5. (1/2)

Shinae is a shitty listener, but a good friend.

You haven’t even been able to explain to her properly about how Chanyeol didn’t actually “do it”, when she interrupts the plain dinner with a resolute, “This calls for a drinking session.” and hauls you to the nearest pub.

The place is just starting to warm up at 9:30 p.m, some chill-out music playing subtly in the background and voices low with the occasional boisterous laughter.

It’s not too bad.

You can do without the smell of cigarette smoke but other than that, it’s okay.  You think she picked the right place.

"So you’re gonna defend your virginity ‘til your wedding day?" She hands you a drink.

You swallow a lump before accepting the glass. How are you going to explain to her that your first time was already taken… by Kyungsoo?

"I just… I guess I’m not ready." You huff out before taking a swipe.  That’s, at least half the truth.

Recently, you’ve been feeling another emotion beneath all that hesitance.

It’s guilt.

Guilty because though Chanyeol has been giving his entire heart for you, you can’t seem to give the same back. The albatross clings on like a second skin, suffocating you whenever he comes close.

You don’t want to think of the reason, because that would mean facing whatever you’ve been trying to avoid all along.

But life has a way of screwing people up. Just when you’re about to take your third sip, the light on the stage comes on and a few people are moving around, fiddling with the keyboards and guitars.

"He’s on tonight, I see." Shinae nods at the stage.

"Who?"

She tilts her head and you follow her gaze.

And promptly froze.

It’s Kyungsoo.

You’re speechless for a second, and Shinae gives you an odd look.

"You mean you don’t know?"

Staring back, you ask, ”Know what?”

"That Kyungsoo’s been singing at this pub for the past two months. He’s really good. My colleague was rambling to me about it and I didn’t know it’s him until I came here last week."

Your gaze flits back to your best friend again. He’s dressed in a black long-sleeved sweater, dark blue jeans. His usual garb. But there’s something different about him that you can’t quite place your finger on at the moment.

And it makes your heart rate speed up a little.

What?

"What?" Shinae smacks you lightly on your thigh.

"What, what?" You snap back to see her questioning glance.

"Aren’t you gonna say hi or something?"

"I—" The words are stuck in your throat, and there’s a disconcerting feeling stirring in the pits of your stomach. You can sense the impending headache.

The question is broken by the sound of an “ah-ah, mic test”, his voice sweet and familiar. You’ve always known he’s got a fantastic voice, but it’s been quite some time since you’ve last heard it amplified, and it’s quickening the swirls in your stomach.

"Hello… I’m Kyungsoo…" He gestures to the two guys behind him. "And Seojun and Andy. We’ll be singing for you tonight."

There’s a decent amount of clapping here and there. Apparently Shinae’s right. He’s been earning himself some followers already.

"I hope you’ve had a great week, because mine sucks."

The crowd sniggers a little.

"We’ll open the night with a familiar number, are you ready?" He nods to his band and they gave him a thumbs-up.

The plinking of the piano runs in and he starts to sing Bruno Mars “When I am your man”, a song you’ve probably heard him belt out more than a few times during your noreabang sessions.

He sounds awesome and soulful as usual, the spotlight on him adding sort of an ethereal effect.

It’s beautiful.

You’ve never really seen him like that before, his presence almost always acting as a ground to hold you down.

But now, with him hoisted on a stage at a distance, seemingly unreachable, it both hurts and amazes you. Because you suddenly see him as more.

Much more.