-36- Its Hurt (1/2)

“ Key .. I ... ““ I hate you !! “ He turned to walked away but Amber quickly stops him. “ Wait ! Please .. I can explain. ““ Explain what ? By giving another lie ? “ She was stunned. Tears started to formed in her eyes and flown down her cheek just seconds after that. “ I never thought you're this cruel Amber. Did you having fun playing with my heart ? Is this your revenged for me ? Did you really happy seeing me hurt ? “ Key just cannot holding it anymore and just let his tears to fall down. Amber could feel the pain in her heart when she looked at Key's condition. “ What if I didn't find the book ? How long will you keep with these lies ? How long will you took Yoona away from my memory ? “ Amber couldn't say anything by that time. She just don't know how to defended herself.“ It must be really fun taking the advantage on my condition right ? Then you can laugh it off with our friends ! “  Every words that he says seems to painful to take but she just let him be. She knew that, he was hurts with what befall him and she want him to let all of his anger to her. She don't care as long as it will make him to feel better.  “ YAH ! DID YOU TAKE ME AS A FOOL ? TELL ME !! “ Key's sudden yelled had really made Amber startled and scared at the same time which made she to let his hands go.  Amber cried even more because of that. She had never felt this scared in her life and Key made she feels it at the first time. She didn't prepared to face this and she don't know how to explain the situation to Key either. She was wrong when she thought she can bare his tantrum at the first place. Her heart was more fragile than she had thought. She just wished her friends were there to help her.

Key get irritated when Amber just stood there with her head hung low and do nothing. At least he want Amber to defended herself and not letting him to go on shouting at her. He felt like everything that he says about her were the truth by the way how easy she is to take his rage.  “ You might took love as something that you can play off but I'm not Amber. I will devotes all my heart to the one that I love and this is what you gave me ? My heart were beating for you crazily and you just easily broke it into pieces ! Wow ! You're really amazing !! “  “ I had never thought I will fall for you but I was happy when it does. To think about it, my love for you are totally different from what I had for Yoona but you just ruined it. “ “ I'm sorry. “ She said in her cries but Key doesn't care for her apology. He was too angry at her. “ I don't know what have I done to you back then but don't you think you're being too mean to me with this ? And I can't understand why did you crying right now ? Aren't you supposed to happy looking at me like this ? This is what you want right ? “  He let his eyes to run at every inch of her face until it's fixated on her eyes which full of tears. He felt hurt with the sight but irritated at the same time.  “ Those tears are fake ... just like you. “  “ Stop it !! “ Amber unintentionally shouted at him which made Key to stunned but he is back to his self seconds after that. “ You're telling me that ? I'm going to tell you the same Amber ! Stop it ! Stop hurting my heart ! “  “ Let's end this. Just .. stay away from me. It's just only going to give me a pain when I see your face. “

[ Flashback ]

Key started to wander around her room to find the iPod and finally he spotted the gadget on top of the desk. He took the thing but then his feet felt like hitting on something. He bend down to looked at the thing and surprisingly it was a book. He took the book from the floor, “ This must had fell down. “  He placed the book on top of the desk and made his way towards the door but then he stop his track when he remembered back the book. He happened to read the tittle of the book which really made him curious about it.  * Yiyun's Love Journey ? Could it be her diary ? *  He thought this could be his only chance though he knew it was wrong to invade others' privacy but his curiosity had took controlled his minds. He walked back towards the desk before reached out for the book. He noticed that it was not an ordinary diary but it was a scrapbook.  “ Interesting ... “

That book was like a diary to Amber and she had written everything that happened in her life in there but mostly it was about the one that she love and herself. She had turned the diary into something that more interesting to be read by the decoration from pieces of color papers, she even added some pictures in it and there are some pages where she had included a few quotes in it.  Everything that revolves around her has been mentioned inside the book, one by one, right from the beginning until now. It was a miracle that Key able to remembered back his memory with Amber little by little through that book. She reminds him and at the same time told him on how both of them met, how did their relationship turned into frienemies, how frustrated she is whenever she had to face Key unstoppable mocking and teasing, how irritated she is whenever he managed to made her annoyed and pissed, how worried she felt when she realized that she had fall in love with her own frienemy and how hard she is to keep her feelings from his knowledge for years.  Key was expecting on how did both of them finally become a lover on the next page but it turned out to be something that is not even came crossed in his minds. He was surprised when he found that Yoona and he, himself actually a lover. He looked on the date and he was shocked because it happened back in 2011 which means a year ago.  His head started to get hurt whenever he continue to read the diary. He don't know why but it was really hard for him to remembered any of his moments with Yoona back then although with the help from Amber's stories. She had mentioned on how hurt she is when she found out that Key and Yoona were dating. She even wrote about their stories in Jeju where Key had told her personally that he was in a relationship back then.  She tells about their school trip where by that time Key and Yoona already announced their relationship to his friends. She did mentioned in there that she was hurts whenever she saw both of them but she can't do anything about it, she can't even move on even she really wants to because she can't just stop loving him. She even wrote on how hard she is enduring all the pains by herself but she was glad that most of the time whenever she burst into tears, Key was always there at the end to comforts her and she was grateful for that.

“ Is this what she meant the other day ? “ It suddenly reminds him about the thing that Amber had told him, “ She's someone that you treasure. “ “ Someone that I treasure in the formed of a lover ? “  He still couldn't get anything that she writes about Yoona and himself by that time so he decides to continue with the reading and once again Key were welcomed with a surprise when he read about his incidence. From that and afterwards, Key able to know on how Amber will spends her night just to keep him company through out his hospitalization period. But that's not the one for him to be surprised, it was something else.  It was when Amber wrote about Key's sudden memory loss and his misinterpretation about his relationship with Yoona and Amber. He gets to know that he was mistaken Amber as his girlfriend instead on Yoona. She wrote everything including the part that he's not supposed to know which is her deals with Yoona to be his virtual girlfriend just to prevent him to get frustrated because if he does, it will eventually harm his memory.  She even writes about how she become selfish as times goes by which end up makes her to used the chance that she has to be with Key as long as she can.

“ What .. what actually happen ? “ “ What's with all the deals with Yoona ? “  “ Mwo ? She only pretends to be my girlfriend the whole time ? “ “ Why did she do that to me ? “  “ Did she really love me ? But why did she have to do this if she does ? “ “ Then .. what about Yoona ? “  “ If you happen to remember back about us .. I want you to meet me right away and without hesitant. Will you do that ? “ Yoona's words keep on repeating in his minds which only worsen his headache.  “ Yoona .. “ “ Is that what she meant ? I .. I was .. belongs to Yoona and not Amber ? “  Key had a really hard time trying to recalled back everything that he had lost. He able to remembered only a little part of his moment with Yoona and remembered most of his moments with Amber which really caused him to be in a confusion.  “ Why does only Amber that I remembered if Yoona that I love ? “ “ Why can't I remember about Yoona ? “  “ How can I gain this memory if there's nothing that can help me remember about her. “  He thinks thoroughly until gets something that may be a help for him. He quickly dashed out the room with the iPod still on his right hand and he even brought the book along with him.

______  Kim's Mansion , ( Key's Bedroom )

He took everything out from the box that he found the other day and he was right, those stuff are something that was related to Yoona. He saw the two photo frames that was placed back side up at the first place and surprisingly both of it are his pictures with Yoona. One of it had a ' Pretty Doll ' written right next to Yoona's photo which reminds him back the card that he read back then where the sender were known as Pretty Doll.  “ Yoona is the pretty doll ? “  He took one of the photo album and go through all the pictures and he was not surprised right now when he saw only his and her pictures in it. The next thing that he saw is a little white box which revealed a silver ring when he opened it. He tried the ring out and was surprised with the fact that it was fit with his finger.

______ “ ARGGHHH !! “  Mrs Kim was awake with the sudden shouts from Key's room and she immediately woke her husband up before both of them hurriedly towards Key's room.  “ Kibum ? What's wrong ? “ She asked worriedly as she stepped into the room where she only finds Key crouching on his bed with a lot of stuff scattered around him. “ I .. I .. “They ran towards him to check on his condition with Mrs Kim doing her job as a mother to comforts her son. “ Kibum .. tell me .. what happen ? Are you sick ? “ Mr Kim asked in worried while looking at Key who whining in pain the whole time. “ My head hurt .. “  Mrs Kim's eyes captured the stuff that was scattered on his bed and her eyes widened when she realized that those are the stuff that she kept away from Key a couple of month ago since she don't want Key to feel pressured by looking at it. It will only made him to work his brain out just so that he will remember back about his girlfriend which only then can worsen his condition. She never thought Key will found that box since Key rarely going back to her house. But she was totally wrong about it and she felt really bad for her son.  “ Umma .. I think .. I remembered her .. “ “ Let's bring him to the hospital yeobeo. ““ No ! Listen .. I think I really remembered Yoona .. I think my memories has comeback. “ Key able to calm down after he said that. “ Yoona .. I remembered her. I remembered the accident .. I remembered everything. “ Both Mr and Mrs Kim were jaw dropped when they heard that and just stared at Key in shocked.“ Kibum ... how .. “

______ The pain in his head has subsides few minutes ago but Key just refused to go to the hospital and his parents just can't do anything about it since Key was being stubborn. They just let Key to rest in his room and both of them were always prepared if they need to bring Key to seek for a treatment.  “ Are you sure ? “Key just nodded before slowly shutting his eyes. His parents then leaved the room so that he can have his rest.  He couldn't able to sleep after that. His minds were still full of Yoona and Amber. He felt bad towards Yoona and he felt angry at Amber for lied to him the whole time, for made him believed that she loves him. He still can't figure out what's the reason for her to treat him that way. Is it for fun ? Is it really because of Yoona's favor ? Or is it because she really love him ? He can't thinks of anything that suits the best with their situation.  It was so complicated that sometimes made him to feel suffocated just to think about it. He tossed his body from side to side just to find any position that can makes him feels comfortable but it was useless. He was indeed restless by that time and he decides to listen to some music to ease his heart a bit or maybe that can help him to have some sleep. He turned to his right where he saw an iPod on top of the side table but it was not his, it was Amber's.  “ Amber ..”  He just remembered that Amber was still outside there waiting for him. He did a short thinking whether to meet her or not. He was hesitant with his decision. He don't want to meet her but he don't want to keep her waiting too. Just to think about her made his heart to be in pain but at the same he couldn't help but to feels worried for her. He knew that Amber is persistent with whatever that she did and when she told him she will wait for him, she will do it no matter what.

______  He saw her, sitting under the tree at her usual spot. He wants to turned back and walked away when he started to felt the anger all over him. He don't want to be mad at her but guess he just can't endure it. He tried his best to control himself but he just can't. The fact that Amber had lied to him were repeatedly playing in his minds. But, the truth is, he was actually hurt looking at her like that. She still waits for him no matter how cold the whether on that time.  He noticed that she kept on glancing at her watch and he knew that she was eagerly waiting for him. He couldn't believe, injust one night, everything will be changed. He don't want to bring that topic up but he just couldn't hold it anymore. He need her reasons badly. He need to understand why did she even have a heart to do that to him. He need an explanation on why she have to took Yoona away from his memory. He need Amber clarify the reason of her making him fall for her. And the most important thing is, he need to know whether she did or not love him.

<b style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif;font-size:16px;">[ End Of Flashback ]

“ I'm .. sorry .. “  It was almost like a whisper but surprisingly, Key still able to hears that but that doesn't stop him for continuing his steps, leading himself away from her. He was hoping for an explanation but at the end he only left out with disappointments. The fact that she just choose to stood there and willingly accepts every each of the tantrum that he gave really made him to feel even more hurt than he used to. He don't think he can continue with it anymore if Amber just choose to keep it by herself. It won't gave him any help either by that way.