Broken Vow Part 4 (1/2)

“Min, don’t avoid me. Please?” Hyukjae has been pestering him for the past three days. He was not prepared to face the man but their work has to come in between. He had been mingling with the other teachers, the new interns and of course the students anything but the guy. Sungmin had been to escape and it wasn't a tedious task to do so with Hyukjae. He had to.

Masaki would be with him from time to time, the kid, much to everyone’s surprise had been mingling with Sungmin more than he does with the rabbits in the garden. The old couple was pleased with the development as well and they thanked Sungmin for what had transpired. And he was as well, very much.

“I’m busy, Hyuk. Let’s talk some other time.” He told him for the umpteenth time. Honestly, Sungmin was growing pissed. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Hyukjae, not now, not tomorrow, or anytime soon. He despised that thought of reminiscing what had happened between them. It was all a mistake. He was scared and drunk… and stupid; and they all just accounted for his pain, more pain.

“Sungmin, please. You can’t avoid the fact that something did happen and I-”

“For goodness sake, Hyukjae! Shut up! I don’t care! I don’t want to hear any of it, just shut up and leave me alone.” He threw the box he was holding, all its content spluttering out. Thankfully, the classes were done and all the kids had headed for their early dinner. The room was a mess and it was almost similar to what was Sungmin was feeling, dirty.

Hyukjae just stared at him, not moving a muscle. He could feel the stinging of tears that are about to drop any minute. He can’t. He can’t show him his feelings, he must stay composed.

“I’m sorry, Hyukjae.” He started, forcing conviction in his voice. “You know very well that I was drunk and you were too. We were both not in our proper minds and so we resulted into something we should not. That was all. It was a mistake, no strings attached. Nothing.”

He recited his words nonchalantly, diminishing any form of hurt or guilt that were pooling inside him. As soon as he was done with the short litany, he walked away, not even bothering to look back. What he felt has been said and done, Hyukjae would always be a friend to him, nothing more, nothing less.

He locked his room as soon as soon as he reached its secured confines. Rummaging through his bag, he plucked out a small pink notebook and a pen. Gathering all his emotions, his feelings that were kept for the past days and he finally let them all out, allowing the tears to finally flow.

It was in the middle of the night when he heard soft knocks in his room. He was lying on his chest, his pen still in between his fingers, as he forced his half-awake self to sit up. The knocking became a bit louder. Wanting it all to stop, he pushed himself up from the tatami mat and walked lazily to the door. He was prepared to punch whatever ghost had disturbed him in his fitful sleep. Writing has always been an outlet, he murmured as he pushed the door open.

Masaki’s eyes were red, feeble fingers rubbing one eye and the other clutching a small stuffed tiger. Sungmin’s half-conscious mind suddenly snapped out when he saw the boy’s state, extending his arms as he encased the small body into his chest.

“What happened to you?”

“Mommy… dream…” was all Masaki was able to speak out as he sobbed harder than usual. He must’ve dreamt of his mother again, he had been having them lately. Sungmin had even tried to force Masaki’s roommates to cheer him up, but to no avail.

As the kid cried onto his arms, Sungmin pulled him up and brought him into his room, shutting it quietly behind him. He hushed the boy and whispered words of comfort but unfortunately, the sobs just became worse.

He heard him murmur words like “leaving, not good, mommy and Masaki”. He couldn’t help but just feel bad.

“Masaki, it’s alright. I’m here. I’m here.”

It took them almost an hour before the kid had finally calmed down, soft sobs still echoed from him but not as hard as earlier. He lulled the boy, gathering him into his arms as he hummed quietly, hoping the kid would fall asleep.

“Ma-chan is a good boy, mommy.” Masaki spoke ever so soft, his eyes closed. “Don’t leave Ma-chan, mommy.”

As soon as the cries died down and Masaki’s breathing evened, it was Sungmin’s turn to cry. He knew how hard it was for Masaki to be left alone, not knowing what he had done wrong. He knew the boy had just too much in life. He was crying so hard because he knew, somewhere across the seas, another heart feels so broken and lost, and this time, it was not Masaki’s mom’s fault, but his own.