Years of Love (1/1)

Gym class was one of your favorite subjects when you were still in elementary school, you don’t need to think to pass this subject. And that day you were having a physical test to decide whether you could pass this subject—or you needed to take the test next week if you failed. You might not be the best student but you at least could pass. You took your position before doing 100m run, aiming to reach the finish line at least in second place. As the teacher blew the whistle, you started running, good thing you were good at running—better than any sports. But sometimes bad luck came around, just before you could pass the finish line, someone accidentally shoved you to the side and you tripped your own foot; ankle twisting and you moaned in pain. Students gathered around you, asking how you felt—of course it stung—but there was a certain person kneeled in front of you asking if you could walk. Thanks to your ankle, you couldn’t walk and probably needed someone to carry you. Acting like a hero, that certain person carried you on his back and told your teacher he would take you to infirmary. Yes he, the 9 year old Cho Kyuhyun, your best friend. For the first time you could feel your heart thumped, though you just ignored it. *** You grew up with him, he had been with you for the entire time, 7 years later when you were 16 years old, and you started to have doubt in your heart. Whenever you were with him, your felt your heart was going to explode and when you weren't with him, your heart sank and you felt uneasy. It took a long time for you to realize you had fallen for him. For the first time, he was your first love or maybe just a crush. Then reality hit you hard, he had been always the center of your life that you couldn't imagine living without him. However you knew he didn't feel the same for you and you couldn't live with it. It sucked. To befriend with someone who never saw you more than a friend, oh you were more, he said you were his second best sister. But you knew he wouldn't cross the word sister to be lover. It hurt so much, and for the second time, you blamed yourself for liking him, admiring him, adoring him, and loving him. You were so little and didn't know what to do. So you asked your closest girl friend only to hear a hurtful conclusion. You're not ready to love him. You're probably just confused. Then you started avoiding him. You didn't appear at the parking lot like how you used to be—and Kyuhyun had been waiting for you in the parking lot for hours. You didn't go to his house to study together. You didn't go to canteen with him. You had been spending the time with your new girl friends. Leaving a heartbroken Kyuhyun. Who wouldn't? His very best-est friend left him, avoided him, chose another friends. "Hey, why are you avoiding me?" One day after school, he chased you before you got home with one of your friends, grabbed your arm and dragged you from the gate of the school to the parking lot where he parked his bicycle. Simply, he wanted you to come home with him whatever your answer would be. He would never leave you alone. "I... I...," stammering, you couldn't answer his question. Because I like you, dammit! And I don't know if this is love or I am just confused!  Kyuhyun scrunched his nose, not satisfied with what you said, if he assumed that was an answer. "You've changed," he said, almost inaudibly to you. "I've not!" you screamed, totally didn't agree, you didn't change, you were just confused. "I... I just find it amusing to have girl friends. I... I mean I just can not share all girls' problems to a boy, right? And.. and.. Miyoung is kind, Soojung too." The boy only let out a sigh. "Fine... I know that you need some girl friends.. not just sticking to some boy who doesn't understand about girls." He let go of your arm and approached his bicycle. "Hop on. Let's go home," he added without even looking at your eyes. For a second you could hear him sobbing while he was riding his bicycle. Did I... hurt you? *** Yes you did, or that was what you thought. Because after graduation Kyuhyun chose to move to China, where his father worked, to continue his study there. You remembered how he didn't want to leave Korea because there was you and he suddenly moved there until his father's work finished. Even without him saying anything, you knew the reason was you. You knew you were wrong when he departed to China you weren't there. You knew it would have been more wrong if you had come to see him depart. The thought of crying alone in the room was better than crying in front of him, clearly showing you couldn't let him go. Therefore locking your room was the only option and crying for the day. Even your mother who appeared at the airport for Kyuhyun wondered why you refused to join her. "What's wrong with you?" your mother asked, several days after Kyuhyun departed, noticing your bags under your eyes. "You kept locking your room that mom had to place your foods in front of your door. Tomorrow is your first day of high school, I don't want you to have something bugging your mind." You fell silent. The decision to finally eat outside your room with your parent—your father had gone to work—wasn't a good choice. You dropped your spoon, having lost your appetite and let out a sigh while thinking what best answer was you could utter. "Nothing's wrong," you finally said, deciding not to say anything. "Come on. Spill it. I am your mom, there's nothing to be ashamed." Silent wasn't a good answer for your mother, you knew this you just waited the time your mother would cup your cheeks and make you see her through your eyes. "Tell me." "I... I... I think... Kyu...hyun..-" "I know I was just waiting for you to answer," she said while releasing her hands from your cheeks. "I know you've been liking Kyuhyun more than just a friend. I know that." Your eyes grew wider and you raised your heads in disbelief. "W...what? No! I mean... if I grew love it would be platonic because we're friends!" The woman who raised you was stroking your hair while saying, "Don't lie to me. Even if you don't understand what love is, mother's intuition is never wrong. I could see the way you looked Kyuhyun through the window. And so I assumed you'd been avoiding him because you felt insecure. Right?" Blush crept to your cheeks—what would you do then if you weren't blushing? Your mom's words felt so right, better than what Miyoung had said to you. "What should I do?" Instead of keeping your cool, your question came as a whimper. Your mom pulled you into her arms, securely hugging you, "Kyuhyun won't be staying there forever. He'll be back after his graduation. From what his mother said, he is going to a boarding school, well since cellphones aren't allowed there, you can say hi through letters." From that day onwards, you kept writing letters for Kyuhyun, your mother had promised to ask Kyuhyun's mother his school's address. Should I say sorry or just calmly say 'Hi, how are you doing?'. In the end, you wrote like there was no wall between you and him which you knew the wall preventing you and Kyuhyun's friendship had gone thicker. You needed to light the atmosphere, right? Besides, after sharing some thoughts with your mom, you concluded you wouldn't run away anymore. You wouldn't let go of Kyuhyun, again. You knew everything felt empty without Kyuhyun by your side. No one would ride you back home, help you accross the street or help you with some math problem. However being as coward as you were, you only sent few letters to Kyuhyun—though you always wrote everyday, just to make sure he would never forget you. And every time he replied you went hyper, like a child given some sweets to eat. And you concluded you were still his bestfriend. Good thing even though Kyuhyun wasn't with you, you still had two best girl friends that apparently went to same highschool like you, Miyoung and Soojung. You couldn't deny, having two girl friends was better than having a boy friend. It was just Kyuhyun had a better place in your heart. Three years passed smoothly, and then Kyuhyun was going to come back. He took a flight two weeks after his graduation, waiting for his father to finish his 5-years-of-work in China. And the news of Kyuhyun's coming made you somewhat become confused whether to fetch him at the airport or not. "Miyoung-ah, what should I do? You know I didn't appear 3 years ago. Where should I place my pride?" you asked Miyoung through phone. Miyoung was more mature than Soojung so you constantly asked her opinions, not that you didn't wanna hear Soojung's opinion. "Love doesn't know pride, dear. You should throw away your fucking pride... wait, I didn't just curse. Go fetch him. Tell him you love him! And you need to tell us the detail! We don't mind you have a boyfriend before us." You laughed. Miyoung always said something weird when she got excited, totally covering her maturity up. "Wish me luck!" *** "Welcome home, my Kyu!" Kyuhyun's mother approached his son to give him a welcoming hug. "Your best friend is here too, go greet her." Kyuhyun pulled off the hug and took some steps until he reached in front of you. "Mmm, how've you been? Ugh. Sorry I left without saying anything. You probably got mad. So.. umm.. hug?" That was it, you threw your arms to hug him, by all means, tight. Three years you had not met him, a tight hug still didn't heal the longing you had been feeling. "Yah, why didn't you come home when you had your holiday? Instead, your mom and sister went there! I couldn't meet you!" you complained to him. Yes, Kyuhyun never went to Korea during his holiday. "Kyu was busy courting a girl. Boys these days," his father said absently. Err.. what? Courting? Before you could register what Kyuhyun's dad just said, a beautiful girl with long brown hair came into your view. She was absolutely chinese and you knew Kyuhyun didn't have any relative who was chinese. A small gasp slipped out from your mouth, could it be...- "Oh, well... I haven't told you about this," said Kyuhyun who was busy scratching his head, a blush tinted on his cheeks. "This is my girlfriend, Song Qian, just call her Victoria." And your world crashed down. *** Telling the Cho that you had an urgent appointment—yes you lied about Soojung getting sick yet she was alone in home—probably was a great reason. You didn't want Kyuhyun to know you were holding back your tears that were threatening to fall. As a good friend, you wouldn't ruin the happy moment. All the hopes vanished. He found someone... At least you didn't lie you really went to Soojung's home. On the way her house you called both Miyoung and Soojung, good thing they didn't mind you disturbed their own time. "Krys..." that was what you said after Soojung—or Krystal, a nickname for her—opened the door, letting you in. As soon as you said that, tears streamed down from your eyes. Thus... Soojung hugged you, keeping you company. "It's okay, just cry. I may not be like Myong who can calm you with words, but I can hug you whenever you're hurt inside." You chuckled, more to yourself because you realized you were stupid, from the start. "Thanks, Krys," you replied as you hugged Soojung back, crying on her shoulder. It was not a long time Miyoung came to Soojung's house. This was another blissful moment to have girl friends, they, of course, knew exactly how you feel and how to react. And you shamelessly cried, regretting for what you had done to Kyuhyun. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have said you were confused," Miyoung said with an apologetic look plastered on her face. "Don't say sorry, at that time I was confused... but I took a long time to realize and I was afraid to accept the truth." Soojung was quite, but she was indeed a great listener, more than Miyoung was—while Miyoung is better at giving advices and solutions. So she just sat on her bed, listening to your story and some apologetic words coming from Miyoung. She nodded in understanding to show you how she understood every single word coming out. "You really shouldn't give up. I mean, don't let the give up words cross your mind. Who knows what'll happen in the future? At least don't give up until someone can steal your heart from Kyuhyun," Soojung blurted out absently. This had made both you and Miyoung's eyes widened in surprise since it was so rare for both of you to hear Soojung give advice—she gave encouragement words more. "Yeah, Krys is right," Miyoung added. Yes, you did as what they said, you didn't give up. *** "Err hey!" You heard someone familiar calling you. You just shrugged your shoulders and kept walking, ready to open your house's gate. "Hey!" this time was clearer than before and a hand was placed on your right shoulder. "Oh, Kyu. What's up?" your new tone was weird, totally weird. Kyuhyun scanned your face, he thought something was different—thanks to make-up, your puffy eyes were covered with thick make-up. But he couldn't figure out what the difference was so he just let it go off his mind. "Can I ask you? Can Vic stay at your house until her depart to China?" With fake smile, you answered, "No problem. Just go to my house. I'll be waiting, tell her to make herself at home." All of sudden Kyuhyun hugged you, saying endless thanks to you. Yes, I won't let you down, stupid. I love you and making you smile is on top of my list. Not long after that Victoria really came to your house along with Kyuhyun helping her carry her bag. You led them to the guest room that you tidied before she came. "Thank you so much! I couldn't be more grateful," Victoria said her gratitude, flashing her wide smile and you thought that she was really pretty. Her chinese accent couldn't be hidden too which made her look cuter. You replied with a faint 'welcome' and asked her if she was going to rest for a while or meet your mother as a manner. She replied it would be better to meet your mother first. "Mom, she's Victoria, Kyuhyun's girlfriend." That was what you said to your mother plus this made Kyuhyun fidget and blush. "She needs a place to stay and I offered the guest room." The reaction wasn't bad, maybe. Your mom widened her eyes, totally didn't believe Kyuhyun had got himself a girlfriend, she thought of your feeling. Even your mom was obviously looking so shocked she still smiled to Victoria. After a short introduction, Kyuhyun said, "Aunty, I am going home now, sorry for making Victoria stay and thank you." Kyuhyun bowed then leaving the house. The awkward silence engulfed the atmosphere right after the sound of door's closing. Your mom was busy making dinner while you were left with Victoria. "Mmm how was Kyu when he was a kid?" "You wanna know? Come to my room." Even the girlfriend was Victoria, you could still hint the jealousy through Victoria's eyes as you told her your daily life with Kyuhyun—and some embarrassing photos—in it. That was what you could be proud of, meeting Kyuhyun first before Victoria. Even though his heart belongs to you. *** Every time Kyuhyun picked Victoria up from your house your heart ached. It's harder than what you thought. How Kyuhyun flashed his smile to Victoria, how they held hands, how they laughed over nothing and how they kissed—you accidentally saw them kissing through your window. Even people would call you rude, you really wished Victoria would be back to China as soon as possible or you couldn't stand all of these. "Victoria, I am sorry to say this. I mean, I don't want to make a bad impression, but I want you to know." That night before Victoria returned home, you knocked her door and went in. You planned to tell Victoria before she left but paused for seconds to gain your breathing and heartbeat. "I like, no, I love Kyuhyun." Victoria dropped her pile of clothes she was holding. For a mere second she thought her jaw dropped onto the floor. "Why are you telling me this?" "So that both of us won't feel insecure. I am not planning on taking him from you, I just want you to know that I'll wait for him even it takes 10 years, even we choose a different path I still wait. I'll be there if he needs help. Though I've been hurting these past few days, I still love him." There, you said it. Victoria played with her fingers, thinking for words to say, but she found none. "I'm sorry." It was the best response she could think of, not because of her lack Korean but because she wouldn't offend you. "No need. I'm sorry for disturbing you with my nonsense talk. Be happy with Kyuhyun and have a safe flight tomorrow!" you beamed her with your smile, not a forced smile, but a real smile that almost made Victoria confused. Before you retreated from the room Victoria held your arm, telling you not to leave. "Kyu told me he had been loving someone whom he could never reach and he blamed himself for hurting her. I think she is you." "No," you said, shaking your head making a gesture you didn't agree although you felt yourself trembling. "Kyu never hurt me—or hurts me—so she isn't me. It's me who hurt him." "I won't! I won't hurt him." You tilted your head slightly and smiled wide, didn't forget to reach the eyes too. "Thanks." And you finally went back to your room. That couldn't be me, could that? *** University was a new environment for you, this was the first time you separated from your friends. Soojung took art, Miyoung took public relation, and you took literature. Everybody was aiming for their dreams, including Kyuhyun. He took laws though his math grades were excellent, he wanted to be a lawyer and so his parents supported him. For the record, Victoria and Kyuhyun were still dating despite of their distance, sometimes Kyuhyun went to China and vice versa. Even though you'd been hurting but the smile Kyuhyun always gave you when he told you about Victoria. You guessed he really loved her. Your phone rang, good thing it was you recess time or the lecturer might have taken your phone. Checking who the caller ID first—it was Kyuhyun—before you picked up the call. "Have a free time after 5 pm?" "You should have said hello first." You could hear him chuckling. "Let me rephrase it. Hello, do you have free time after 5 pm? I want us to hang out and you to accompany me." Your brow rose a bit. "Accompany what? I'll say no if you say game center." "No, I am too good for that," he paused with his laugh and you couldn't help but smiling. "I am gonna propose Vic, I want u—hey!" Kyuhyun couldn't finish as he heard a crash on his phone—you dropped your phone. Not wanting to draw attention, you quickly picked up your phone and steadied your heartbeat. "I-I.. sorry, I bumped to something and unconciously dropped my phone." A heavy sigh of relieved was heard. "I thought something happened. So... can you?" Dammit Kyuhyun! "Of... of course! Haha. But you have to pick me up from university. My class ends at 4:30 pm, I'll wait in front of the gate. I-I-I.. am hungry. Bye, see you later!" though it hurts. Kyuhyun came in time, you remembered years ago he always rode his bicycle with you and then he had grown up, driving a car was his new style. He opened his door and jogged to the passanger seat's door and opened it for you. "Here, princess," he gestured his hand pointing at the passanger seat. You laughed bitterly in response, only if he knew this small thing he did made your heart fluttered. But if he had known your feeling you were sure he would have avoided you and you couldn't live with that. Years had passed, you still couldn't give up, sometimes you could only laugh in despair thinking if you would have never had a mate because Kyuhyun still owned your heart. Everything happened for a reason, though. Maybe you'd meet someone else; maybe Kyuhyun would call off his planning to engage, maybe... Kyuhyun would love you back. Too absorbed in your thoughts, you couldn't hear Kyuhyun had been calling you several times. He only shrugged his shoulders and kept focusing his eyes on the road. This occured more than once, however your response was always same, you thought of your assigment so that was why Kyuhyun let you lose in your thought although Kyuhyun didn't like this new side of you. "We've arrived!" Kyuhyun announced. He noticed you were still daydreaming, feeling bad for taking you out. Sighing inaudibly, he approached you slowly and helped you with your seatbelt. This time you felt his breathing and you snapped out of your mind, suddenly pushing Kyuhyun harshly and making him almost hit the car window behind. "I am sorry! You were too close and I just had... I am sorry," you apologized. "Let's go." Both of you walked out from the car, proceeding to the jewelry shop inside the mall—Kyuhyun had insisted to treat you food. Upon reaching there, one of the salesgirl approached you and greeted nicely. "Good evening, welcome to our shop. Anything I could help?" Kyuhyun bit his lower lip, getting awkward after the salesgirl asked him. "I want to buy ring for my girlfriend." The salesgirl clapped her hands in amusement—Kyuhyun thought she was exaggerating. "Are you gonna propose? If so why is your girlfriend coming along with you?" Having mistaken as Kyuhyun's girlfriend, you abruptly cut what Kyuhyun was gonna reply. "I am just his best friend! He needs my opinion! N... no, I am not the girlfriend he is talking about." You bowed your head, suddenly the floor caught your interest. No one had said you and Kyuhyun suited to be lovers thus it made you embarassed—and happy. "Ah! I am sorry for making a stupid conclusion." She bowed in apology, then looked up to your face which was flushed. "I just thought you were so... compatible." "Alright for the chit-chat. I am troubling my best friend here and I want to make it as fast as I can. Please?" Your best friend was aware of your discomfort, even he didn't know how happy you were when the salesgirl said you two were compatible. Fantasy had come to your mind as the expensive jewelries came to your sight, how it would have been if Kyuhyun had decided to give you some ring and not Victoria. Plus there was a white gold diamond ring that captivated your eyes for some minutes and you unconsciously looked at your ring finger, imagining how it would look around your finger. As if Kyuhyun would buy your expression of wanting the ring, he might think the ring was good for Victoria. Nonetheless the salesgirl kept looking at you checking out the diamond ring. Just as your thoughts had wandered around, Kyuhyun approached you and tried to get your attention by tapping your shoulder lightly. "Did you find any good ring? Because I saw you look at some ring." "Mh...," you bit your inner cheek, having a battle in your mind whether to tell Kyuhyun or not. Well but it was not like Kyuhyun would buy you though, so it was better to tell him. "You know the diamond ring over there, number two from the left and number four from the bottom. I think it's quite good. Not too lavish yet still beautiful plus Victoria isn't kind of person who demands luxurious things." Kyuhyun nodded in agreement, your argument was the most important. "Ms, I think I'll take this ring, the size is 7." "Well, in my opinion, to propose a girl, you should not choose this, I mean, it has to be appealing. Your best friend's choice is not bad but as a salesgirl, I prefer this one," the girl—who maybe was around 23-24—took a 18 karat white gold, diamond ring. "What your friend chose is 14 karat. So this is better." Kyunhyun scrunched his nose as he thought. If he could choose he wanted to take the ring you had picked but what the salesgirl said was right. It had to be appealing, and Kyuhyun wasn't the romantic type to know which one was better. "You know... it's not like that serious propose thing. It's more like a promise, like pre-engagement. But..." Suddenly the color of his face reddened at the thought of engagement. "Kyu, I think the salesgirl is right. The one she chose is better than what I chose. Go buy it." And so Kyuhyun bought the 18 karat white gold diamond ring. *** "So... do you have a boyfriend? You never tell me." You choked on your Strawberry Frappe, coughing badly that made Kyuhyun patted your shoulder continously until you stopped coughing and breathed normally. You inhaled deeply. Was Kyuhyun oblivious or stupid? "No, I don't have." "Any boy you like?" "Why are you suddenly asking me question like that? It should be me asking you why do you suddenly want to propose Victoria? You are still 20. Did you impregnant her or what?" Seriously, you felt annoyed. This time Kyuhyun choked his own saliva. "N...no! Of course! I won't do that! It's just that I worry too much. We are having long distance relationship. If I didn't claim her soon, she would be taken." Did I just see red-tinted face? "You love her," you concluded, sighing to yourself. "Of course. She was there when I was trapped inside my darkest world," Kyuhyun smiled as he recalled his memories in the past. As cliché as it was, you just saw a beautiful sight of your best friend slash crush smiling. "So, do you like someone?" Blushing madly, you played with your fingers and thought of the words you would utter. How should you answer if the one you loved was asking you who you loved? "Yes. I have been loving him for long time but he already has a girlfriend. I once told the girlfriend I would wait for him even it took 10 years, that's stupid because he really loves her and has no plan to break up. I am stupid too for loving him blindly," your voice croaked in the middle of explaining and you felt an imaginary thing gagged your throat. "I'm already happy seeing him happy. I am not that kind of stupid jealous girl wanting to revenge." "I am sorry to hear that. You were so brave telling her that. If I were the girlfriend I would get mad and if I were that boy I would choose you and you could be happy." You didn't know who you are talking about. Kyuhyun got up from his chair, signalling he already finished his drink and food, indirectly asking you to get up and leave the restaurant as soon as possible. Before you could get up too, Kyuhyun patted your head and smiled, "You'll find your man. Don't worry." "Hey, I am fine! I am not that pathetic." You pushed back the chair you were sitting on and get up thus you could punch Kyuhyun's arm playfully. "But your face showed that angsty look!" "I was too caught up, stupid!" *** It had been some days after Kyuhyun's boarding to China, he sort of helped his father—he finally moved back to Korea—and took his free time to meet Victoria and proposed her just like what he told you several days ago. He promised to you that you would be the first person to know the story. You knew he was stupid but you couldn't wait to hear his happy voice and you would become happy enough by hearing that. The ringtone on your phone signalling someone's calling made you jump from the couch to your bed to take your phone and lay on your stomach. It was obviously Kyuhyun, you just set a specific ringtone for him ever since he had left to China for this mission. "How? How? How? Did she cry? Was she touched? Or maybe she fainted in happiness?" No answer. "Hey Kyuhyun..." "You know... your voice calms me down," he absent mindly said to you. Blush creeping to your cheeks and heart beating faster that made you afraid he could hear the sound of your heart beating through the phone. "I was just thinking about admitting to losing my pride by crying but hearing your voice calms me down." You could hear him take a deep breath. "I got rejected." With shocked expression you got up from your bed and shook your head furiously, not wanting to believe. You remembered Victoria promised she wouldn't hurt you. Did she break her promise? You were ready to lose your temper but thinking negatively wasn't going to make everything change, it was better if you let Kyuhyun explain. "She said she couldn't marry me. Her parents set her up with someone, apparently that someone is a CEO's son from where her father works. She tried to explain but I cut her off. You know she said she still loves me and I do too, so I gave the ring to her as a gift, not a proposal. And I asked a break up. I am so messed up." You could hear him sniffling, how long had he been trying to surpress the tears? "Oh Kyuhyun... I am sorry." "Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong." No one spoke nor try to end the call. Both of you were hearing each other's breathing, and you didn't want to respond what Kyuhyun just said. Besides his sadness was your sadness too. "Hey, I am coming back tonight. I'll come to your house tomorrow. It's winter and I want you to make me a hot chocolate when I come over." It was Kyuhyun who broke the silence. You nodded as though Kyuhyun could see the small gesture you did. "I'll make you a galloon of hot chocolate if you want. Oh! And I'll order pizza too. We'll eat some junk foods. Okay?" Kyuhyun hummed as a response. "See you tomorrow." "See you." Just before Kyuhyun pressed the end call button you added, "Don't cry alone." "I'll try." *** As what he promised the day before, Kyuhyun came to your house while bringing some souvenirs for your family. Of course you didn't forget to make a glass—no way it was a galloon—of chocolate and buy junk foods, you knew every time Kyuhyun had a bad time, he would consume unhealthy food more, even in the past you always got mad when Kyuhyun consumed junk foods more than healthy food, you couldn't be that protective now, at least not when he was broken. In the end Kyuhyun didn't bring up the break-up and rejection topic, not even mentioning about China, and kept eating the food plus praising your hot chocolate. You knew your hot chocolate was his favorite, he said it tasted better than any cafe had, and it always calmed his brain down. Silently thanking to god you could be useful to someone whom you loved secretly. It was getting quiet because no one dared to say any words. Kyuhyun kept eating his McD's burger—and two glass of hot chocolate—without even looking at you. And you could only shifted your body here and there on your couch while watching him eat. You knew how Kyuhyun behaved when he was at this point. He would tell you when he either was ready or full. "I am full!" Kyuhyun exclaimed, stretching his arms. "Hey, let me borrow your lap. I'm getting sleepy." Nodding, you patted your lap as you readied yourself. The boy lay on your lap smiling as he murmured how your lap felt so warm. "Your lap is warmer than Victoria's. I just realized that." He immediately frowned at the Victoria word that came out from his own mouth. "If you wanna cry, just cry. You have my permission to wet my shirt." Kyuhyun quickly grabbed your front shirt and clutched it tightly. He sniffled for several times before finally he let out his tears, in no time your shirt was already wet. It seemed like he had been holding back the tears for too long. Soon he stopped crying, he placed his forearm around his eyes to cover his now-puffy eyes. "I am so stupid, I guess. Crying over a girl." After putting away some strands that covered his forehead you inhaled deeply, "It's stupid, I know. I cried for that person too. Myong and Krys were worried sick." "You know what? You're too kind, I don't understand why he chooses another girl instead of you," Kyuhyun blabbered, looking straight on your face—almost making you blush. You jutted your lips out, hands twirling into Kyuhyun's hair. "Your hair is getting longer. You should cut it." Your trying to change the topic made Kyuhyun snort at your attempt. "Don't try to change the topic." "I guess it is because I hurt him. I don't even think he would like me the way I do since he only sees me as a friend," you answered honestly, at the same time you dried the tears that had flown down from Kyuhyun's eyes with the back of your hand. Kyuhyun laughed. "He is stupid, isn't he? He missed the chance to be with you and got rejected by his girl." As if you just swallowed some chemical substance, you couldn't reply. Had he known about your little crush he would have realized from the start, but it seemed he just knew—you knew he was too naïve to notice when you two were at the restaurant. "What?" you cursed silently for making your sound crack. "I am stupid and I am sorry. Vic...toria told me yesterday." He paused for a while at the Victoria word, still trying to get used to the break up, you guessed. "Oh." Great, my answer is just an oh. Kyuhyun chuckled, your answer was amusing, and you didn't even deny what Kyuhyun just said. A simple oh wasn't a denial. "I admit I felt what you felt towards me. I thought I hurt you. I left because I was afraid you would see me breaking—you always know everything about me, so I enrolled to a boarding school just to avoid you. That was when I met her, a senior of me and she was there to cheer me up even though she didn't know anything." You felt you couldn't breathe, was all just a misunderstanding? Indeed, it was a misunderstanding and both of your egos overpowered everything. Taking a deep breath was a new habit, for this day. You glanced at Kyuhyun who was still laying his head on your lap. You almost couldn't feel anything, emotions were mixed up and your brain felt like it couldn't comprehend your surroundings. "So...?" Second time, you wished you could have bashed your head off for saying stupid. Kyuhyun lifted his body up, sitting beside you so he could see you clearly. "She said I should try things with you." "So... would you?" you asked, hell you even didn't know you should thank Victoria for giving you a chance or mad at her because she rejected Kyuhyun. You weren't surprised when Kyuhyun shook his head to you. After all you already knew what his answer was. "I can't, at least not now when I still have a feeling to someone else." "I know. I don't expect anything from you. Your happiness is my priority." *** Since that day, you became closer to Kyuhyun, yes you were already close to Kyuhyun but he used any chance to be with you longer than he had ever been before. For you to be extremely happy was natural and for you to be sadder was more natural. Kyuhyun did this only because Victoria made him do, you knew he once had a feeling, but it was already past. You even caught him typing something on his phone, you knew you shouldn't be thinking negatively but the draft on his phone told you he always made some unsent texts to Victoria. "Kyuhyun, don't force yourself," you finally said. "What?" he asked while furrowing his brows. "Don't try to love me. You said you'd try but you know you didn't even try. So just forget about this thing." It was evening, Kyuhyun always came to your university to pick you up--if his schedule wasn't packed. This was one of the days Kyuhyun would drive you home, he insisted actually. After you said to him, he swerved his car to the left, finding a safe place to stop. He turned his head to face you, face wasn't amused at all. "Why are you suddenly thinking like that?" "Because you are not trying! You never try. I know you keep typing some texts to Victoria, telling how much you miss her, love her even you never send those. Don't push yourself, I don't like it." He let out an audible sigh and suddenly hit his head on the steering wheel. "I am sorry. Just give me a time." "It's been two years... I only want you to be happy. Don't worry, like you said, my man will come. Even it's not you, I am okay. We'll be laughing about this when we are older, so it's okay. From now on stop picking me up. I have legs." Feeling bad because what you said was right, Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around your waist hugging you tightly while murmurring sorry. *** Your mother was the first person asking you why Kyuhyun stopped picking you up. Not giving her the detail, you just said you didn't want to burden him as he was busy with laws and both of your schedules sometimes didn't match. For the record, you hadn't met Kyuhyun for several weeks, more than a month, you guessed. Both of you started to get busier as it was your final year in the university, not that you minded being away with him because yoy thought it would be the best for you (and him of course) to not rush into things. Being more open to your colleagues brought some positive effects. You could be easier doing the final task with the help of others, you finally had someone accompany you to go home, and you could be distracted from Kyuhyun. Seriously if it hadn't been them, your life would have become worse. Graduation ceremony had come, thank god you passed with nice grades, not the best but it was pretty decent. Good enough to apply in a publicing company, to aim as an editor. Thus celebrating this moment with your colleagues might be the best thing you could do before they moved on to the next stage of their lives. Foods, drinks, music occupied the party. It was getting late, not that it was your first time coming home this late, but someone who was one of the closest colleagues whose name was Amber Liu offered you a ride to home. She always does that to you, it seemed like she substituted Kyuhyun's place and some people made a wrong assumptions about bith of you as a couple--which was not, you were in the same gender. It was 11 pm when you reached home by Amber's car. You bid your goodbye before you stepped out from the car. Little did you know, someone was waiting for you at the gate. Amber slightly nudged you to see the person standing with not-amused stare. "Cho Kyuhyun," you whispered to yourself, but Amber could hear you clearly. "Your big crush? Not too shabby, huh?" she commented, though it was more like a question. "Yeah. Anyway, I should talk to him. See ya, Amber." You opened the door and stepped out, not forgetting to wave your hand to Amber as she drove away. You approached him, asking him what he was doing in the middle of night. He could have waited inside your house instead standing like a bodyguard there. "So... who's he?" Huh? "Who?" "The one who always drives you home, just like today. I thought you loved me, but you just made an excuse that day so I would stop and you could see him." "But--" Kyuhyun was faster than you, he interrupted. "I didn't confront you because you were busy with papers and tasks. It could have been better if you had said to me you already fell for someone else! How could you?" "Kyu..." "When I was about to try loving you again like how I used to... you didn't put your faith. I might not be ready at that time but you didn't want to--" "Cho Kyuhyun! Stop blabbering, listen to me first! That person is my friend! SHE is Amber Liu, SHE is from States. Clear? It's a she." How stupid could Kyuhyun be? You emphasized the she word so Kyuhyun would stop blabbering like a kid. "What?! He is a she? But... so I spent my time worrying about you seeing someone else is just for nothing?" Kyuhyun yelled in frustration, to make it look worse he pulled his hair too. You blinked your eyes. "You worried?" "Yes! Don't you know I was crazy?!" Smirking, you reached Kyuhyun's hands. "So... you were crazy? Why?" "Ugh... I admit, since the day you said we should stop I couldn't yeah you know. I think I like you again." And you felt like a dumb, crying in the middle of the night in front of your home with Kyuhyun as the witness. "Should we try again?" "Yes!" you exclaimed, throwing yourself into Kyuhyun's arms. *** To be honest, you both weren't dating. You were just normal friends--bestfriends. You didn't call the hangouts as dates too, neither of you thought it would mean something else. Holding hands, bickering, cuddling on the sofa, were things couple did, and you both did those without the title. No one confessed but it was way better like this, nothing had changed between you and him. Who would care about the title if you had mutual feelings? Still you finally cared after your parents started to ask you when you would get married or try to find a boyfriend--you denied you dated Kyuhyun. Excuses were made like you weren't interested in dating or you wanted to focus on your work or et cetera. Your parents only could sigh they were afraid you wouldn't get married. Secondly, Krystal, Miyoung--unfortunately Amber too--kept asking you what you were to Kyuhyun. As you said truthfully none of them gave positive response. All they said was Kyuhyun hung the relationship between you and him. Worst thing maybe he just played with your heart. Saturday evening was your usual time to meet Kyuhyun as works separated the two of you. This time you went to Kyuhyun's house, watching a sappy movie. You couldn't help but to wonder again about the your relationship and the future. "Kyuhyun...," you turned your head to face him (you had been sticking your eyes to the movie) and was greeted by something rectangular. "Marry me?" "Huh? You are not acting like the main character in this movie right?" And Kyuhyun mentally facepalmed. "Could you please just open this gift and say yes to everything I say?" "You won't trick me, will you?" "No. Just open." You could feel the tone he used showed how annoyed he was. Slowly you unwrapped the gift. A diamond ring you wanted the day Kyuhyun planned to propose Victoria came to your sight. The question was how he could remember the ring you wanted. "The ring?" Kyuhyun swallowed his own saliva. "Outdated? I was going to ask for a ring and the salesgirl you met back then approached me and said, 'are you finally going to propose your best friend?' she dragged me! Only to show me the ring you wanted that day. Believe me, she saved it for us. She is the daughter of the owner, maybe saving one ring isn't a problem." You pursed your lips, digesting every word Kyuhyun said to you. "How could she...?" "She was sure we would end up together. I think she has sixth sense. I declined the ring as I said 'It's just 14 karat, that day you suggested 18 karat'. You know the answer? She said, 'Never mind the karat if the girl you love likes the ring she sees, it's the perfect one for her. I lured you so I could save this ring'. Manipulative bitch." "Kyuhyun, mind your words." "Sorry, princess." He kept staring at you observing the ring before sliped it to your own ring finger. This made Kyuhyun shocked for a second. "Wait, I should be the one who puts it on you! It's a proposal! Yes or no?!" You were taken aback. You hadn't realized that it was a proposal. And if it was, this was the most unromantic proposal in the whole world. "...yes. Yes Cho Kyuhyun, yes!" Kyuhyun smiled sweetly, not just a smirk he always gave when he teased you so it was real. "I practiced at the office, earning some glares from people in the office but in the end I failed. Thanks to you," Kyuhyun commented sarcastically. "Anyway, thanks for accepting. Let's get married and let's have babies!" After him putting the ring into your finger, you immediately slapped the back of his head. "Pervert!" You sighed watching Kyuhyun rub his head. It was unromantic, it was weird and all of you ruined the moment, but the happiness flowing through your veins wasn't fake. All of your worries were gone, what others said was wrong. Kyuhyun didn't play with your heart, he meant it, he meant every word he said. Although he never said those three magical words. The thought of it made your eyes wet, and tears running down from your eyes. "Kyu, I really really really do love you," you sobbed, glad that you didn't stutter at all. He hugged you, caressing your hair. "I know." "Won't you say back?" "No. But can I kiss you? We need to seal this relationship, right? You are my fiancée now." You nodded vigorously. With no hesitation, Kyuhyun leaned his face closer to you. Closing your eyes as you waited the soft lips crashed on yours. Kyuhyun felt sweet yet weird. Seconds passed, no one was brave enough to move their lips; it resulted with Kyuhyun pulling back. ... ... "Honestly, it was weird. I never imagined I would kiss my best friend," he confessed. "Agree. I never imagined too. I only wanted to be with you, I didn't think about kissing or making out." "But your lips are addicting. I will get used to kissing you, in no time." Kyuhyun held your nape as if he was afraid you would pull away when he was about to kiss you. He wasn't a bad kisser, you were just not used to it. However you still accepted the kiss Kyuhyun gave and he braced up to move his lips against you. Being the submissive one, you only let his lips move and opened your mouth when his tongue thrusting into your mouth, feeling the warmness of your cavern. Well the make out session wasn't that success as someone stepped into the room you and Kyuhyun were in. "Oh my god, my eyes!" It was Kyuhyun's older sister, Ahra. "Mom, Dad, Kyuhyun is kissing his best friend!" she yelled to gain attention from her parents. As expected, Kyuhyun's parents came into the room too "Cho Kyuhyun, I didn't teach you to behave like that..," his father protested as he smacked his only son's head. "Dad! Why can't I kiss my fiancée?" The three of them widened their eyes. "Are you serious?" his mother exclaimed first. "Look at her finger! I proposed her!" You blushed madly, trying to hide your hand to the back but Kyuhyun's mother held your hand. "I am so happy!! Finally this day has come!" she hugged you tightly, you wondered how you could still breathe despite of the tightness. "Mom, can I marry her tomorrow?" For the third time, Kyuhyun got smacked that day. You grabbed his hand signalling him to shut up so he wouldn't get smacked. However, there was one thing Kyuhyun did that made you freeze in your place as he drew imaginary lines on your palms using his finger. He drew 'I love you'. ====== longest one-shot fiction I have ever written.comments are appreciated as always (: p/s : you got your wish, you know who you are (;