fifty three (1/1)

Emma's POVI'm laying in bed, staring at my ceiling, feeling like an elephant has decided to plop itself down on my chest. There's a weight on my chest that refuses to let my lungs expand so I can breathe. I can't stop thinking. Analyzing. Every little moment I had with Kevin, had he figured out I liked him? Had I really deluded myself into thinking that I could be something more with Kevin? Had I really convinced myself that Kevin was different? That Kevin was one of the only guys who thought about something other than sex? I feel so stupid...I mean, how hard is it for guys to stop and consider how the girl feels? Actually, no. Girls. With an s. Plural. Any guy probably has more than one girl in his life, and guys need to think for a second how sleeping with one can ruin his relationship with the others! It's not that hard! Sweet Jesus...There's a tentative knock at the door. I grunt, giving the person permission to come in. The door opens, but I don't look to see who it is."Emma?" Seungri's voice asks nervously. I sit up, and turn around to face him, wondering what's wrong."Yeah? What's up Seungri?"Seungri takes a deep breath, before saying, "You know that I have to choose whether or not you stay or go, right? That I'm the tie-breaker?" I nod, Youngbae had explained this to me. "And you know that I have to make my choice soon, right?" I nod again, not sure where this is going. Seungri looks really stressed about whatever it is he's trying to tell me."Lee Seunghyun, spit it out!" I say, using his real name to catch his attention. "I promise I won't get mad or whatever."Seungri smiles, but then continues. "I want to know, before I make my decision, that if I say that you should go, that you won't flip, freak, or try to kill me and my firstborne son."I sigh. "Seungri... If I make you feel unsafe and insecure so much that you feel it would be best that I leave, you need to tell me to leave. I'm perfectly aware of how shitty I've been to you. You need to do what you think is best for your group. Not what you think will make me happy, or Youngbae happy, but what makes you feel safe and secure so that you can live your dream."Seungri looks at me with the most stressed and anxious puppy dog look I've ever recieved. "So you won't be mad at me if I want you to leave?"I choose my words carefully. "I'll understand if you want me to." Seungri is silent, and I feel like I have to say something more. "Seungri, you didn't ask to look after me. You didn't ask to have to put up with me and my tantrums, you didn't ask to go to that party and rough up Minhyun, you didn't ask for any of this. If you don't want to deal with it anymore, then don't. Send me home. I will completely and totally understand. You didn't have a choice before, but you do now. Choose what makes you happy."Seungri smiles, and holds his arms wide for a hug. I get off the bed and hug him. He squeezes tight, and whispers,"Thanks for helping me..."In answer, I kiss his cheek."Come on, let's go downstairs!" Seungri grabs my hand and leads me out of the room. "We're going to watch a movie!""Which movie?" I ask."Now and Forever!" Daesung cheers as we walk into the living room."Isn't that a chick flick?" I ask again, confused as to why grown men would want to watch it."Yes, and you happen to be of the 'chick' variety!" Youngbae sticks his tongue out. I roll my eyes."Then why are you watching it?" I wonder."We're competing." G-Dragon answers."We're going to see who can last the longest without crying!" Daesung explains. "I think Top hyung will lose. He's an emotional guy, under that tough rapper exterior." Top glares at Daesung, and Daesung spreads his fingers, sticks his thumbs to his temples, and waves his hand back and forth, sticking his tongue out."I think you'll cry, Daesung. We all know you're a cry-baby!" Top retorts. Daesung pouts, before turning to the TV. He's sitting on the floor, a bowl of popcorn resting on his lap. Seungri and I sit on the couch near the windows, and Youngbae and G-Dragon steal the other couch, leaving Top to choose between the chair and the floor. He chooses the chair. I look at him briefly before the movie starts, and am shocked to see the lack of hair on the side of his head. He notices me staring though, and looks sharply at me. I look away, blushing.I'm too distracted to watch the movie though. I keep thinking about Top, Kevin, Seungri, Youngbae, Minhyun. Dear God, when did my life revolve around boys?!! I shake my head, and force my mind to go blank, staring down the TV. This'll be a long movie...

____________________________I'm so horrible. How long has it been since I updated? UGHHHHH!!!! But here, early Christmas present! :PThis chapter, though short, is very important. WHAT WILL SEUNGRI CHOOSE???? Tell me what you think! Also, just for funnies, who do you guys think would actually lose? Who would cry first when watching a chick flick? Till next time!!! Love you all, I'm so lucky to have awesome readers like you!