Chapter 16 (1/1)

“How did you…how did you figure it out?” Judy asked nervously.“Taeyeon… she didn’t—I don’t think she has any idea. I figured it out on my own, Judy.”The older Kim closed her eyes in relief and nodded.“And you’re just confirming your hunch?”“Yes.”Jessica poured coffee over two mugs then sat down in front of Judy. A wave of guilt took over Jessica as she watched the woman silently, and then thought of her own mother. When she was a lot younger, Jessica dreamt of Jennifer to be what Judy was—rich, educated, and successful. Now that she had grown wiser, she regretted not telling her mother that was proud of her, despite the circumstances.Two women, with different paths, but it all boiled down to them being mothers wanting to protect their children the best way they could.It was mid-afternoon and Taeyeon was in a mall with Yuri as the former promised the latter some shopping/bonding time. Jessica took the opportunity to speak with Judy about what transpired in the morning—barring intimate details.“It’s not too late to look for schools.” Jessica said in between carefully measured breaths as she scrolled through websites. “Taeyeon?”“I’m listening. I heard.” was the artist’s response. Sprawled all over Jessica’s bed, Taeyeon sighed heavily and stared intently at the ceiling. “Your room needs some color.”“Don’t change the subject, sweetheart.”The teenager sat up and tucked her legs between her thighs. “I’m not. I just don’t know how to respond to that, Sica. Why can’t I just… keep painting? Why do I need to be in a school?”The brunette turned around and looked pointedly at Taeyeon. “We’ve talked about this. You know why.”“Come here.” the younger girl ordered. Jessica complied immediately, walking across the room and crawling right into Taeyeon’s arms. Letting silence envelope the atmosphere for a few minute, Taeyeon forced herself to speak out. “Do you really think I won’t have direction if I don’t go to school?”“No, you know it’s not about that. Not anymore.” Jessica mumbled against the other girl’s chest. “It’s about you doing the best you can. You’re amazing, Taeyeon. It won’t hurt to learn more.”“If I don’t like it…”“Then you can drop out after the first semester. But you have got to at least try. I know you can be pig-headed, but just try, please?” When Taeyeon furrowed her brows in response, Jessica sat up and cupped the blonde girl’s face, forcing hazel eyes to look directly at her. “You can’t have your world revolve around me. You need to explore and expand your horizon.”“What’s school got to do with that?”“You’ll meet people just like you.”Taeyeon’s steely gaze faltered for a second.And with that, realization dawned into Jessica.“What’s making you so scared, Taeyeon?”“Nothing. I just really…” The artist paused and shook her head. Smiling ruefully, she mumbled softly, “I don’t think… I’m good enough.”“You don’t think… you’re not good enough?” Jessica repeated with an incredulous expression.Taeyeon was fully clothed at that moment, but the way she hung her head low and her arms crossed around chest, she might have as well been stripped down to the bone in front of a stranger. “I admit I really have to learn more about visual art, but Taeyeon, you…you’ve had exhibits, your works are in an art gallery. You—people pay for your paintings.”The artist twisted her lips and shrugged. “We’re in Las Vegas. People know shit about art. I get featured once in a website, and they all think I’m the next best thing. They don’t know anything. They all just think and pretend they know. And because they can afford it, they grab it.”“That’s not true, and you know—okay, maybe a part of that is true.” the brunette conceded after seeing Taeyeon’s raised eyebrow. “But you will encounter so many rich, pretentious people anywhere, Taeyeon.”“Yeah, but you’d find more of them here per square meter than in any other city.”Jessica sighed, and then tried a different tactic by leaning close to Taeyeon’s ear. “Where’s that bravado I’ve always found sexy?”“Oh, it’s still here.” the younger girl chuckled softly. “I just… we’re in your bed,” she followed quickly with a pained expression. “I don’t… I didn’t feel the need to be… you know. My, uhm, therapist told me to not—to be more honest with myself and well… I thought you would want me to be more—”“I’m sorry. I do want you to.” Jessica interjected quickly. “I just… I’m genuinely surprised you think—”“I don’t want to find out. When… if I go to an art school, Jessica, you’re right. I will be with people like me. And—and I don’t… they’ll be better than me. Here, I’m good enough. It’s settled. But if I go somewhere else…”“Do you want to be somewhere else?”Taeyeon quirked her lips and life was brought back in her eyes.“I hate this place. I want to get out of here. Nothing here is real. Except you.”“But you’re afraid that you’re not good enough.”“Yeah…”“What if you are?”“I was never good enough for anything.”“Babe, you’re more than good for me. You’re also the best friend anyone can have. And you can ask Yuri to confirm it. I’m more than sure she will. What are you talking about, Taeyeon?”“I always… when compared to other people… like my mom, or…my sister. I mean, I’m not even—with Yuri. Dad only started noticing me when Taeri unnie died.”Jessica’s eyebrows became deeply knitted together. “What do you mean he only started noticing you when your sister died?”The artist exhaled loudly. “This whole talking thing, it exhausts me.” she lamented before puffing her cheeks.“Hey, you’re the one who keeps demanding for answers and honesty.” Jessica chuckled then poked Taeyeon’s cheek playfully. “Go talk, my lovely puffer fish.”“Okay.” Taeyeon nodded. “It’s kind of shallow. It’s just… when we were still all living together… Dad would—he was always busy, well still is, but yeah… the point of my story is, when he would come home late at night, he would always go to Taeri unnie’s room and say good night and I don’t know, he would stay there for about an hour—I guess to talk about her day. But he never did that to me.”Jessica was grateful that her head was still burrowed on Taeyeon’s chest as