Anger (1/1)

Anger |ˈaNGgər|(n) a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility    The sweet scent was no longer there. The bed was half crumpled. The toothbrush, shampoo, clothes, plushies, and the photos, they were not there. It was confusing, the feeling… It was confusing for Myungsoo at first, he was happy knowing Sungyeol thought of him so that he brought their photos with him, and he was sad, devastated to be honest, that Sungyeol brought their pictures with him. Away. With him. He was mad at first, mad at Sungyeol for leaving. He was crying at first, smelling the lingering scent of his lover. At first.  The empty spaces on the desk that belongs to the well-framed photos of them didn’t bother him any longer. The empty side of the bed didn’t sadden him any longer. The quietness didn’t anger him anymore. He’s still mad. Oh yes he does. To himself.  At times, when he got drunk or simply because of overly stressed. He would get mad and angry. He would dial Sungyeol’s number for the hundredth time and got the same message, that his number was no longer active. Then he would dial Sungjong’s and no answer he would get. He had gone to Sungyeol’s house only to find Mr. and Mrs. Lee telling him that he wasn’t there, he didn’t go home since that day… He had gone insane yelling and screaming that they lied, that Sungyeol was upstairs too coward to just go downstairs to meet him. And he had just barged upstairs only to find and empty room. No single trace of Sungyeol. Not even a simple note. Then again, he could feel his heart got ripped into pieces.     It was a one fine Sunday, exactly 6 months after that day. Myungsoo was just checking the mail, for the bills. When he found an envelope. And the scent, reminded him of Sungyeol.  “Hello?”“Woo hyun?”“This is he, what?!”“I got a letter.”“Oh yeah? Congratulation! Do we need to throw a party or something now?”“Woohyun-ah…”“Come on now Soo. I know we’ve been friends since forever. But I don’t really need to know every bills, mails or letters you get you ass.”“I think… I think it’s from Sungyeol.” Myungsoo could hear Woohyun sighed.“What do you mean by ‘I think’? It’s a letter; the sender name should be there. Or the stamp.”“There’s no sender name here.”“Okay… Then what makes you think it’s from him? He’s gone for months without leaving any words for fucksake.”“It smells like him.”“It…What?! You know what… You really are insane. Now you better open that fucking letter okay.”“I don’t want to.”“Tsk. Then why the hell are you calling me?”“I… I don’t know actually.”“You know what… You should open that letter. You don’t want to regret anything later. Now, I’ve got to go okay. Talk to you later. Bye.”  It took 2 hours 34minutes for him to finally read the letter. Myungsoo frowned at the writing. It was horrible. It looked like an elementary student wrote it.  Dear Soo,Well, I don’t know whether you can read it or not. I hope it’s still readable. I thought I would ask one of the nurses to write it down for me, but well… They have been telling me to write every single day. I used to have a pretty handwriting you know. Well, you do know… Since I’ve helped you with so many homeworks you had back then. Oh yes, anyway. I have been blabbering too much haven’t I? kekeke. So… What I have always wanted to say was, I am not sorry… For leaving you. Yes I’m not… I saw your pictures on the magazine earlier. I have been boosting about you to the nurses here about you taking photography major, and as only a sophomore student you’ve been working here and there. So yes, one of the nurses bought a magazine and showed me your name and your picture. So you finally got the pitch I suppose? The model was pretty. With her big blue doe eyes. But that boobs, my God that boobs. They turned you off didn’t they? (See, this is why I changed my mind about the nurse writing it for me.) You’re doing fine aren’t you? And that’s good. That’s great, even. And again, I am not sorry for leaving you if I can see your names being credited here and there. Well, I bet you wonder about me? You do, right? Kekeke. Well, I’ve been great, despite my stupid handwriting, now it looks like when I was 8 or 9. My skin is still as fair as before. I thought tan would suit me better but well, never get to try it. Kekeke kidding. So yeah… I’ve been good, and you’ve been good. I guess everything finally fall into place yes? I miss you though. I’ll write some more for you okay? Oh and Soo… Please, don’t try to find me… You won’t find me. I love you. Yours truly,Yeol.  And once again, all hell breaks loose. Myungsoo throwing stuffs ended up crying, sobbing, and screaming in pain. Knowing the reason behind that childlike handwriting.      His Sungyeol is dying.