Notice Me (1/1)

Seungder smut, angsty as hell idek---- It’s not like he has the right to be sad about it, let alone complain. The attention he got from others should be sufficient, he has no right to make an issue out of it, he’s stronger than that. He’s the oldest, the most responsible one, unbreakable and strong. Hell, he’s the reason that the rest hasn’t either killed each other or scandalized the whole group yet. But that doesn’t take away the fact that it hurts to be ignored, to be taken for granted, to be the one that’s always pushed to the back…There are many ways to make someone insecure about themselves. You don’t need a formula or a manual, you just need to push enough buttons so you know which are the most sensitive ones. And it’s not just like Cheon Doong merely knows which buttons are Seung Ho’s most sensitive ones. It’s not like he has figured that out and decided to just push them all just for kicks, no it’s not like that at all. It’s best to be described as Cheon Doong being everything that pushes Seung Ho’s buttons. Like he was personally designed to make the man feel like a limping blowfish in a sea full of beautiful mermaids: completely and totally unwanted, horribly insignificant. The occasional annoyed sigh, the hands that pushes him away from hugs, the common glare after he has fallen asleep again during the busy schedule, they all stain and he hates how he feels so ashamed afterwards.‘Not now, hyung…’always in that same voice.But that's not what causes him to have those extremely thick-clouds-all-around-you-moments where he really just wants to die and sees nothing but the ever annoyed Cheon Doong. No, what hurts the most are the times when there are no sigh or glares at all, only the cold-hearted absence of any recognition of his existence, only the ignoring of his voice and authority, when the younger boy sends stakes through his heart without knowing, just by being himself. But he always finds a way to get him out of his moods, since, honestly, he doesn’t have the right to be sad about it, let alone complain… ‘I hate this,’ he mouths into the damp skin of Cheon Doongs shoulder while his tears are dangerously close to falling. He probably didn’t hear, did he? No, it’s better if he didn’t hear. He listens carefully and there is no change in the tempo of the breathing, no sudden stop of movements. He comes to the realization that he is once again ignored and he shakes his head forcefully, overwhelmed by both gratitude and… he doesn’t know what that other feeling is, he has never known, it’s just always there when Cheon Doong’s around, like a thick blanket being pulled over him and the whole world just turns into a place without any appeal, anyplace to focus on, anything to love. Except for that boy, of course. Cheon Doong pulls out slowly, his eyes still closed, his face unreadable because of the darkness in the room.‘Hyung?’‘It’s nothing…’ Seung Ho grabs Cheon Doongs shoulders an places them against his cheek, trying to bury himself into the naked skin so the boy won’t see his embarrassed face. Cheon Doong grabs his chin and looks at him, the catlike eyes ramming themselves into Seung Ho’s gaze and leaving him breathless at their beauty. Should he go for it and kiss him? He’s never done it before. Should he try? He stares back at Cheon Doong while moving closer to him before he quickly pecks the boys lips and retreats, readying himself for the reaction. The younger man just looks at him with a straight face, no emotion, no nothing. Seung Ho hates this so much…‘Why did you do that?’ the younger man whispers slowly, his voice vibrates through Seung Ho’s body and creates a cool wind upon his face that smells like strawberries and tooth paste. Seung Ho shrugs, he feels like a fool. He shouldn’t have done it.‘I hate this.’ He thinks he repeats it in his head but he finds himself and Cheon Doong stiffening in shock at the sound of his own words. A heavy feeling in his stomach prevents him from speaking as suddenly he’s hot and cold at the same time and he can’t move his mouth anymore.‘What do you hate?’ Cheon Doong asks, eyeing him with suspicion. He traces a finger down the boy’s chest, convincing himself that being honest is the best way and that he should let him know how he feels. Convincing himself that he’s not just saying this because he’s selfish and bothered by his egocentric feeling of being a tool for this boy across from him and wants more, more than just a couple of meaningless touches and a panting release before pretending nothing happened again.‘Doing this…’ he fails to find the right description.‘Well, then maybe-’‘…without having you.’ The words remain hanging in between the two naked men in the bed and for the first time ever Seung Ho feels like something is changing in their dynamics. He feels how Cheon Doong is totally aware of him as the younger man tries to digest his words. He feels how Cheon Doong gets uneasy at his confession. He feels noticed. His heart had pushed him into the dark place he’s in now, so the confession and the effect it has on Cheon Doong… it would be a stiff lie to deny it made him light up a little. Cheon Doong scoops closer to him and brings his lips to Seung Ho’s without kissing them.‘You want me?’ Seung Ho’s mind goes blank, his eyes fly open, he feels nothing but the need to be closer to Cheon Doong.‘I need you,’ he states with his eyes shut, looking at his fists clenching the bed sheets underneath them. When had he grabbed them? When had he become the desperate mess he is now?‘Hyung..,’ Cheon Doong says while placing his hands underneath Seung Ho’s chin and forcing him to look up, ‘I’m right here.’ There are a few tugs and a couple of frustrated growl but they manage to get into the right position. Seung Ho’s legs are wrapped around Cheon Doongs waist right above his hips, and his arms are resting on the younger man’s shoulders. Cheon Doong is sitting straight up with Seung Ho on his lap, hovering over him while he pulls him closer into his kisses by the waist. There hadn’t been any room for foreplay or sweet talking, they needed to turn their confessions into actions. Seung Ho’s plump lips are leaving their marks on Cheon Doongs neck as the other man bends his long neck to give him access. There are moans coming from Cheon Doong that Seung Ho has never heard before, an eagerness in the boy’s movements that he hadn’t expected. He wants to show his gratitude by giving him what he wants, whatever he wants.‘Ohh,’ Cheon Doong merely mouths as he slowly digs further into Seung Ho, sweat forming at his forehead from his concentration. Seung Ho flinches at the rubbing pain and thuds his head into Cheon Doongs, looking him straight into the eyes as he pulls up a little, making the younger man moan in lust. Cheon Doong goes for his mouth and nibbles on one of his puffy lips while licking the part in between his teeth before pulling Seung Ho up again himself and slamming him down onto his cock.‘Harder,’ Seung Ho whispers before pulling his lips out from Cheon Doongs teeth and getting himself an actual kiss. Their tongues fight and press until finally Seung Ho is taking over Cheon Doongs mouth completely and grabbing his head with both his hands to intensify the kiss. The throbbing member inside of him is not moving at all, but how could Cheon Doong possibly move at the passion of the movements of Seung Ho’s tongue and lips? Cheon Doong must’ve felt how much it meant to his leader, this kiss, this position he’s in, this moment altogether, because he lets Seung Ho take advantage of his mouth without any regrets, clasping his waist even tighter with one arm and letting the other one wander over Seung Ho’s thighs and back. Seung Ho almost loses himself in the kiss if it’s not for the man that’s holding him to push his face away by kissing him with force and pulling back quickly. They look at each other for a minute before attacking each other’s bodies, Seung Ho biting and sucking on the sensitive skin on Cheon Doongs neck while Cheon Doong slams himself quickly in and out of the other man’s ass. Their first moan comes out in unison and Seung Ho hears Cheon Doong chuckle next to him. After that it’s a blur of pain, pleasure and kisses. Seung Ho is pushing himself up with his knees on the mattress and slams down at the same time Cheon Doong meets him with sharp thrusts of his hips, and this continues in a tempo so perfect it leaves Seung Ho muttering the sweetest and loveliest words into his lover’s ear.‘I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you my perfect Sang Hyun-ah…’Cheon Doong grabs Seung Ho’s back with one hand and leans back as he quickens his pace, grunting along with his long and hard thrusts as Seung Ho lets out a moan of pleasure. With his other hand he grabs hold of the neglected cock of his leader, thumbing the slit and pumping it at the same pace as his own thrusts. Seung Ho’s eyes fly open at the touch and he bites his lip, releasing another moan that makes Cheon Doong grunt even more and bury himself further into his lover’s ass. Seung Ho loves how Cheon Doong knows exactly where to find his prostate, from what angle he has to ram into him and at what speed. God, he loves quick fucks with Cheon Doong. His lips form a content smile as Cheon Doong starts muttering his name under his breath, kissing his nipples between moans and still jacking him off. He moves his ass around to feel the younger man deeper inside of him as Cheon Doong slams against his prostate once more, making him shiver and grabbing the neck of his lover even tighter before kissing him on the forehead repeatedly.‘Amazing…’ Cheon Doong mutters as he throws Seung Ho off of him onto the bed and finds a different position hastily. Seung Ho lets Cheon Doong place one of his legs over the younger man’s broad shoulder and wraps the other one around him as he hisses when he’s being entered from a different angle. Where he thought before he was in heaven, this sure was nirwana.‘So good…’ they sigh at the same time when Cheon Doong finds Seung Ho’s pulsating cock again and starts pumping it quickly with a saliva covered hand and Seung Ho enjoys the painful but perfect thrusts into his ass. A hot sensation is taking over his body and he knows he’s close to coming. Cheon Doong closes his eyes as he slams himself into his leader, holding Seung Ho’s leg close to him while he slaps their skin together and he only opens them from time to time to smile at his lover. Seung Ho is wriggling underneath him in pleasure, his hands either fisting the sheets or laying next to his body in submission to the enormous cock that is taking control over his body movements. He doesn’t need to do a thing, just lay there and let the painful pleasure being thrust into him by his lover. As Cheon Doong lets out a difficult growl he quickens his pace for the last time, now abusing Seung Ho’s hole without any mercy and no longer holding in his shouts as he screams Seung Ho's name repeatedly from the top of his lungs.‘Seung Ho, Seung Ho, Seung Ho, Seung Ho!’ it’s like he’s in a trance and Seung Ho feels his head bashing against the bedframe but doesn’t care as he himself starts to shake frantically at the speedy tugs on his cock. Cheon Doong moves his hand around Seung Ho’s cock so fast it makes Seung Ho unable to let anything but an incoherent humming coming from his lips and when he finally comes with a trembling shout, he almost collapses onto Seung Ho. Seung Ho steadies the younger man by pushing against his shoulders a little while he feels himself being filled up with Cheon Doongs cum and he tightens his walls around the cock to intensify the orgasm. Cheon Doong growls and keeps on pumping Seung Ho’s member while licking his nipples and thumbing his lips with his sweaty thumb. Seung Ho takes in the finger as he allows Cheon Doong to place his hot mouth over his cock and immediately starts fucking the boy’s throat, no longer able to keep it together. The moans coming from Cheon Doongs bobbing head and the way it vibrates all through his cock send him over the edge and he releases while screaming his name. Cheon Doong doesn’t move up until he has all of the older man inside of him and then eyes him lovingly before kissing his jawline. Seung Ho pants, looking at the ceiling as he tries to recover from what might just be the most intense love he has ever made.‘I’m sorry, hyung,’ Cheon Doong whispers while wrapping the blankets around them and pulling Seung Ho in for a hug that shows so much affection Seung Ho is left breathless once again. Seung Ho feels the lump in his throat immediately and curses himself for being the sentimental wuss that he is.‘For what..?’ he manages to get out. Cheon Doong looks at him with weary and sad eyes as he kisses him on the mouth, letting his tongue taste Seung Ho’s lips and nuzzling up against his leader’s body before closing his eyes. They stay like this for minutes, entangled in each other and the question still lingering in the air as their sleepy breaths become deeper and less frequent.‘For not noticing you…’ Cheon Doong sighs into Seung Ho’s neck before passing out. He fails to feel the tear that had come running from the corner of Seung Ho’s eye onto his nose.