I got the idea for this story after reading Annie1017s All I Want This Winter Is You i did get her permission to use her idea though its not completely like hers it does have some similarities to it.   One day Oh Hana goes to the mall and meets the cute Kim Hanuel who introduces her to her Handsome father Kim Joonmyun who happens to be one of Hanas brothers good friends. Will they fall in love? and what will happen after a fateful accident reviels an old family secret and what does Sehuns best friend  Luhan have to do with it?        ForewordOh Hana Kim Joonmyun (Suho) Kim HanuelOh Sehun LuhanEXO  poster made by poster shop just click on the banner to go to their shop :)     trailer made by:    kiss_xander23: No Lovekiss_xander23: No Love Title: 3/5   The title is a bit generic, its very common and so far in the story I fail to see why it is named that. Graphics: 5/5   The graphics are, I have to say, adorable. The picture for the girl, Hanuel, is adorable as well. Gives you an idea of what they look like. Plot: 15/20   The plot is nice, but the whole falling in love with a man who has a kid is overdone. Plus throwing the crazy ex in is a bit over the top. But I like the idea of having the man being her brothers friend, and then the brothers other friend being her oppa! Thats a pretty good twist in there.  Forward/Description: 13/15    For your description Ill give some advice. Flip it so the paragraph explaining the story is in the description box, above all the pictures which can be put in the forward box. And shrink the pictures a bit, theyre really big and its a lot to scroll through.  Grammar: 14/15   Your grammar was good! Except for a mistake that was repeated! Seen and saw. You write seen when it should have been written as saw. Seen is past tense, and the rest of the sentence is in present tense. Also, I noticed you write "He said" and "She said" a lot, and for a reader that gets kind of boring. You should add other things. If they are shocked you could write "She gasped" or if they are angry or irritated you could use the words "mutter" or "grumble". Switch it up a bit!  Characterization: 10/15   You fly through the story and theres not much time where you seem to slow down and let us look at the characters. We want to know who they are, what theyre like. Their thought processes and how things seem to affect them! They all seem to have the same personality, except for Hanuel.  Consistency: 8/15    The story didnt seem to have much consistency. For one, in the second chapter after they just met Hana and Suho are kissing? And not long later theyre confessing? What? And then right after that a random lady attacks her and so on-? I admit its a good set up for everything to happen. But you may want to add some more detail to their dates, their thoughts. Have them get to know each other. Then have the lady attack, and attack with what? How did the attack injure her liver? Readers like details to these things. So just add some in and your story is sure to pop! Overall enjoyment: 4/5   To tell you the honest truth, I do like your story. And I do like how cute the idea is, but just a few more details and adding a few words other than said would sure make it more enjoyable. Plus, who doesnt like a story with a cute little girl and an appa Suho?                                                                                                              Total: 72/100                                                   Reviewed at Pastel Heaven Review shop