eleven (1/1)

*WARNING!! I WILL BE SAYING SOME MEAN THINGS HERE ABOUT RELIGION/GOD. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST RELIGIOUS PEOPLE OR GOD. I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD FIT. I MEAN NO OFFENSE!*Seungri's POVI count down in my head from ten, waiting for Emma to start screaming. After I've finished the countdown five times, Emma still hasn't screamed. In fact, I don't think she's even breathing. I cross my fingers and start counting down again.Five more counts of ten later, Emma shifts in her spot, and takes a deep breath. She continues breathing slowly, like she's trying to calm herself down, though we've done nothing to provoke her. A dead silence has fallen over us."Emma?" Youngbae breaks the silence, and I wince, expecting Emma to explode. Emma doesn't though. She just keeps breathing. Her lips are moving silently, and I wonder if she's praying.Her lips stop moving, and there is silence for another couple of minutes that seem to stretch on for infinity. Then she speaks."I don't know.""You don't know why you're angry? Come on, you have to know!" I protest loudly, only to be shushed and jabbed in the side by the rest of Bigbang, and to recieve the scariest death glare in history from Emma."I used to know, I think. I used to have a reason." Emma says tiredly. "I just don't remember what that was anymore. It's been a while.... Now, I guess I'm just....""In the habit of being angry?" Youngbae finishes for his little sister. Emma nods."Who are you mad at?" Top asks. "Like, the most?" Emma thinks about her answer for a moment, before her gaze darkens."I'm mad at God." Emma says with conviction. "I used to be stupid enough to believe in Him, actually. Back when I was really little, like four or five. But then I went to school.... I thought God was supposed to love everybody equal, that He has a plan for all of us, and that we were all created equal. But the school was mostly white kids, a few African Americans, and they all walked around like they were Gods gift to this Earth. They all had real families, with Mommies and Daddies who loved each other, and brothers and sisters who helped them with homework and were willing to go beat up whoever was mean to their little sibling.""No one ever wanted to be friends with me! They all said Daddy didn't love me, or Mommy, 'cause if he did, he would've been there for us. They said I was a freak, and no one ever loves a freak! If God really loved all of us and created all of us equal, then we'd all have perfect, real families! As for God's plan for me, he must not've had a very good one, because even the teachers said I was a lost cause!""I'm mad at God, because God hates me! And if God's gonna break his promise and hate me, then I sure as Hell can hate everyone else! No one bothers you if you got them scared!"She was screaming now, her face red and wet with tears. "Then Mom said she was ashamed of me, and that she'd rather have anyone else as her daughter. She said she hated me. If Mom gets to say those things, so do I! I hate her for being stupid enough to hook up with a married man! I hate her for trying to control my life when she has no right! And I hate God for being cruel and manipulative, for making my life Hell, and for rubbing salt in the wounds at every turn!" Emma could barely speak through the hiccups and sobs. She curled up and lay down on her bed, back to us. I feel a surge of anger. Who does she think she is? She sure as Hell doesn't have it the worst, and she has no right to take out her misplaced anger on the rest of the world. I'm about to tell her that when G-Dragon drags me out of the room. We go downstairs and phone Emma's mom. When we reach the voicemail, Emma lets out a piercing wail. She spends the rest of the night balling her eyes out. We order Chinese food, and make polite small talk._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Double update YAY! Again, I apologize if I offended anyone, these are not my opinions!