The Hour Of Jealousy (1/2)

The beat.

The heat.

The anger.

Key seriously thought that he could manage his rage but as the concert just continued agonizing minute by agonizing minute he knew he would blew up when they were off the stage. He saw the scene in his head over and over again. Jonghyun's perfect body bent back right before he tugged Taemin's hair. He rocked his body from side to side, yanking Taemin's head back. Key almost forgot to breath when he saw Jonghyun's lips so close to Taemin's. Only a brief second, in fact a brief half a second, and the moment was gone. Taemin yanked himself free and keps singing.

God he hated fanservice. Jonghyun was his. Too bad that because of the stupidity of their manager he couldn't tell it to that fucking idiot who designed their shows and it seemed like someone at some point had decided that his Jonghyun had to worship Taemin. It wasn't fair! And Jonghyun seemed utterly pleased when he got to be close to their cute little Taemin. Too pleased if Key got a word to say.

God he hated Taemin. That kid was always so perfect, so cute, so adorable and so fucking innocent that he got all the attention. From the band, from the fans and even from the company. Taemin this and Taemin that. He was so sick of it that he wanted to throw up. And now that little baby face got to get handsy with his Jonghyun!

After re-experiencing the scene about three thousand and sixty times Key got his relieving in the backstage. He pushed everyone away from his way, knocking Minho accidentally down, and locked himself into the bathroom. Lights were beyond unnecessary while he started ripping of his shirt. Caring as much as he would care about a pair of ugly jeans about where the shirt might have landed he shot a kick into the darkness. Something broke with a snap and something fell on the floor. Next was a turn for a punch. That was the worst idea he had got during the day. Key shoved his fist into the pitch black air in front of him and cried out in pain when his knuckles hit a solid surface that gave in under his direct shot and shattered. He felt the splinters dig into his skin as he collapsed on the floor.

Of course the always perfect Taemin heard him and knocked on the door.

"Key...? Hyung, are you okay?"

"Fuck off!" Key shouted and curled into a ball.

"I heard something broke and--"

"Fuck off I said!"

"O-o-okay..."

Silence. Key wasn't sure was he happy or devastated. Only Taemin cared? Only the perfect little Taemin that he hated so much? Why couldn't Jonghyun care?! His perfect Jonghyun, only his. Tears found their way on his cheeks. The lump in his throat started to disturb breathing, his hand ached as the warm liquid ran between his fingers to his pawn and up his forearm. He had rather felt all that pain over and over again than seen the act on the stage. How long has it been? How long had he loved Jonghyun? Too long. For too long he had been shooting daggers at the fans that got to hug him, at the pretty interviewers that got a killer smile from him, at the band members that were close to him. Key had problems with his appearance, he might be bitchy and cocky and always caring about his looks but he had no idea how to approach a guy he loved.

Maybe if he had told Jonghyun how he felt and got the rejection or approval from him, he wouldn't be so jealous. Or at least everyone would know why he had been so tense since their last tour when Jonghyun had said half-hearted things to Minho and Onew. To Key, they were bullets right to his heart.

Someone knocked the door again.

"Fuck off!"

"Key. Don't be a bitch. What's going on?" It was Onew.

"Fuck. Off! I don't want to talk to you."

"Key. Really. You've been odd since forever! Come out so we can talk."

Key didn't feel like talking but Onew was the one he could trust. Onew wouldn't be running his mouth right away to the others. Onew would help.

"I don't want to talk anyone but you, okay?"

"That's completely fine. Let me in."

Key gathered his limps under him and crawled to the door holding his sore hand against his bare tummy. He opened the lock and backed off.

–

Onew opened the door, closed it behind him and locked it before turning on the lights. Bathroom was a mess. Not, it was a chaos beyond anything thinkable. Shelf in the corner was broken, it's thin wooden walls had broke in the middle. Everything that had been in the shelf was now on the floor happily mixed with shards of the broken mirror on the wall. There was blood too.

Key sat in the corner, hugging his right hand, tears drying on his cheeks. Onew tried to think why but he couldn't come up with any sensible explanation. He would just have to make Key open up a little. He sat on the toilet.

–

"So. What's the matter?" Onew asked.

Key looked at his own toes. Bad idea! He tried not to panic and run away.

"Key. Look. I don't know what's going on but I want you to talk to me so I can help. We have been worried about you! You have been nagging and bitchy since the last tour and now you've mashed a mirror with your bare hand. This isn't like you at all! What's going on?"

Tears filled his eyes and he sobbed once, then again and pressed his face against his knees. He was still angry, he wanted to mash more things but inside all he wanted was a hug. From Jonghyun, if possible.

"I-- When Taemin-- Jong-- They k-kissed and I--"

"Taemin and Jonghyun kissed? When did that happen?" Onew said with surprised voice.

"O-on the...stage."

"It wasn't a kiss. It was--"

"You want me to tell or not?!" Key scowled.

"Okay, okay. Sorry... Go on."

But Key didn't feel like talking anymore. He swallowed the rest of his tears, wiped the ones from his cheeks off with his left hand and left the bathroom. Quick glance to the clock told him that it had been only five minutes from the end of the show. He turned to walk away, maybe to get something to drink but his eyes caught a sight from the couch. Taemin and... Jonghyun. Taemin was curled up against Jonghyun's side, sighing deeply between his silent words. Jonghyun nodded here and there, patting his back.