Hope (1/1)

My very young heart tells me to always be there for you, to protect you; but it makes me sad. How am I supposed to do that? There is already someone out there who does these things. I am wondering; when you were not together with Sungyeol yet, why wouldn’t you give me a chance? A chance to prove my love to you. Why? I can do better than him. If only you gave me a chance to prove myself. If you only knew. Hah! How will you know? You never gave me a chance.Please. Just one chance. If you are not satisfied, if you will still like him, not me, fine. I will leave you alone. I will stop.You know how much I love you. Oh, well. I never told you. I never had the chance to tell you. Yet, I know you always knew I had feelings for you, that it is so obvious for you. I know you could see I am in love with you.Don’t be numb, please. It is hard for me. I am more than willing to give you everything. Everything you want. Everything you need. Everything you desire. To the best of my ability, I will give them to you. As long as I can, I will provide them to you.They say there is no harm in hoping. It may hurt. It may bring me joy. This time, I chose to be hopeful with these consequences.My friends say you feel something for me, too. Texting all night, till three at dawn. One of my friends told me that you will not stay that late just to text me if there was nothing. That night, when we first exchanged messages, I used a different network from the one you use. You the charge was a bit expensive, but you kept on replying to my texts. I was so happy then. Those gave me the reason to hope – to hope that you have the same feelings I have for you.One more thing, you will not go out with me if you don’t want to be with me. Why did you say “yes” that night when I asked you to drink with me? It was already late at night, but you still came. I was overwhelmed when you told me I should eat something first before drinking. That time, I was new to drinking, but I was really frustrated that I did not even eat dinner. We drank and sang for hours. You even told me to stop drinking when you saw I’m already tipsy. So I decided to go home. You asked me where I was going because I told you I did not want to stay home. I already said my goodbye because I thought we will be parting ways already. I was shocked to see you walking by my side, saying you will walk me home. Joy overflowed in my heart and I felt a funny feeling in my stomach. We talked more while we walked. I got to my friend’s apartment and thanked you when you left. I texted you saying thank you again. Until you got home, we were still texting. Again, until three in the morning, we exchanged messages. We fell asleep and woke up late in the afternoon. We started texting again and well, till dawn.These things make me hopeful. But now, what happened? Why are you not texting me? Is it because of Sungyeol?I figured out, indeed it is.