Day 120. Unbearable. (1/1)

A/N.: go back to chapter 117-> triple update (skip 118, I swapped it with 117, made a mistake there^^)______________________________________ It was the first day of May, a day I usually liked.I don't know why I liked it back then, I don't even really remember a back then, but I can't like it now.I woke up with puffy, red eyes - at least I felt them being swollen and guessed the rest - and spent the rest of the day in bed.Thank god there was no uni today, I wouldn't have survived it.Taozi came over around midday.I wished he didn't."Hun-- H-hun?!"He stared at me with wide eyes and pulled me into a right hug. I didn't return it."What's wrong? Fuck, what happened? You haven't looked like this in forever?? Did you remember--"He cut himself off, not like I cared about remembering anything anyways.I just wanted to get out and away. Run and don't ever stop."He died.."I wasn't sure he heard me as he didn't say anything, but after he pushed me to lay down and he hugged me even tighter I knew he understood.He started to cry with me.He always was like this.He was a big crybaby beneath his tough looks and badass persona.He really wasn't a bad guy.Just misunderstood..And only I understood him.We cried for long hours and eventually ended up having slow, sweet sex. Just to feel each other, just to make us feel connected, closer, better and...Loved. Dear Diary,The day was horrible. I was just crying, then Zi came over and we cried together. He probably doesn't care much about Xiao Lu...but he cares about me and he hates to see me cry. I know I should try to talk to stalker boy, I should maybe comfort him because that dog meant a lot more to him than to me, but... I felt such a big connection to that dog..as if he had been my own.. I wished I could turn time back and get just one more day to spent with him..

Hope you're sleeping well, Xiao Lu..