thirty seven (1/1)

Youngbae's POVOh my god, what have I done?That wasn't me, I tell myself, It can't have been me! I don't act like that!The room! The room was trashed! This was the room I found Emma in...She was lying on the bed, her dress bunched up around her hips.... Minhyun was hovering over her, placing butterfly kisses on her stomache.... Emma was letting out soft moans. Anger surges through me as I recall the scene.I pounded on the door, but not even I could hear it over the music. I tried the door knob, but it was locked. Top took a coin out of his pocket, and put in in the little bar on the knob. He turned the coin, and the door was unlocked. I opened the door.Minhyun noticed our presence first. He looks up from what he was doing, and his eyes go wide, flooded with some emotion, but I wasn't sure what it was. Shock? Fear? Recognition? Or was it just the result of the alcohol, or possibly drugs, that he was sure to have taken throughout the course of the night?Then Emma notices us. There is no doubt what emotions were flashing across her face. Anger first, then sadness, then anger again, and then dread. She pushes Minhyun off her, and swings her legs off the bed, struggling to straighten out her dress.Minhyun straightens up, and looks me right in the eye. He was about to say something, but suddenly, he was on the floor. It was obvious someone hit him, and though it was most likely me, I don't remember hitting him."Youngbae!" Top hyung shouts, clapping his hands right next to my ear. I jump, turning and looking at Top, annoyance written across my face. Top rolls his eyes. "If you're done day dreaming, we have some stuff to discuss?" I don't respond. Top sighs, and grabs my arm, guiding me to the room that we put Emma in.Inside the room, I see a silently fuming Daesung, a silently crying Seungri, and a silent G-Dragon. They all look at us when we walk in. Anger, sadness, numbness. Seungri makes an attempt to calm down, and takes several deep breaths and wipes his eyes.I suddenly pin down the emotion that has been chasing me around for the past two days or so. I don't think it really has a name, and the closest single word I can think of to describe it is desolation. It's that feeling you get when your watching a movie, and it's at the part where everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong and then some. It's that feeling you get when you see pictures of devestating chrashes, or accidents at a construction site, or pictures of victims of an epidemic, and you just feel overwhelming sadness, and this grief, almost, for lifes lost who you don't even know, and you think to your self, That could be me next. That could be me on the news next, for dying yet another tragic death. That's the kind of feeling I've been getting, and right now, it's suffocating me."What do we need to talk about?" I ask Top quietly, but it echoes, and it seems as if everyone in the whole wide world heard me."What we're going to do about Emma." Top answers. I look at him."Well, we're obviously going to take her to the psychologist now. We're out of options!" I say."No we're not!" Daesung growls, looking at me with angry and hurt eyes. I know why. To him, this is all my fault. And now that I think about it, It is my fault. All mine. And even though I was yelling my lungs out at Minhyun and the rest of Nu'Est earlier, I could still hear what Emma said to Daesung, and Super Junior, when they came."Then what other option is there?!!" I ask Daesung, tears springing to my eyes. This is just too much....."We send Emma home." Top suggests. "Tell Emma's mom she's too much for us, put Emma on a plane, and send her home.""What?" I say that like a little kid. "But- But- But that's not going to solve anything!""Yeah, it's not going to solve the problem," Daesung says, "but it's not going to be our problem anymore!""Youngbae, we know you love Emma, really, but Emma being here isn't healthy for you, it's not healthy for us, and if tonight is any indication, it sure as hell isn't healthy for her!" Top adds. I'm about to make a cutting remark, something along the lines of 'Who do you think you are to decide what's healthy for Emma?', but G-Dragon speaks for the first time."Why don't we vote on it? All in favor of Emma leaving, raise your hand." Top and Daesung raise their hands. I sigh in relief. G-Dragon continues. "And all in favor of Emma staying?" I raise my hand immediatly, along with G-Dragon, but surprisingly, Seungri doesn't move. Everyone looks at him, eyes telling him to choose. Seungri's wet eyes flicker from person to person, and Seungri looks more and more upset and confused with every passing second."Oh, I don't know!!" Seungri suddenly wailed, bursting into tears all over again. "I don't know if I want Emma to go though! This is getting to be way to much! It's too much for all of us! Emma's not safe, and because of that, she should go home, but I want her to stay! I like Emma!" He sniffles, and then, "I think we should wait. I need some time to think...." G-Dragon smiled, and put an arm around Seungri, letting his dongsang cry."Another thing we should discuss..." Top begins, and I roll my eyes. Again, hyung? "... is what we should do about Nu'Est. Youngbae, you did say you'd ruin them, so it's safe to assume that they're currently trying to come up with a plan to make us look bad, or maybe even a good story for them to strike back first with.""Good point, but..." I trail off, thinking. "So we're looking for a story to make them look bad? I don't know...."Top snaps at me, "Seriously? You're having second thoughts about this now, after the damage has been done?!""No, I mean, do we have to use it? I was just thinking, I don't think it's really necessary to completely destroy Nu'Est over this." I explain."You don't want them to go down for this?!" GD  asks, eyes wide. "Minhyun was about to have sex with your sister!""No, I want them to go down for this." I say. "I'm just not... I guess I want to give them a chance?" All not-in-tears members of Bigbang look as if they're about to rip off my heads. "No, would you just listen?! If we release this story about Nu'Est almost you-know-what-ing my sister to the media, Nu'Est will undoubtably respond with another story that makes us look just as bad, and it will go on and on, and keep escalating!" That makes them think."So what's your plan?" Top asks suspiciously."We explain. Everything. About Emma, about me, about why I flipped, about what'll happen if they leak anything to the media, everything. Nu'Est seems pretty smart, so they should keep their mouths shut if we tell them how everything is going to work if the don't." I begin."What do you mean, explain about Emma?" Daesung says."Well, Seungri said he needed time to think, so I'm thinking we use that time to bring Em to the psychologist, so we can explain what made Emma act like she did." No one answers me, but I know that they agree, because any plan is better than none. That, and we're all asleep on our feet, all desperate to go home.The next thing I'm aware of is myself drifting to sleep in my own bed. I'm crying._________________________________Yeah, I'm not happy, so no happiness in this chapter. Three+ comments for the next update, k? I would like at least one person to answer the following question,Should Seungri agree to send Emma home, or agree for her to stay?Now, the whole auto save thing is acting up, so you might get an update when there's not supposed to be one. I apologize.