"Jessica I love you." Taeyeon held my hand in hers, she looked softly and hopefully at me, laying her heart under my feet. I looked away and shook my head. "Taeyeon we cant."  I slipped my hand away from her hold. "Why not?"   "You are my best friend, you are practically my sister, I cant...We cant."  "We  can Sica, if Sunny and Sooyoung could, so could we." She tried to reason but I shook my head again.  "No," I yelled. "We cant."  I stood my ground.  "Okay,"  she said stepping back, I dare to glance at her and I regretted it immediately, she was crying, her eyes fluffy and red. She turned away from me. I watched her walking further away, my heart is shouting at me to stop her, everything in me is telling me to stop her, to accept her confession, to kiss her senseless but I didnt. And that was the last time I saw her. ~~~ They say, you can never know how much you love someone or something until you lose them. That saying is so much true, because I love Taeyeon more than the world  and beyond, more than my life, but I realized rather late. I let her down and let her go and now she returned to Seoul with a beautiful lady by her side and introduced her to us as her girlfriend.   My heart was cut out and smashed into a million pieces when she said that. I was angry. I was filled with mixed feelings of love, confusion and pain. But I was the one who pushed her away. I pushed her away, never imagining I would lose her. I was a fool.  How can I describe my heartbreak? How can I describe the excruciating pain, the endless longing, the sleepless nights? There are no words to describe how Im feeling.   ForewordI was craving some angsty, and I couldnt resist writting this, its short and will consist of only few chapters, 10 to be exact, so please enjoy and dont forget to tell me how you like it in the comment section. Love you!