Two. *Rated M for crude language and sexual references.
Is that the cute blond from Kibum’s party?!?!?!? Shit, bro, you scored.-Jonghyun I didn’t.-Minho WHAT. Did he say no?-Jonghyun Not really. But he didn’t give me a yes either.-Minho Sounds fun.-Jonghyun Not really, no.-Minho C’mon, Min. You’ve conquered Krystal Jung before, you can handle this one.-Jonghyun Hopefully.-Minho * Your closet smells like moth balls.-Kibum Why the fuck are you in my closet.-Taemin I needed to borrow that ultra sexy ripped jeans Jungmo hyung gave you.-Kibum Why.-Taemin I have a date.-Kibum With who.-Taemin Why does it matter? Where is it!!-Kibum It does because I thought you were sleeping with Jinki hyung.-Taemin I did. You did, too.-Kibum He likes you.-Taemin Who doesn’t?-Kibum I’m serious, hyung.-Taemin Shush. I found it. Bye, Tae, wish me luck.-Kibum * MINHO I HAVE NEWS.-Jonghyun GOOD NEWS.-Jonghyun IT’S EVEN BLONDIE-RELATED.-Jonghyun Spill.-Minho So apparently he’s best friends with Kibum.-Jonghyun I know. Kibum mentioned it to me.-Minho Oh. Well then.-Jonghyun Speaking of, Kibum’s really hot, isn’t he?-Jonghyun If you’re into crazy and boisterous, yes, I suppose.-Minho You say that like crazy is a bad thing.-Jonghyun * I thought you said Kibum is single.-Jinki He is.-Taemin I saw him with Kim Jonghyun this afternoon. In a coffee shop. It was very PG.-Jinki I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, hyung.-Taemin Well from the looks of it, he’s obviously NOT single.-Jinki It’s just coffee.-Taemin Exactly.-Jinki I don’t get it.-Taemin It’s just coffee, but he looked like he was having fun.-Jinki That… well. Are you jealous?-Taemin I don’t know. Am I?-Jinki Guess we’ll see.-Taemin * I ran into Choi Minho just now.-Jinki I don’t see how this is relevant to anything at all.-Taemin Well, he has some very interesting things to say about you. He also wished luck upon you.-Jinki Good.-Taemin Wait, what does interesting means?-Taemin It means that he said things that intrigue me. Truly. If he was Music major, he would’ve written serenades about your cuticles.-Jinki Thank God he isn’t, then. What’s your point, hyung.-Taemin My point is he looks like he wants more than just bone you.-Jinki Like how you are with Kibum hyung?-Taemin Let’s not make this about me.-Jinki No, let’s. I saw your face earlier when Kibum hyung was talking to Jonghyun hyung.-Taemin Why are you calling him ‘hyung’? You two know each other?-Jinki He gave ME a handjob once in Jongin’s bathroom. I don’t think he remembers, though, he was drunk as shit. I don’t intend on reminding him either.-Taemin Why not? Was it bad?-Jinki He wanted to show off his biceps, hyung. I was lucky my dick didn’t fall off.-Taemin Ouch. Well. That’s good, I suppose.-Jinki What, the fact that I still have my dick intact?-Taemin No, the fact that I’m better at drunk-handjob than he is. It’s a relief.-Jinki Huh.-Taemin Good point.-Taemin Too bad Kibum’s more of a blowjob type.-Taemin Must you dim the only flicker of hope I have?-Jinki * That was fun.-Jonghyun I literally just pulled my left shoe off my foot, Jjong, can’t you wait.-Kibum I was excited, sorry. How many minutes is the appropriate wait again?-Jonghyun I thought you’re supposed to be the cool guy in this relationship?-Kibum Wow, we’re using the R word now?-Jonghyun I don’t know, are we?-Kibum Isn’t that a bit fast? I mean, we just had coffee and, you know. Just.-Jonghyun What? Are you backing off now?-Kibum What! No! No, that’s not what I meant at all, no.-Jonghyun We’ve had six ‘meet-ups’ in the span of three weeks. I was assuming that you were plenty interested in me.-Kibum I was! Am, really. It’s just, I’m not good with this relationship stuff.-Jonghyun Kibum?-Jonghyun Kibum, please. I’m sorry.-Jonghyun Babe?-Jonghyun Too far? Okay. Sorry.-Jonghyun Goodnight, Kibum.-Jonghyun * Thanks for today, I had fun.-Minho Don’t be a girl.-Taemin Right. Sorry.-Minho So, uh. You coming to Kyuhyun hyung’s party?-Minho Are you?-Taemin Yeah. Hyung would be mad if I don’t.-Minho Hm.-Taemin So…?-Minho I don’t know. We’ll see.-Taemin * Bummie, I’ve got two tickets to Guetta’s concert this Friday. Wanna go?-Jinki OH FUCK YES.-Kibum I’M GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT YOU JUST CALLED ME ‘BUMMIE’ BECAUSE GUETTA!!!!!!-Kibum Good. Great. I’ll pick you up on 7?-Jinki OF COURSE.-Kibum Dress up for me.-Jinki PSH. I’LL DRESS UP FOR GUETTA.-Kibum OK.-Jinki * GUESS WHAT-Kibum !!!!!!!!-Kibum Hyung, it’s 3 am.-Taemin I’M GOING TO GUETTA’S CONCERT TONIGHT!!!!!!!-Kibum I’m happy for you.-Taemin TONIGHT, TAE. OH GOD YOU HAVE TO COME TO MY APARTMENT LATER I NEED YOUR HELP-Kibum I’m literally the worst person to ask about fashion.-Taemin YES BUT YOU’LL STRAIGHT OUT TELL ME IF MY ASS LOOKS BIG-Kibum Damn right.-Taemin I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS-Kibum Uh-huh.-Taemin AREN’T YOU HAPPY FOR ME-Kibum I am.-Taemin AND ITS GOIN’ FAST ‘CAUSE I FEEL LIKE A SUPERSTAR-Kibum Hyung.-Taemin NOW WORK IT OUT-Kibum Ignoring you.-Taemin WORK HARD PLAY HARD WORK HARD PLAY HARD WE WORK HARD PLAY HARD-Kibum I will cut you.-Taemin KEEP PARTYING LIKE IT’S YOUR JOB-Kibum * Netflix and chill. My place. 8 PM.-Jonghyun Can’t. Guetta tonight.-Kibum Wait what-Jonghyun Jinki hyung got me a ticket to Guetta’s concert tonight.-Kibum Oh, well, if Jinki hyung got you the tickets.-Jonghyun Don’t use that tone on me.-Kibum What tone? We’re texting, there’s no tone.-Jonghyun Yes there is. You’re leering Jinki hyung’s name.-Kibum Whatever.-Jonghyun You’re an ass, you know that?-Kibum What’s new.-Jonghyun You know what? Maybe I should just ‘netflix and chill’ at Jinki hyung’s place. At least he’d know what he’s doing.-Kibum Do that, why don’t you. It won’t be new. I know you let him fuck you six ways to Sunday. That’s why he got you those tickets.-Jonghyun I hope you rot in hell.-Kibum * What the fuck did you say to Kibum.-Taemin What. Who the fuck is this.-Jonghyun Doesn’t matter, asshole, what did you say to him?-Taemin It’s none of your business.-Jonghyun It is too my business when my best friend is moping on what is supposed to be the best day of his life so far.-Taemin Shit, are you Lee Taemin?-Jonghyun Wait, he’s moping? Because of me? Really?-Jonghyun Congratulations, assface.-Taemin Look, it’s not like what you think.-Jonghyun I’m not thinking anything. Not one thing.-Taemin We’re not dating. He’s… I don’t know. He’s a free agent. He’s seeing Jinki.-Jonghyun …right. Of course.-Taemin What? What’s that supposed to mean?-Jonghyun Taemin?-Jonghyun TAEMIN-Jonghyun DOES HE LIKE ME OR WHAT-Jonghyun LEE TAEMIN-Jonghyun I hope you get run over by a truck-Jonghyun A/N: Jealousy will bring out the worst of your bitchiness, people, careful of it. It's a life lesson.