lowered my head to rest on Seunghyun's shoulder. "I heard it was her fault the baby died. Do you see how thin she is? She must have starved herself to kill his baby. She's a demon..." I lifted my head and the sound of female voices whispering behind me."Look at her. She doesn't deserve our TOP... I bet he's only going to marry her because he got her pregnant...""She killed the baby..."I heard their whispers echoing in my head and cried out as I stood up. Seunghyun held his hands out after me as I moved in front of my baby's coffin, my hand ran over its smooth surface and I sobbed when the room fell silent. I now turned to lay eyes on my attackers, "How dare you all come here today! My baby was sick! That's why she was taken from me!! If I could I would take her place so that she could live out a wonderful life with her father! T-O-P!!" I looked at Seunghyun at last and his eyes desperately pleaded for me not to say it, "Our baby is dead... You don't have to marry me any more... Now you can be happier." I lifted my hands  wiping at my cheeks as I stepped forward to leave the room and stopped beside the group of fan girls, "You can have him you heartless whores!" My mother gasped and stood to follow me. I hoped silently those evil fan girls would know the same pain one day. Seunghyun hardened his face and stood to follow me after apologizing profusely.