Chapter 7: Finding Clarit (1/1)

“Oh…” Seolhyun froze as soon as the manager panned into view when they turned to go upstairs. She started apologizing for her sudden disappearance and explaining where she went, but Hyejeong’s didn’t hear her: she was too preoccupied by the swirling maze of thoughts. Deep down her mind was a mess, and crammed full of thoughts and various types of explanations that were racing through her mind. Full chaos, to be precise. At last, all she felt was her hand being pulled by Seolhyun whom she followed automatically.

. . .

“This is it!” Seolhyun finally found the photo she’d been seeking out for nearly 10 minutes. Hyejeong came closer to have a better look: it was an old class photo, bringing a pleased smile on Seolhyun’s face as she pointed at herself.

“You were cute.” Hyejeong smiled as she observed the picture. The look on her face made Seolhyun laugh though; she definitely hadn’t recognized Seolhyun. She then pointed at two guys standing next to her. They looked really similar to each other and the resemblance was even stronger since they were standing side by side. ‘Identical twins…’ Hyejeong thought.

“This is the guy in the photo you found in my locker.” Seolhyun stated. The smile on her face suddenly disappeared, and she spoke in a low voice, staring at the old picture she was holding. “He was my best friend ever since the first grade, but… he asked me out shortly after I became a trainee.” She kept her voice low and spoke slowly to relay a sense of steadiness. “I refused, but he insisted… continued to put pressure on me, so I had no other option but to ask him to leave me alone.” she stopped abruptly and took a deep breath. “Do you remember the time I skipped trainings for about 2 weeks?”

Hyejeong nodded silently, her eyes fixed on Seolhyun, ready to listen.

“A month after this all... I was informed that he died of cancer he was diagnosed with.” It's never been easy to talk about something you try not to remember for a long time. Her eyes, as expected, shimmered with tears and she could feel the well filling up inside her, ready to overcome its wall. “He never told me… I felt so egoistic about not having gratified his last wish.. He always supported and encouraged me but I wasn’t there with him during his last days..” No matter how hard she tried to speak firmly, the river of emotion was at the tip of her throat.

Hyejeong noticed that, and she didn’t need to hear anything more. She clasped her arms around the other girl, pulling her in a loving and comforting embrace. With that one gesture of comfort, Seolhyun's defenses were lowered and the tension left her body, dropping her blood pressure. She felt overcome by the sense of "a shoulder to cry on" and lost control over her feelings, which allowed her to release her emotions more readily, getting it all out.

Once she felt better and could finally regain control over her emotions, she continued. “I went to visit his grave on that one day. Even though years passed, I still can’t believe he’s gone… He was young, alive, healthy…” Her desperate tone made her words almost inaudible, but Hyejeong was so concentrated that she had almost no difficulties understanding her. “On my way back, I saw his brother coming to visit him… He greeted me and thanked me for still remembering… He said nothing else, just went straight to his brother’s…” Seolhyun added. All this time, Hyejeong didn’t interrupt her and listened carefully, occasionally tightening the hugs to calm her down and whispering something comforting to her ears.  Guilt twisted her features, and she felt sorry for the way she treated Seolhyun unfairly now that she knew the story behind everything. Guilt has always been one of the worst emotions to handle, and it felt like the darkness was creeping in her, giving her some sort of nauseous feeling, doubled with a knot in her stomach like she owed an apology to Seolhyun.

“You’ve never told me about this, though...” she said dazzedly, when Seolhyun finished.

“Did I have to tell you the story of each of my friends?” Seolhyun chaffed. She rested her head on Hyejeong’s shoulder again and started caressing her hand. “I didn’t tell you about that day because you were already pressured and exhausted by the whole work. I didn’t want to bother you with my own drama.” Hyejeo