New York (1/1)

“You’re what?!” Taemin screeched. Gwiboon flinched and bowed her head. Jonghyun grabbed her hand under the table they were seated at and she squeezed it, grateful for his support. “Noona, what do you mean you’re going to New York for university?” Jongin finally chimed in. “Well, I decided to apply last fall and I got into their English program, so I don’t know. I’m just going,” at this she trailed off and finally looked up to meet Taemin’s intense gaze. She could read the anger and the hurt on his face and her stomach clenched with guilt. She could feel his frustration from across the table, the set of his shoulders and the thin line of his mouth telling her just how displeased he was that she had decided to tell him about her plans for college at a restaurant with both of their brothers present. “Noona got into a really great school and we are happy for her, aren’t we?” Jonghyun asked, lacing his words with emotion to demonstrate that they needed to be supportive. “No,” Taemin said. “I will not sit here and pretend to be happy for her.” Gwiboon closed her eyes, combating the urge to cry as the conflicting emotions washed over her. She was so happy to go to a prestigious US university but she was sad to have to leave her family behind, to leave Taemin behind. Especially now that they had finally become a couple. Finally allowed themselves to be happy together after years of flirting and teasing. Jonghyun tensed next to her and began telling Taemin and Jongin just how happy they should be and why they all needed to support her. Blah blah blah. Gwiboon had given him this same exact speech and had practically force-fed him every line in preparation for this conversation. Things had been going relatively smoothly for Gwiboon and Taemin. Taemin had seemed more at ease since they had finally consummated their relationship. However, it made Gwiboon uneasy because she knew what was coming. She knew that she was going to leave and would have to break his heart once again, and it killed her. It killed her to sit with him in her family room, cuddled up on the couch while they watched a movie. It killed her when he would lean in and kiss her or hold her hand when they went on an evening stroll. Taemin seemed so at ease with public displays of affection, but Gwiboon was self-conscious and felt as if the whole town knew about her secret. She had decided that she couldn’t tell Taemin, or anyone really, until she had at least told her parents and brother. However, the chance was taken from her when she retuned home after spending time with Taemin at the pool to find her mother sitting on the couch holding Gwiboon’s acceptance letter to New York University in her hand. “Your admissions officer called about tuition and processing your student visa,” was all she said. Raising an eyebrow to convey that she was extremely interested in what her daughter had to say. “Um…” was all that Gwiboon could come up with. That night had been a long night full of yelling and crying, from both ends. Jonghyun had been distraught when he had finally come home, an hour after Gwiboon and their mother had begun fighting. When her father had finally come home from another late shift at work, he had been her saving grace. “Yeobo, don’t pretend that you didn’t know Gwiboon-ah applied to that school.” Everyone stopped talking at that point. Gwiboon and Jonghyun both turned to their mother who had raised her head defiantly at her husband. “Fine. I knew. But it still doesn’t mean that she couldn’t have just told us from the beginning. Honestly, sneaking around like this. Aish! Were you even going to tell us!? Or were you just going to disappear?” Gwiboon finally allowed herself to hear the hurt in her mother’s voice and she immediately felt ashamed. “Eomma, I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t think I would get in!” “Don’t be silly, of course you got in!” At this, her mother came to sit next to her on the couch and wrapped her into a tight embrace. “Gwiboon-ah, they would have been stupid not to let such an excellent student into their school. Plus they want all of our money because you’ll be an international student! Those US schools love to take our money.” “Yeobo,” her father said warningly, feeling an inevitable rant come on. “Oh, hush.” She stuck her tongue out and everyone burst out laughing. Jonghyun finally stopped crying and declared that he was going to bed. Her mother looked over her shoulder, silently communicating with her husband that she needed to be alone with their daughter. He smiled and headed upstairs to their bedroom, turning off the lights on his way so that Gwiboon and her mother were left with only the lamp on. “Gwiboon-ah,” her mother whispered, resting her forehead against her daughter’s. “You know that you will be seen as Kibum when you have to leave this country. Your documents all say Kim Kibum and that you are male.” She anxiously looked into her daughter’s eyes and Gwiboon could feel the worry emanating from her pores. “I know,” she replied, just as softly. A tear escaped down her face as reality finally sunk in. She had known all along that her gender issues might become a problem when travelling and registering for classes. “Have you spoken with anyone at your school? Do they know?” “No. I applied using my birth name and information – I didn’t have a choice because of my government documents.” Gwiboon lets the truth wash over her and panic begins to set in. “You have to tell them, honey.” “I know, I just don’t know how. How do you explain what I am? What if they don’t let me come?” She voiced her biggest fear and looked up to meet her mother’s gaze. She only tsked and said, “If they decide not to let you go because of who you are, then you don’t need to go there anyway. You deserve only the best, never forget that.” ~ It was a huge relief for Gwiboon to now have everyone important in her life know that she was going to school in America. It was a huge disappointment that Taemin wasn’t being as supportive as she would have hoped from her long-time friend and now boyfriend. “Taemin-ah, come on.” She said. They had been having the same conversation for the past two days and it was beginning to wear on her patience. “No. Please just tell me what the hell you were thinking? Were you even going to tell me? I mean, what the fuck? You just conveniently forgot to mention that you would be leaving for New York in a month?!” “Yah!” She said, finally snapping at his angry tone and unnecessary swearing. “This is something I wanted to do, so I did it. I do not need your permission to do anything, thank you very much.” At this, Taemin invaded her space until there was barely any room between them. She felt his breath on her temple as he grabbed her arms possessively and shook her slightly. “You crazy girl! I love you! I’m not saying that you need my permission, I’m just saying that you could have at least done me the courtesy of telling me that you would be leaving the country!” “Tae, let me go. Now.” Immediately Taemin releases her, whispering a sorry as he takes a step back. “Taemin, when would have been a good time to tell you, exactly? Because I honestly have no idea.” “I don’t know, but god. Could you have at least told me when we were alone and not have your fucking brother there!? Or my brother.” At this Taemin pouted and Gwiboon felt her ire at his reaction slip a little bit. However, she was determined to get everything out in the air now and she quickly stomped down any feelings of forgiveness toward him. “Tae, I’m sorry. That was the only would I could think to tell you and not break down crying. Besides, Jonghyun insisted that he was there and you know how impossible it is to say no to his stupid puppy dog eyes.” Taemin nodded, knowing just the look she was referring to. What Gwiboon didn’t add, however, was that she had initially asked him to be there for her because she knew that she would need him, need his love and support to act as a buffer between herself and Taemin. It had been Jonghyun’s idea to invite Jongin to and make it a thing between friends instead of a couple’s moment. “So what? You’re just going and that’s it? No discussion?” Gwiboon froze slightly at Taemin’s tone. His entitled tone was really starting to piss her off and she had to fight now to hold back all of her anger as she replied, “We are discussing it. I’m telling you that I’m going to school in New York and you are telling me that you love me and will miss me greatly. At least that’s what you should be saying instead of throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler.” He scoffed at her, literally scoffed as if he couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Excuse me for not wanting my girlfriend to go abroad for four years!” “Tae, I know this isn’t the most idea situation but can’t you at least pretend to be happy for me?” “Pretend, huh? I don’t think I can, sorry. And I’m surprised that you would ask me to do that. You know how I feel about you. And I thought I knew how you felt about me.” Gwiboon tried to interject but he continued speaking, his voice rising in volume until he was almost yelling, “How can I pretend to be happy when you’re going to leave? How can you pretend that that will make everything better? Or is that it then? Have you actually been pretending this whole time? Do you not even care about me or my happiness?” She couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth and could only stare at him as he finished his tirade. Her hands were shaking and she could feel her heart breaking at the inevitability of this scenario. Standing up, she walked towards him and looked up until their gazes locked. His eyes were set in anger, in frustration at the situation, but Gwiboon reflected those feelings right back at him. Almost as if she wasn’t fully aware of what she was doing, she brought her right hand back and brought it across her body to slap him. Her hand hit his face so hard that there was a resounding “SLAP” that seemed to be held in the air between them as Gwiboon recoiled at her own actions and Taemin cried out in pain. “What the hell, Gwiboon?” “I’m sorry, I just, I don’t know what came over me.” He continued to rub at his cheek and Gwiboon felt a little guild wash over her as she watched the skin turn red before her eyes. Her hand stung but she ignored the pain in order to get out her thoughts. “Look, I’m sorry that this isn’t what you were expecting when you came home this summer. I wasn’t even expecting for us to get back together or become anything really, but here we are. This is the truth here and we have to deal with it.” Gwiboon took a deep breath, trying to find the nerve to finish what she needed to say. She was too caught up in the way that Taemin was standing before her, distractingly beautiful and hurt, too caught up in how she so desperately wanted this to go differently but knew that they couldn’t go back – she couldn’t go back. “But, I honestly don’t know what you were thinking when you started freaking out on me. Aren’t boyfriends supposed to be supportive? Aren’t they supposed to be happy when their best friend got into a really good school in the United States?! But no, all you can do is yell at me and try to control me.” Taemin raised his hand from his cheek as if to interject, but she only glared at him. “I don’t know what you were thinking when we became a couple, or whatever the fuck we are, but you had better believe that I will do whatever I want whenever I want. Just because I decided to let you in doesn’t mean that you own me.” “Gwiboon-ah, stop it, what are you even? That’s not-“ “Oh really? Isn’t that exactly what you were saying?” She stared him down, daring him to contradict her when they both knew exactly what he had been doing. Although they were recently a couple, or whatever, Gwiboon had known Taemin for a long time and knew just how possessive he could be with his friends. He had always been suspicious of new people whenever Gwiboon would go to the mall or meet up with friends outside of school. Taemin had always been the one to pull her close if they were with a group of their classmates and someone else was giving her a little too much attention. While Gwiboon had usually been grateful at the time, she would get weird looks from other people and Jonghyun had even mentioned it to her a time or two. The truth was, she knew exactly what Taemin was saying he needed and she hated the fact that she couldn’t give it to him. That she didn’t want to give it to him. “Taemin,” she said quietly, reaching out to take his hands in hers. “I’m sorry, but I can’t not go. I have to do this, for me. Can you understand that?” He gripped her hands and brought them to his chest, causing her to fall into him. Taemin’s breathing was labored and she could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest. “Gwiboon-ah, I’m sorry but I just can’t. I can’t think about what it will be like without you here.” She closed her eyes as the tears threatened to overwhelm her. Her heart broke as she looked back up at him and said what she needed to say, what they both needed to hear at this point. “Taemin-ah, I’m sorry but I don’t think we-“ her voice cracked but she swallowed her nerves down and pushed through her haywire emotions. “I think that when I go to New York, we should just be friends. It’s too much to ask of ourselves to stay more than that. I can’t give you what you need and I’m so sorry for that, but I need to do this. Please understand. Please…” But before she could say anything else, Taemin had released her hands and taken a few steps back. The look of utter disbelief and hurt on his face was enough to finally push her over the edge and she began to cry. “I’m sorry, Tae. I’m sorry, I just, I can’t-“ “Just stop,” he whispered, a hand held up to indicate that he was done. Gwiboon’s lips trembled as she tried to keep herself together but it was a lost cause as soon as Taemin turned around and walked off without a second glance. She fell to her knees and tried not to think about the scene she was making in the park, the same park she and Taemin had been to only a few weeks ago. A few people walked by until one finally stopped and asked her if she was okay. She nodded her head and tried to stand, a little wobbly but no worse for wear. Somehow she made it home and found herself crawling into Jonghyun’s empty bed, unwilling to be in her own room and needing the comfort of her brother even if he was out. She sighed into his pillows and pulled his black comforter over her to wrap herself in a cocoon. The dark ambiance in her brother’s room was soothing to her tattered emotions and she closed her eyes, willing the tears to stop and the pain to go away. Unable to stand the quiet any longer, she unlocked her phone and pressed number one on her speed dialing, waiting anxiously until someone answered. “Yoboseo?” Jonghyun answered happily in her ear. “J-jonghyun-ah,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out around her tears. “Noona? What’s wrong?” “Jongie, I can’t- I- Please come h-home,” was all she managed before another round of tears left her and she could only listen to him as he said goodbye to whomever he was with and told her to stay on the phone until he got home. She listened quietly to his voice as he whispered words of care and concern to her, reassuring her that he was indeed the right person to call. He always would be. Ten minutes later, Gwiboon heard the front door slam and her brother’s rushed footsteps as he climbed the stairs. She hear him enter her bedroom down the hall and then move back to the hallway when he noticed she wasn’t there. “Jonghyun-ah,” she called as he opened the door and finally hung up the phone. “Jonghyun-ah, I-“ “Sh,” he said, closing the door and moving to lay down beside her on the bed. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head, rocking her back and forth as silent tears rolled down her face. “I’m here,” he said, tightening his hold on her and moving so that he was leaning against the headboard and she was laying halfway on top of him, tucked into his side. “I’m here,” he continued to whisper as he stroked her hair, soothing her with his presence until she was finally able to drift off to sleep, content in the knowledge that he would always be there for her. ~ “The plane will be arriving at New York in 20 minutes, please stow all personal items and prepare for landing,” the voice announced over the speaker. Gwiboon looked out of the window and finally allowed herself to feel excited about the fact that she would soon be landing in New York. Leaving her family at airport security had been the hardest thing to do and she couldn’t believe that she had actually been able to pry Jonghyun off of her. Although Gwiboon was always the first to cry, her brother was just as big of a cry-baby as she was and had been inconsolable at the ticketing area. Her father had finally grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and forced him away. This had made Jonghyun only more upset and he had then turned to burry his face in his father’s chest. Their mother had patted his head lovingly before stepping forward to give Gwiboon one last hug and a kiss to the cheek before stepping back and wrapping an arm around Jonghyun so that together, they turned around and walked out of the airport doors. Gwiboon was surprised that she was able to staunch her tears and move towards the security line, which was depressingly long at this time of day. She fidgeted with her hat, which hid her bun and allowed her to hopefully pass as a boy. Her family had all agreed that to avoid confusion and any possible trouble, Gwiboon needed to dress like a boy, at least partially, to pass easily through airport security and customs. Jonghyun had protested the most but was finally subdued when Gwiboon had told him that she was afraid they wouldn’t let her go if she looked like a girl but all of her legal documents said that she was a boy. Finally on board, Jonghyun had helped her go through his closet, trying on outfit after outfit until they finally found something that Gwiboon felt comfortable in and didn’t show off her curves. Although her breasts weren’t that big, they still stood out in most of her brother’s clothes, which were tight fitting to his well-toned body. They had finally settled on a layered look with a plain gray t-shirt, a red plaid fleece, black skinny jeans, and a beret. Gwiboon couldn’t help but admire herself in the mirror as she finally saw what she would have actually looked like if she had stayed Kibum. Although the hormone treatments had stopped any facial hair from growing, her features were still somewhat angular unlike most other girls in her class. Also, her adam’s apple was a dead giveaway now that her hair was up and she was wearing baggier clothing that hid her femininity. “Damn, noona, you look good as a boy,” Jonghyun had said appreciatively, winking at her through the mirror. “I’m glad you aren’t a boy, otherwise I would have had some fierce competition for all the hotties!” Gwiboon laughed, hitting her brother for being stupid but pulling him in for a kiss on the cheek to show her appreciation for all of his help. “Are you sure you have to go, noona?” he asked, drawing her into a hug. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” she said, knowing just how hard their separation would be for both of them. “But we can Skype and talk all the time okay? We can get that Snapchat app and it will be like we’re not thousands of kilometers apart, I promise.” She squeezed him as he nodded and leaned into her so that she had to support both their weights. “Yah! Get off,” she laughed pushing him away and causing him to fall onto his bed. He only laughed and proceeded to drag her down with him, tickling her into submission for a cuddle session. As they lay on his bed, she couldn’t help but wonder just how on earth she would get by without him. ~ “Next!” the customs officer yelled, causing Gwiboon to grab her things and rush forward. “Passport?” the woman said, holding out her hand expectantly. Gwiboon slid her information under the glass partition that separated her and the TSA worker. She fidgeted with her hat and made sure that her flannel covered her fully. The custom’s officer asked her a series of questions and she tried to answer to the best of her ability, all while trying to keep her voice a bit lower than normal to ensure that she was playing the part of being Kim Kibum. “Welcome to New York!” the woman finally said, stamping Gwiboon’s (Kibum’s) passport and shouting out, “Next!” ~ “Um, I need to go New York University,” she said to the cab driver after finally reaching the front of the line outside of the airport. The driver took her bags and put them into the trunk before sliding into the driver’s seat. Gwiboon stood awkwardly beside the car, unsure whether she should sit in the front or the back. “Come on, dude, we don’t have all day!” the driver yelled, causing Gwiboon to jump. She scrambled to open the back door and slid in, barely shutting it behind her before the driver pulled away and into the bustling New York traffic. “Where exactly do you need to go on campus?” the driver asked, peering in the rearview mirror. Gwiboon brought out her instructions from NYU and read through the list until she found the address for her residence hall. “Brittany Hall,” she said, happy to have found the information. “What’s the address?” “Um…F-fifty five, east-uh ten street,” she responded, struggling to sound certain. Seemingly satisfied, the driver looked forward again and proceeded to navigate the complicated streets. Gwiboon put her seat belt on, afraid of the crazy way the car zoomed in and out of traffic. She couldn’t help but gasp as she finally got a look at the city and hurried to pull out her phone and take pictures, remembering to get a few on Snapchat for Jonghyun. Before she knew it the cab had parked and the driver was asking her for money. After handing over the correct amount, he continued to stare at her and cleared his throat. Gwiboon didn’t know what else he wanted and only stared back, afraid that he would yell at her. “Generally you also give a tip,” he said, eyeing her wallet patiently as if he was used to dealing with foreigners. “Oh, sorry!” she said, pulling another bill from her wallet and handing it over without really looking. “No, no. That’s too much. Just give me a five and we’ll call it good, okay?” She nodded and gratefully took back the $50 dollar bill she had originally given him and gave him the requested amount. Satisfied, the driver got out of the car and walked to the trunk where he began unloading Gwiboon’s luggage on the sidewalk. She grabbed her messenger bag and made sure she had everything before taking a deep breath and exiting the vehicle. “That’s everything. Have a great day, sir!” the driver said, waving over the car before climbing back into the driver’s seat and pulling away, lost in the melee of the yellow cabs before Gwiboon could say anything. Okay, she thought to herself. Now what? She pulled the instructions from the school out of her bag and read through the list. Now she had to report to her residence hall and find a “Resident Advisor,” whatever that was. Sighing, Gwiboon turned to face her humongous pile of luggage, which included two large suitcases and a carry on. How on earth was she supposed to get all of this inside? Panic began to set in but the only thing she could do was stand there, sweating under the hot sun. She looked up at the building that would her home for the next year and was about to put it back in her messenger bag when someone appeared in front of her saying, “Do you need help?” Startled, Gwiboon looked up and saw a young man smiling down at her. Her heart fluttered as she tried to translate what he had asked her. It was surprisingly hard to understand or speak English given how well she always did in school. “Yes, thank you,” she bowed her head and the man in front of her smiled, moving to grab stuff before heading toward the doors. She grabbed her other bags and followed him, grateful to have someone to help her. “Come on, the RAs are all at the center desk this week since it’s move in and all.” He led her up to a desk area where another smiling face greeted her. “Hello! Welcome to Brittany Hall! What’s your name?” The girl was very enthusiastic and Gwiboon smiled at her, taking note of her bright red hair and freckles. “Kim Gwiboon,” she said, happy to have finally understood everything perfectly. The woman typed something into her computer but frowned, “I don’t have anyone with the last name Gwiboon on our list?” “Oh, no. My last name is Kim.” Gwiboon rushed to say, embarrassed that she had forgotten to switch the order of her names. “How do you spell your first name?” “Um, G-W-I-B-“ Gwiboon stopped, heart beating quickly at her mistake. “No, I’m sorry. My name is Kibum. Kibum Kim. K-I-B-U-M,” she rushed, horrified at the confused look on the girl’s face. “Ah, here you are! You’re in room 706. It looks like your roommate has already moved in, too!” Gwiboon tried not to let her fear show as the girl continued talking to her, handing over a key and a residence hall manual. She knew that she was going to have to share a room with someone but she was afraid of how they would react when they found out that she wasn’t exactly who they were expecting. “Just come back down if you need anything or have any questions! Jinki should have your roommate contract and everything else you need, so you can just turn those in once you’ve gone through everything.” “Thank you,” she said before turning around to find the young man still standing there, patiently waiting for her. “7th floor, huh? That’s where I lived last year! The themed floors are the best, you’re lucky you got a spot.” Gwiboon nodded distractedly, biting her lip as they walked toward the elevators and waited to get in them. “So where are you from, Kibum?” Gwiboon’s head shot up at the question, heart pounding at the name. She wasn’t used to being called Kibum and within the last forty-eight hours she had only been called Kibum. She missed being Gwiboon, being herself, but she was almost there. (At least she hoped she was.) “South Korea,” she said, shifting slightly. “Really?! I’m Korean!” “Oh?” Gwiboon said, happy to have met a fellow Korean in such a short time in the city. “Where is your family from?” she asked in Korean, happy to once again speak her native tongue. “Sorry, I don’t speak Korean,” he laughed embarrassedly. “My mom was adopted from Korea and I’m really only half, but you know. Just thought it was cool.” Gwiboon nodded and grabbed her suitcases as the doors finally slid open. “Well, here ya go. I’ll see you around, yeah?” Gwiboon bowed, thanking him for his help and avoiding the question, not entirely sure how to tell him that he wouldn’t be seeing Kibum again. She turned towards her door, 706, and used the key to open it. The door swung open and she got her first glance of her new room. It was relatively large and had two beds, two desks, and two closets. One bed was already made and had random things strew across it. Gwiboon shuffled into the room and pushed her luggage to one side before going back for the rest of it. She was just about to close the door when a young man walked into the room. “Hey, you must be my roommate. Kibum, right?” he asked, looking over at Gwiboon. Gwiboon nodded and could only stare at the perfection of her roommate. He was Asian as well and had a great smile that was currently blinding her with its brightness. His eyes also crinkled up until they were crescents and she could no longer see them. Her stomach fluttered and she made to sit down on the empty bed. “Well, hey, I’m Jinki. You’re from Korea, right?” He asked this last question in Korean and Gwiboon nodded, unable to speak for fear of what the conversion was soon about to become. “Awesome! I’m obviously Korean too, how lucky are we? Where are you from? How old are you?” His excitement was endearing and she scooted back on her bed until she was leaning up against the wall, her legs tucked into her chest so that her head could rest on to of her knees. “Um, Daegu. And I’m 18, how about you?” “I’m from Seoul, although I’ve gone to school in the US since I started high school. I’m 19, so a year older than you. Let’s use informal speech though since we’re roommates and everything.” Silence settled over the room and Gwiboon continued to sit on her bed, unsure what to say next. “So, what-“ “I’m a girl!” Gwiboon found herself shouting before Jinki could finish asking her anything else. He blinked at her; unsure whether he should take her outburst seriously or not. “What?” “I, I mean, I’m not a girl. Well, I am, but I was born a boy even though I’m technically a girl. I-I mean, I’m… Um…” She stuttered, afraid that she wasn’t making any sense. Although it was nice to have a Korean roommate, she was worried that he would be more traditional and would be freaked out. While she had been speaking, Jinki had sat there patiently as if waiting for her to finish so he could try to understand. When she finally quieted, he stood up and came over to her bed. “So wait, are you a girl or a guy? I’m confused.” “Um, well I’m transgender. So I was born with male anatomy but I’m actually a girl, like mentally.” “Huh,” was all he said, looking down at her with a curious expression on his face. “Then why do you look like a dude?” “Oh!” Gwiboon said, reaching up to her hat and pulling it off. She took her bun out and let her hair fall down around her face, moving to take off her flannel. “Oh,” Jinki said as Kibum transformed before his eyes. He stepped back as if to study her some more, moving his eyes up and down her body while she sat there uncomfortably under his scrutiny. “So, what is your real name then if it’s not Kibum?” “I g-go by Gwiboon,” she said, unable to determine exactly what he was thinking at this point. She shifted again uncomfortably and he finally seemed to notice, clearing his throat and moving back to his own bed. Gwiboon ran her fingers through her hair nervously. “So, Gwiboon-ah, are you going to be okay rooming with a guy? Or…” Gwiboon looked up at his question, surprised by the thoughtfulness and unsure exactly how she felt about the situation. “I don’t really know, I guess. I mean, do they allow boys and girls to live together usually?” “Not sure, we might have to ask the RA. That is if you’re okay with that? I mean, do you want everyone to know you’re a girl? Or a guy/girl? Or whatever you said-“ “Transgender,” she said, smiling at the awkward way Jinki was handling the situation. It was surprisingly nice to have him be so chill and yet clearly uncomfortable with how to proceed. “Yeah, that.” “Honestly, I don’t really know. I mean, back home I’m just Gwiboon. But I had to be Kibum when coming here because of my passport… I don’t know how accepting people will be, you know?” “Yeah, I guess. I mean, if they’re not cool with it then that’s lame, but still. I get it.” Gwiboon nodded, biting her lip in thought as she mulled over what she wanted to do. Her mother had found her the LGBTQ office information online but she hadn’t reached out to them about her situation because she hadn’t known what they would say. A loud knock sounded on their door, causing the pair to jump before the door was burst wide open, slamming as it hit the wall. “Jinki-hyung! Where have you been? You said you would only be gone for like a minute, seriously.” Jinki shrugged at the intruder, who was clearly his friend and another Korean. The new guy turned toward Gwiboon and smiled widely, his lips spreading to show his pearly white teeth. Her breath caught at the sight while her stomach sank at the appearance of yet another beautiful boy that was currently in her room. What on earth was going on here? “Oh, I see, you were busy with a lady, hm?” he said, waggling his eyebrows at Jinki and winking. Jinki shook his head and looked to Gwiboon before glancing back at his friend warily. “Well aren’t you going to introduce us?” “Minho-goon, this is Gwiboon-ssi. Gwiboon-ssi, this is my annoying friend Choi Minho. He’s also 18 and speaks Korean, in case you were wondering.” Gwiboon smiled at that last part, appreciating Jinki’s humor as she bowed her head in greeting to Minho. He bowed back smiling widely as he sat down in one of the desk chairs and looked expectantly between the two, waiting for someone to say something. “So…” he said, clearly annoyed that Jinki still hadn’t told him exactly who Gwiboon was. Rolling his eyes and groaning, Jinki finally said, “Minho, this is Gwiboon. My roommate.” At this Minho’s smile faded and was replaced with a look of confusion. “But I thought you were rooming with some kid name Kibum.” “She is Kibum.” At this Minho looked back at Gwiboon who only smiled weakly at him. “Oh, okay. Well, whatever, are we still going to grab some pizza because I’m starving.” Jinki chuckled at his friend’s change in topic, glancing over at Gwiboon to shoot her an apologetic look before standing up. “Yes, you goon, we can go get pizza. Aish, don’t you think about anything other than food?” “Nope, not when I’m hungry. Let’s go already!” Just as the two boys were about to leave, Minho turned around and approached Gwiboon who was still sitting on her bed, now with her legs crossed and her hair pulled to one side of her neck. Minho stuck his hand out to her and she looked up at him, unsure what exactly he was doing. “Gwiboon-ssi, do you want to come with us to get some pizza?” he asked, smiling down at her. “Um…” she said, unsure whether she should go or not. She didn’t want Jinki to think she was a burden but she was terribly hungry since the only food she had that day had been airplane food. Her stomach gurgled its agreement and Gwiboon felt her face blush at the noise. Minho laughed and reached down, pulling her off her bed and towards the door. She extricated herself briefly to retrieve her wallet and flannel before meeting the boys in the hallway. “Alright, let’s go!” Minho said, waiting for Jinki to lead the way and allowing Gwiboon to go in front of him. After exiting the building, Gwiboon felt a light pressure on her back, steering her to the right and lingering to provide her with some direction. She looked over her shoulder to find Minho smiling down at her and winking. Gwiboon’s heart stuttered and she tried not to read too much into the action. Jinki led the way and Minho eventually moved away from her as he responded to something his friend had said. They eventually reached their destination and the three shuffled through the door and approached the counter to place their order. Gwiboon made sure to get a few more pictures on her phone and sent a selfie or two to Jonghyun via Snapchat before she allowed herself to fully enjoy her pizza. Minho and Jinki had dug in immediately and had all but demolished the entire first pizza while Gwiboon tentatively brought a cheesy slice to her mouth and took her first bite of New York pizza. The cheese melted in her mouth and she smiled, closing her eyes at the amazing taste. After finishing her bite, she opened her eyes and found Minho staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. They continued to stare at each other until Jinki cleared his throat, “Here’s to Gwiboon-ah’s first New York pizza experience! Welcome to New York! Jinki smiled at her when he finished and shoved another slice into his mouth. Gwiboon wasn’t sure how he was still hungry but smiled at the mess he was making with pizza sauce on his shirt and grease all over his face and hands. Minho leaned closer to her while Jinki was distracted and looked her in the eyes once again before his gaze glanced down to her lips and back up. “Welcome to New York, Gwiboon-ah.” She shivered at the way he caressed her name and felt herself blush at this attention. After what felt like minutes, he finally turned away and she allowed herself to breath again. She had a feeling she was going to really like New York.