Final Chapter: Never Say (1/1)

This is the Final Chappie. Keke. I wanted to shortened your furstrations so I wrapped everything up here. Hope you enjoy it!! ^^ I waited for the kids to pull away from his hug, and once they did, I called the two of them and clasped their hands tightly on mine. It was the day they came back from the trip, and as sad as it may seems, it’s also the day their parents had decided to officially part ways. The day Kyuhyun showed me the divorce papers, I found out that he had been thinking of that for months now. It hurts but I know I myself is the one to blame for him to be like that. And the way I acted when we supposed to fix everything once and for all is an enough basis for him to break apart from this marriage. It’s upsetting, I know everything can be prevented if only for my big mouth, insecurities and all my issues in life. We’ve talked to a lawyer and though he advised us to consult a psychologist or whoever who can help us so as to be sure that we both want this, we told him that we really do, and if he can fasten up the case the sooner, the better. Our parents were the first one to know, then our friends. Some of them weren’t in shock anymore, our relationship has been known to be a total train-wrecked during those times we’re seen quarrelling in public. We were a hopeless relationship, to the eyes of everyone around us. But not infront of our kids. Still, both of us didn’t have the courage to tell Taeyeon and Henry our pending separation. We haven’t signed the papers. But we agreed that we will once the kids were able to put up with the reality that the four of us won’t be living under the same roof anymore. We both concurred that the kids will be under my custody, on the condition that Kyuhyun were to see them whenever he wants and he’ll be the one taking care of them during weekends and holidays. Everything seemed to flow like it had been planned. And I was just like a leaf letting the stream take me wherever it wanted to. Because I have no rights to opposed. And I have been so numb to feel anything anymore. I ushered the kids inside the car I’ve got from my parents. Now that we will be living separately, I needed a vehicle of my own. Today will be the start of the trial for the kids. We will have them get used to of not seeing their father in the house anymore. On the coming weekend, Kyuhyun will take them with him on his apartment, but he once said he’s gonna look for a house soon so there will be a large space for Taeyeon and Henry to play around. The thought of him living on a different house, and maybe finding a new one and starting a family with her, stings. I entered the car without looking back.   I was greeted immediately by the questioning gazes of my children. Henry asked right away why Kyuhyun isn’t with us, he just remained standing infront of his car, waiting for us to leave. Taeyeon on the other hand seemed to understand a bit in her young mind, she didn’t say anything, just waiting for me to answer her brother back. “Appa will be going somewhere.”“Where? When is he coming home?”“When he finished what he’s doing.” I looked back at the steering wheel and started driving before they can ask for more. The moment I met Kyuhyun’s eyes as I passed by him, I was surprised on what I see in there. Sadness. Longing. Regret. I immediately break the gaze so as to prevent myself from crying. I could never cry infront of my children. I bit my lip as I heard Henry bid good bye to his father. And on how he said to me to tell Kyuhyun to come home immediately. I don’t have the heart to tell him his father won’t be coming home anymore. My little Taeyeon on the other hand just contains herself on looking at me. When I went to ask her what’s wrong, she only asked for me to smile. I stopped myself from bursting out into tears. In my mind, I think Taeyeon have understood what’s happening around her. She’s smart, she’s really Kyuhyun’s daughter after all. My heart flutters perceiving the fact that she’s growing up. My baby acts like a big girl now. And I wished I do have the understanding she has. As our drive went on, the kids fell asleep and I took the chance to stop and think what has happened in my married life. Literally and figuratively. I stared forlornly at the wedding ring once full of our promises of love and happiness for each other. Now all turn into a ‘has been’, just a memory. The embodiment that once vowed to be with each other for eternally won’t be happening. It all ends here.  ~ It was one afternoon when Taeyeon is still in school and Henry is at my mom’s. Kyuhyun had his day off and he told me to come over to his place for the papers to sign in. In the five weeks span that Taeyeon and Henry has been transferred from the house to Kyuhyun’s, they’ve actually get used to the set up and stopped asking questions anymore. Though there will be times Henry will ask why we can’t live in one house like before and I’m thankful enough for having Taeyeon who helps me distract his brother. She’s seven and she already had this kind of perceptive. If only I could inherit that trait of hers. I arrived at his place, the first time I’ve been in it actually and I noticed he had already put up a little play area near the living room. It isn’t that big, and I can see why Kyuhyun still wants to buy a house even if the apartment is good. Henry loves playing on spacious areas, and I know he wants to provide the best he can give to his son, to his kids. He showed me the kids’ room and I found a little study table, which I can perfectly imagine Taeyeon studying during the weekends. His place is good enough, I don’t wonder anymore why Henry misses it during weekdays. I sat on the living room as he prepares some tea and biscuits. As soon as he had served it to me, he immediately went to his room and I definitely know what’s he’s going to get there. I keep my eyes straight and waited for him to reappear and when he did, he already had the papers. “Uhmm, so the lawyer already hand me this two days ago. I couldn’t take care of it because of work, but now I guess will be the right time. We just need to sign it and then file, and then it’s…”“Over.”, I supplied.At the corner of my eye I saw him stared at me for a while before nodding. “Y-yeah. It’s over.”, he said and I felt my mouth dried up. I gulped the remnants of my tea and put it back on the tray. I reach for the papers to read its contents although I don’t really try to understand every word in it. I glance at the bottom of it and smiled bitterly.“You’ve signed it.”, I said softly and he nodded once.“Yeah..”I smiled a little before going through the papers more. He has signed everything, not a single spot is missed. So we’re really gonna do this. “Are you sure it’ll be just this? I mean will there be a hearing or something?”, I asked.“No. Just signed it and it’ll be fine.”“Are you sure, I mean..”“You know, from the looks of it, it’s like you don’t want to sign it at all.”, he joked and I swear I’ve wanted to scream yes. Yes, I don’t want to. But all I could come up is a bitter smile, followed by an awkward laugh that had us both in silence.I placed the paper over the table and reached for my purse to grab a pen.“Where would I sign?”, I asked, not looking at him as I saw his finger pointed at the bottom right of the papers.“Just right in there, above your name, right next to mine.”, he instructed and I followed him. The first stroke of the pen in that divorce paper must be the hardest one I did in my life, harder than the first time I learned to write. It’s like signing a life sentence, a contract that will ensures you of a lifetime of pain and regret. I continued signing the papers agonizingly slowly and with a heavy heart. I don’t know but as much as possible I want to prolong the moment. For I know that when I finished it up to the last page, that’s it, it’s the end of our supposed to be happily ever after. I was currently signing the third page when I heard him.“You look good with that instructor by the way.”, he said out of the blue.“Excuse me?”, I raised my head to gaze at him.“You know, one of the teachers in Taeyeon’s school. Taeyeon had been constantly telling me about you being friends with one of the teachers. Uhm, I once check who he is and.. I saw you two.”“W-wait, hold on.. you went to Taeyeon’s school to check on me?”“Yes.. I mean no! No.”I frowned at him and he eyed me uncomfortably.“Well okay. I went so I could see the guy Taeyeon is talking about and I saw the two of you. You look.. good.”, he said and bit his lips.“And you think we’re going out or something like that?”, a silly smile crept on my face.“Well you tend to tuck your hair in your ear and smiles a lot when you’re flirting..”“Yaa, who said we’re flirting?”He didn’t answer instead, he shrugged.“Come on, Mr. Shim and me are just friends. And we’re not flirting, we’re just talking.”, I told him with a soft chuckle for him being incredulous, only to shut up at once when I saw his amused expression, followed by a face that screams melancholy. “Who’s the girl you’re flirting with earlier?”, I asked him when we met just before the staircase.“Flirting? What are you saying?”, he asked, tired and annoyed as he throw his suitcase on the couch.“I saw you! This afternoon when I took Taeyeon with me in your office because she suddenly wants to see you! But then I saw you flirting with this oh so pretty officemate I didn’t have the heart to disturb your courting!”, I said sarcastically and he eyed me like I’m from another world.“What flirting are you saying, we were just talking!”  I gulped as I try to shake the memory away. I have been so stupid. He doesn’t deserve someone like me. And so with one last page to sign, I hurriedly put my signature on it and handed him the paper back. That’s it. The end. There goes our forever..  ~ It was a Saturday morning. Kyuhyun came to picked up the kids since they’ll be staying with him for the weekend. My mom was currently dressing up the kids; she’ll be staying with me this weekend since I’ll be alone in the house. It was our fifth week of being divorced and I can see him doing just fine. He was able to find a place and he said he’s been starting to save up to pay for the loan. He has been promoted finally and he had celebrated it with the kids last weekend. I myself had found a new job and it only took four hours of my time so I can still do my role as a mother perfectly well. Our parents find it hard to accept our separation but then they know the two of us are old enough to make decisions of our own. Me and Kyuhyun remained friends. I guess it’s because we’re friends before everything of this happened that’s why even the love has gone away, the friendship remains. The two of us are happy even if things turn out like this. We are okay, we’re fine, and I guess I’m happy. All’s well that ends well. But of course, I’ve never been right. There are issues, questions, and as much as I tried to hide it, there are still feelings and memories wanted to take place once again. As Kyuhyun wai