forty nine (1/1)

Emma's POVTenth Grade, a few days after Emma saw Kevin and Jessica kissing (Reread chapter 41 if you're confused):I see Kevin walking down the hallway towards me. I know he's trying to get to me because he's looking straight at me. I immediately look around for a doorway I can duck into to hide. I don't want to face him yet. I can still see him kissing her when I close my eyes. This really shouldn't be getting to me this much.I've also been avoiding Billy, who I was sure that as soon as I saw him was going to go on about how I blew him off and stood him up. I'm not looking forward to that particular conversation. It's been a stressful couple of days. I can't wait for today to be over, though. I just want to collapse on my bed and sleep for an eternity. If I never wake up, it'll be too soon, that kind of thing. I haven't been getting much sleep.I'm so tired. Of everything. Of my mother's looks when I walk through the door, of her checking to see if I'm still in bed in the middle of the night, of trying to make it through life in a world that seems hell bent on making it difficult to even draw a breath sometimes. Is life always this hard, or does it magically get better a few years after high school? Or is it only hard for my people? My people, the crazies who were unfortunate enough to be left with the mental illnesses. Is it only this hard for us? I'm still struggling with my diagnosis. No one seems to take me seriously anymore. Now I'm just the crazy girl.I find a clump of students standing in front of the door leading to my history class. I squeeze in between them, and lean against the wall, hoping and praying that Kevin has lost sight of me. After three minutes of waiting with bated breath, I sink to the floor, sighing with relief. Only a few more periods to go, and then I'm home free.I stand up, and push back through the clump of students, turning to hurry to my next class. But I run into a wall of muscled chest. I look up, and find myself looking into Kevin's eyes."Hello Emma." Kevin greets me. "Why the fuck are you avoiding me?""I'm not avoiding you." I assure him weakly. "I just have to get to class before the bell rings."Kevin rolls his eyes. "Since when do you care about missing class?" I stayed quiet, and he continued as the other students rushed to their classes. "You don't. Now can I please hear why it is you're avoiding me?""I'm not!" I protest. In answer, Kevin takes out his phone, and turns the screen to me. Seven messages from him to me, none of them read."I also called you. Twice." Kevin says. I look away, blushing. "You call this not avoiding me?""I've been busy..." I mumble."Doing what?" Kevin asks, raising his eyebrows. I don't respond. "Exactly.""It's nothing. I promise. I'm sorry I avoided you." I apologize, edging away from him."No, it's not nothing! You don't ignore someone for no reason!" Kevin snapped."Kevin, I said I'm sorry!" I felt the waterworks start up a bit, and I forced myself not to cry. "I just got some stuff going on...""Sweetie, we all do." Kevin says with no sympathy. "That's why we have friends to help us through. Use them." I nod, and Kevin sighs and looks around for a second. "You wanna skip this class and go get an ice cream?" I smile and nod again. "Alright! Twisty's or Ben and Jerry's?""Twisty's!" I cheer, clapping my hands like a little girl. Kevin chuckles, and throws his arm around my shoulder, walking with me to the stairs leading down.

__________I walk arm and arm with Kevin, holding my ice cream in my other hand. I got a medium chocolate with rainbow sprinkles. Kevin and I were talking about nothing, just laughing at an inside joke as we walked up the school's driveway.Suddenly, someone calls for me. "Hey! Emma!" I don't even have to turn to look to know that it's Benny who's calling me. Kevin immediately stiffens, and takes his arm out of mine. I give him a sour look before he walks away, giving me an apologetic look.I sigh, and turn to face Billy as he jogs up to me. "Hey...""Shouldn't you be in class?" He asks when he reaches me."Shouldn't you?" I ask back. Billy gives me a stern look, and continues,"Why have you been avoiding me?" Billy asks the question I knew he was gonna ask. "What's going on? Why are you walking with Kevin?" I hesitate, trying to word my answer correctly. "Answer the first question first." Billy snaps."I'm sorry, Billy, there's just a lot of stuff going on right now." I answer."Stuff you couldn't tell me about? Why? Don't you trust me?" Billy's voice gets louder as he continues."Billy, I do trust you! But some things don't need to be shared, and this is one of those things!""No! You can always share with me! I want you to tell me everything, because I am here for you, always!""Billy, you're only here for me as long as I do what you say." I say quietly, but I look Billy in the eyes as I say it."What did you just say?" Billy growls, narrowing his eyes at me."If I talk to any guy other than you, you get possesive and angry for a few days." I start to explain. "If you text me and I don't immediately text you back, same deal. If you ask me to do something and I don't do it right away, or I say I'll do it in a few minutes, you get all pissy saying that I don't listen to you and that you're the one who's chosing to talk to me, not someone else, so the least I can do is listen when you tell me to do something." Billy blinks, and his face quickly contorts into an angry mask. "So, you're not always there for me. Only so long as I keep you happy.""I am the one who's talking to you! I am the one who's been keeping the others off your back!" Billy takes an intimidating step forward, glaring down at me."Well, I'd been managing on my own without you for years before I even knew you existed, so I don't need you to keep the others away!" I interrupt him, but he continues like I'd never spoken."I am the one who's trying to be your friend when everyone else wants to take you down!""I had friends way before you came along, buddy!""You owe me! You owe me good!" Billy is practically screaming now. "So you're going to listen to me when I tell you to do something, you're going to stay away from the people I tell you to, you're going to do exactly what I tell you!""I don't owe you anything!" I scream back. "You haven't done anything for me that I or my friends hadn't already been doing for years! You've done nothing! I don't need you! There is nothing that these kids can throw at me that I can't handle, with or without you! All you've really done is made things more stressful for me!!""Oh, you think I'm causing you stress?" Billy asks at a normal volume. "Oh baby, you don't know stress. You don't know half of what these kids can throw at you. But you will by the time I'm done! Trust me, you will..." With that, he turns on his heel and storms away, muttering loudly some odd threat or another.I breathe a sigh of relief as Billy walks away. It felt good to finally let it all out, but Billy's threats were a lingering worry in the back of my mind. But I turn around, and walk back into the school building, rushing to make it so I don't skip two classes in a row.

_______________________________Hmmm... So I didn't get the five comments I asked for...But no matter.What is to come! Maybe Emma will have another melt down, maybe she and Youngbae will have another fight... Or maybe, Seungri will make his decision!Lol can I have a couple of comments this time?And, am I to assume that you all agree with BigBangAngel in that you want the bonus chapter to be of Emma and Kevin as kids? Tell me which one you pick!