Hey, Its You (1/1)

a/n: well, it's finally here :) thank you for being patient with us. let the saga begin... With a heavy sigh, Seunghyun sets his armful of books down at his feet, folding himself up on the floor beside them. He’s just getting started on sliding them into their proper places on the shelves, the quiet sound of Levi, his boss, talking to a customer drifting all the way to the back of the store. He likes late afternoons like this at Inkwell the best. There are only a few people milling around upstairs in the Philosophy section. Warm light from the sun bathes the bookcases in gold. And everywhere, the comforting scent of old paper. But then a heavy, black boot kicks him in the side, disrupting his moment of zen, and Seunghyun just groans. “Was that really necessary?” he grumbles, twisting around to look at Caroline towering over him because it could never be anyone else. She’s got both hands on her wide hips, the red of her lipstick seeming more angry than usual, and he doesn’t understand why she tries so hard to put up a front. Caroline is the least intimidating person Seunghyun has ever met, she’s like a dachshund that thinks it’s a german shepherd. But everyone has their own way of dealing with the world. He would know. “Yes.” Caroline arches one of her terrifyingly sharp eyebrows and smiles, daring him to challenge her. He doesn’t. Sighing again, he picks up another book from the pile, easing it onto the tightly packed shelf. “What are you doing here, anyway? My shift isn’t over until seven.”  “We’re going to Alchemy tonight and you’re coming with,” she declares. “No.” Caroline scoffs. “I’m sorry, that word isn’t applicable in this situation.” “Caro…” Seunghyun warns, but it comes out more like a whine. “Seunghyun,” she counters, making a face at him that can only be categorized as patronizing. “Why?” “Because I haven’t seen you in a week and that’s not okay.” Caroline nudges him with her boot. “Come onnn, it’ll be fun.” “Fun.” He lets out a huff and shelves another book. “Sure.” Seunghyun hazards a glance over his shoulder to find her smirking at him because she knows he’s going to cave. Caroline tilts her head to the side, her chin-length black hair swinging away from her face and her hazel eyes already sparking with victory. He restrains the urge to flip her off for being so annoying. “Really, it will,” Caroline insists and drops into a crouch, one of her hands landing on his arm. She bats her thick eyelashes at him and pouts. Just like a puppy. “Pretty please?” “Fine. But only if I don’t have to talk to any of your asshole friends,” Seunghyun mutters darkly. Her grip on his arm tightens and she grins so wide. Seunghyun finds himself grinning back. “Deal.” But when he realizes what just happened, the grin falls and he slumps against the shelves, his forehead hitting a row of books. “Ugh,” he grunts. “Why do I always let you win?” “Because you love me too much to deny me anything,” she coos, pecking him on the cheek before standing up. He glares at her as she rearranges her black dress, smoothing her fingers over the delicate material, gloating. “I’ll be there around nine. And if you back out at the last minute, I’m gonna kill you.” “Noted,” Seunghyun says, voice flat and defeated. “You can leave now.” Caroline tsks, the pout returning to her red lips. “Jerk.” “And yet you still want to hang out with me all the time.” He gives her a thin, insincere smile, scrubbing the heel of his hand over his cheek to get rid of the lipstick smudge. And with a roll of her eyes, Caroline marches away. Seunghyun hears the exasperated clomp of her boots all the way to the front door.  This is what happens when you befriend a human wrecking ball. A tiny, self-pitying noise resonates in his throat and he stares down at the next book in the pile. The cover is an illustration of a woman’s face -- her expression hard and unforgiving. Judgmental. Seunghyun frowns. “What the hell are you looking at?” he demands.  Of course the book doesn’t answer. So he grabs it none-too-gently and shoves it into an empty space on the bottom shelf, refusing to think about his fate.

*

Little Italy isn’t a neighborhood Seunghyun finds himself in often. But Caroline is always on the lookout for new venues to facilitate her drinking habit and he usually gets dragged along for the ride. He’s never heard of Alchemy, not that he’s well-versed in Chicago nightlife or whatever, so that’s not saying much. The building itself is nothing special though, just old brick and stone and the blue glow of the bar sign. Seunghyun balances on the edge of the curb, still outside and smoking a cigarette because he hasn’t found the motivation to go in yet. It’s only 9:30 and, yeah, he’s late, but at least he’s here. Scuffing the toe of his ratty Adidas on the pavement, he hesitates; flicks his thumb against the filter of his cigarette. There’s the dull throb of bass beats floating out from the open door and of course Caroline had to pick a day the club was playing old-school hip hop and R&B. Song after song of shit he hasn’t heard since he was in middle school. Seunghyun takes a drag, blowing a cloud of smoke into the warm, May night, and he scoffs out a faint laugh. Because Notorious B.I.G.’s “Big Poppa” is ringing loud and clear in his ears and how is he supposed to resist that? He rolls his shoulders, drops his cigarette on the ground. Fuck it, he thinks, and heads for the door before he can come up with a reason not to. On the inside, Alchemy is definitely something. Some cross between old world speakeasy and contemporary urban playground. It’s not what he was expecting, but he’s not really sure what to make of it either. Seunghyun blinks in the face of the flickering strobe lights, trying to adjust to the noise and the people and the buzz in the air. The little tug he’d felt in his chest at hearing Biggie pumping from the speakers is quickly fading, replaced by an uncomfortable weight that pulls his shoulders into a hunch. He’s not the biggest fan of large crowds. Although he’s also not a hermit, contrary to popular belief. Seunghyun rakes his fingers through his messy black hair; adjusts his rolled sleeves so they sit just below his elbows. He feels a bit overdressed in a plaid button-up and an undershirt, everyone else baring as much skin as they can get away with. He thinks about turning around and going home. But then there’s a blur of movement in front of him and all he can see is Caroline’s manic grin. “Took you long enough,” she shouts into his ear. Seunghyun frowns. “I need a drink.” Caroline more than happily leads him through the mass of bodies to the bar. It’s moderately packed and he has to push himself in to lean against the counter, but when he sees their impressive selection of whiskey, Seunghyun’s rough edges soften a bit. The bartender slides past him, dropping a quick, “be with you in a minute, man.”. He just taps his knuckles against the wood, listening as the song changes, and suddenly he’s smiling again because it’s Missy Elliott.  Seunghyun ends up ordering something outside of his price range, but decides he doesn’t mind since he rarely goes out anyway. The bartender beams at him--genuine and all teeth--and Seunghyun wonders how a guy who looks like he can kick his ass can be so unexpectedly charming. “Enjoy!” the man shouts brightly over the music as he gives Seunghyun his drink. He nods once in response, setting a crumpled bill on the counter,  and doesn’t even get the chance to say thank you. Not with Caroline’s fingers tight around his wrist and directing them towards one of the few standing tables they’d claimed as their own. The grimace is back when Seunghyun sees Greg, a fellow coworker of Caroline’s at their little online literary journal. The guy looks so out of place, standing there in his crisp, white dress-shirt and black blazer--hand gripping a cocktail glass and wide mouth turned down at the corners. This actually makes Seunghyun just a tiny bit happier. Because Greg? Greg is a huge prick. And he doesn’t understand why Caroline insists on trying to like him. Greg has nothing to offer to the universe. He’s boring and writes pretentious essays about shit he hasn’t really experienced, but he’s smart and good at faking so everyone tells him he’s brilliant. Seunghyun scowls into his tumbler, downing half of it while he listens to Caroline and their friend Marina babble in the background. He attempts not to hate anything more than he already does. At least with Marina, Seunghyun doesn’t feel so irritated. She’s his go-to for over-long arguments about the state of the world. Seunghyun isn’t super political, but it’s always fun to fight with someone because it keeps him on his toes. Because sometimes he feels like his brain is slowly leaking out of his ears. And sometimes he wonders why he even has a brain at all.  When Greg starts bragging about his shiny new publishing deal, Seunghyun takes that as his cue to walk away. He didn’t come here for that. And if Caroline isn’t going to talk to him right now, he sees no real reason to hover by the table and pretend that he’s interested. So he goes back to the bar, leaning against the counter and watching all the drunk kids dance. But the song changes again, beats lazier, and Seunghyun's attention shifts with the music; follows it to the DJ booth opposite the bar and elevated above the crowd. It's not a common thing that he looks at someone for the first time and can't find the strength to look away. Though Seunghyun is having that exact problem right now as he takes in the sight of a boy so beautiful he almost doesn't seem real. Maybe it's the lights and the shadows. Maybe it's the expensive whiskey. Maybe if he looks a little while longer the spell will wear off.  Only it doesn't. And Seunghyun is still staring five, ten minutes later--eyes glued to swaying hips and tattooed skin and dark, sweat-dampened hair. The boy's head bobs with the music, one hand tapping at his laptop and the other holding one headphone to his ear. Seunghyun sucks in a breath, lets it out slow. He needs another drink. Another drink turns into two and Seunghyun is no less infatuated. Is it possible to fall in love with someone based entirely on their taste in music? That could be the alcohol but he's pretty sure it isn't. N.E.R.D., Aaliyah, Babyface, old-school Kanye, Nelly, Blackstreet, Michael Jackson...they all pour themselves into his head until he can't stop smiling into his glass. Seunghyun laughs when it switches to Destiny's Child and the dance floor shouts back its appreciation. He watches the DJ's lips spread into a pleased grin--his hand in the air as he jumps with everyone else--and Seunghyun absolutely doesn't linger on the low curve of his tank top that exposes his ribs and the dip of his waist. It's for the best, he thinks, that the DJ can't see the crowd very well from the booth, because he isn’t sure what he’d do if he got caught. Just as Seunghyun places his empty tumbler down on the counter, an annoyed Caroline materializes in front of him for a second time. She holds his arm and squeezes. "What the hell are you doing? Come hang out with me you jackass." He rolls his eyes, pressing his back more firmly against the bar in his unwillingness to move from that very spot. With a glance at the DJ, Seunghyun shakes his head. "I can see better from here," he says, smirking. Caroline tracks his wandering gaze to the booth and her grip on his arm falls away. She barks a short laugh. "You're terrible." Seunghyun shrugs. "Fine, stay here and ogle the club kid. Once you've finished torturing yourself, you know where to find me." And Caroline ruffles his hair a bit before melting back into the crowd. Seunghyun sighs. There’s a faint chuckle building in his chest because it's funny that she still knows all his bad habits. What's comforting is that she doesn't hold it against him, and that should make him feel like more of a shit for playing the role of wallflower, but he's really not up for talking tonight. When the song changes again, Seunghyun wonders how many hours have passed. It seems like forever since he walked through the door. The boy in the booth sweeps the damp hair away from his forehead, body still moving to the beat. Seunghyun wants to know his name. Wants to know the stories behind the permanent ink on his arms and his shoulders and if there's more hidden beneath the layers of his clothing. He almost starts concocting an imaginary version of him in his head and there's an irrepressible itch to find out if the reality matches up. Seunghyun leans against the bar, well aware that he’d never have the balls to approach him anyway. He’s okay with looking. Especially when the lights paint electric blues and pinks across the boy’s face, making his eyes flash and skin glisten. But the moment Seunghyun lets his mind slip, imagining what it would be like to touch, he feels his stomach roll. Jesus. Caroline was right, this is cruel and unusual self-inflicted punishment. He thinks about ordering another whiskey or four, but the song is over before he decides yes or fuck yes and now Stunning DJ is giving the crowd a farewell salute. He watches him sling a towel around his neck as he turns away. And Seunghyun is this close to abandoning the drink in favor of smoking a cigarette when he sees the boy bend over, emptying a water bottle onto his head, because yeah, this is the cherry on top of his agony sundae isn’t it. “Fuck me,” he mutters under his breath, pushing off from the counter and fleeing to the relative safety of the sidewalk. He only relaxes once he feels rough brick digging into his shoulder blades, cigarette already lit and clenched between his teeth. Seunghyun isn’t 100% sure why he thought this would ever be a good idea. He likes spending time with Caroline, but under different circumstances, not surrounded by drunk strangers and loud music. He supposes it could have been worse. The unfairly attractive boy was a nice distraction from all the writing he wasn't getting done at home. All the staring at a blank word document until he broke down and went on Tumblr and reblogged shit til his eyelids weighed a thousand pounds.  Glaring at his feet, he listens to the voices of the people on the sidewalk around him, only looking up when the door swings open and out spills more bodies, one body in particular holding his interest. It's the DJ, in all his perfectly disheveled glory. Seunghyun realizes he's staring again a moment too late, caught like a deer in the headlights when the boy stops rummaging through the pockets of his khakis and lifts his head. It's one thing to watch someone from a distance, but to have them watch back? Seunghyun swallows, not sure what to do with those pretty eyes on his face or the way the boy’s mouth parts in a half-smile. So he smiles back instinctively and then drops his gaze. Wow, what? This never happens. And genuine panic doesn't set in until he glances up again to see the boy walking towards him.  "Can I have some?" comes the blurted question as soon as the boy is occupying his space, standing only a handful of inches away. Seunghyun freezes, fingers hovering in the air, and he almost snorts because seriously, who says that? He nods though, unable to speak when his throat is this dry, and pulls his pack of American Spirits from his back pocket. He actively ignores the fact that this kid has yet to look anywhere but at him. Seunghyun also ignores how much more intense it is to have him here instead of up in the DJ booth, separate and out of reach. But Seunghyun can very easily reach him now as he hands over one of his last few cigarettes and then flicks his lighter, holding the flame out to ignite the tip and inviting the boy to lean even closer. He observes as those full lips purse around the filter and blow smoke into the air around them. Lips Seunghyun thinks he would very much enjoy kissing.  There's an awkward pause and he also thinks he should probably say something instead of act like a huge creep. But he's distracted by a droplet of water trailing down the side of the boy's face. Seunghyun clears his throat, forcing himself to quit leering. "I, um, really liked your set," he sort of mumbles and amazingly doesn't wince at how stupid he sounds. The boy squints at him, eyes calculating, and responds with a curt, "Thanks." Seunghyun wonders what the hell he's supposed to do with that. Though his head starts to fill with a swirl of questions. Why did you choose me out of all the other smokers lining the sidewalk? Who are you? Tell me everything. Because there's something about the way this boy holds himself, like he's trying to project an image of what he wants the world to see. His posture keeps shifting from confident to uncertain and in the few minutes they’ve been standing there, Seunghyun has seen about a dozen different conflicting facial expressions. This, more than anything else, is what draws him in. He flicks ash onto the ground, noticing the pair of mint-green Converse, and it makes his mouth quirk at the corners. Seunghyun thinks about introducing himself, but that would be assuming the kid even wants to know. His chin lifts and he meets his gaze head-on, looking for any kind of sign that he should be making an effort regardless of how much he actually wants to. In the end, it’s the slight widening of the boy’s eyes that spur him into action. He’s still grappling for the right thing to say when he remembers the sprawling ink he'd been so interested in before.  “Do you have a favorite?” Seunghyun asks, gesturing to the half-sleeve on his forearm. The question earns him an unexpectedly wide smile, one that shows off pink gums and more of the person hiding underneath the facade. Seunghyun’s heart falters a little because he looks even more beautiful like this; real and accessible.  "I do," the boy replies, lips twitching and gaze coy. "But it's nowhere you can see right now." Seunghyun raises an eyebrow at that, fighting to keep his thoughts clean, but it’s a challenge when there’s already so much skin on display. He spots a smudge of something that isn’t permanent, though, something that looks like paint peeking out from the side of his striped tank top. Seunghyun experiences an odd thrill at discovering such a small detail of a life outside of this moment. And when his eyes catch on the boy’s fingers while he smokes, he finds the pigment caked in his bitten-down nail beds too.  It prods at his curiosity again, the pull of I really want to know you but I'm not sure why yet stronger than ever. Seunghyun decides he needs to keep talking. “So, are you an artist moonlighting as a DJ, or a DJ moonlighting as an artist?” But the boy seems to bristle at that, spine going rigid and nose wrinkling. "Neither," he says offhandedly as he averts his gaze. "So I take it you're an artist, then?” he asks, looking back at Seunghyun. “Takes one to know one right? And I've never seen any DJs who dress like you do." Seunghyun doesn't miss the pointed glance at his beat up sneakers and he laughs outright, startled by the judgment of his appearance. He can't really blame him for that though, he did just make an assumption out of basically nothing.  “No, I’m not an artist," Seunghyun chuckles, smirking. “I’m worse than that.” Surprising him yet again, the boy dissolves into fucking giggles and covers his face with the back of his hand. First defensive, now this? Seunghyun’s pretty positive he doesn’t know shit anymore, only that he’s losing himself with each passing second because that is quite possibly the most adorable sound to have ever come from someone else’s mouth. "You're clever," the kid says around another bright smile, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. It reaches his eyes and Seunghyun automatically returns it with one of his own. "A rare moment," he answers wryly. Seunghyun lets his cigarette fall from his fingers, toeing at the remnants on the ground and raking a hand through his hair. The reality of them standing there together on the cement, intimately close for strangers who only met a number of minutes ago, has his stomach fluttering. He's not exactly sure where to go from here, mostly just pleased that he hasn't completely jammed his foot in his mouth yet.  The boy abandons his cigarette too. And for a moment they're just kind of staring at each other. Seunghyun fidgets; toying with the hem of his plaid shirt and debating whether or not he's imagining the interest in those dark brown eyes.  "Wanna go back inside and grab a drink? Our bar's always well-stocked, I'm sure you'll find something you like." Seunghyun smiles a little. He wasn’t expecting this. But he sees the way the boy worries his bottom lip and maybe he's not actually alone in being nervous.  "Yeah, sure," he says, whiskey brave and hopeless. The boy visibly relaxes, which Seunghyun thinks is ridiculous. Was he afraid he’d say no? Because “no” is probably a word this kid doesn’t hear very often.  When they move away from the wall, he holds the door open, receiving a sidelong glance and a smirk for his efforts. Seunghyun trails in after him and sends a grin to the back of his head. He has no idea what he did to deserve this. No idea if it’ll go anywhere. And he’s experienced enough random hook-ups to know how easy it would be for this to end up the same. Seunghyun really wants it to be more.  Even though the club is totally swamped, they find a spot to ease into towards the far end. Seunghyun has to tell himself not to listen to his impulses and place his hand at the small of the boy's back like they’ve already done this a million times before. Though he doesn't really have to worry about that, because he's standing close enough to feel the curve of the boy's ass brushing against him when he bends over the bar. Seunghyun’s eyes shut briefly, pulse skittering at the contact, and he just breathes. A moment later, the same bartender from earlier is grinning at them from across the counter, heavily inked arms propped up on the solid wood. "Hey, it's Reservoir Straight," he greets, familiar. Seunghyun smiles, because it can’t be easy to remember someone’s exact drink order when it’s this crowded. Then he leans down, bringing his mouth to the boy's ear. There's still water dripping from his hair and Seunghyun feels the cool wetness of it on his cheek. "What do you want?" he asks, uncharacteristically bold as his chest connects with a warm back. The press of their bodies against each other is so satisfying that he considers staying there.  “I’ll have what you’re having,” comes the soft reply, and the boy turns his head, Seunghyun’s lips centimeters from his face. Another thrill carries through him and suddenly he can’t move. Can barely think. This close, Seunghyun picks up the scent of whatever cologne lingers on his skin. Musk and sweat. The combination is heady and it collects in the back of his throat. When he eventually looks up at the bartender to find a smirk curling onto his face, he feels so completely out of his depth, because yeah, he can play the game, but he’s been sitting on the bench for more than a year. “Two old-fashioneds,” he manages to say, glad that he doesn’t sound as unsteady as he feels. “I doubt that,” the bartender murmurs. Judging by the teasing expression on the guy’s face, Seunghyun figures these two know each other pretty well. It’s hard to pinpoint just how much when he can’t see both sides of what he imagines is a silent conversation. But all of that blurs when the crowd swells behind them and Seunghyun is being pushed into the boy’s body until his ass fits snugly into the cradle of Seunghyun’s hips. He almost rests his hands on the curve of his waist to catch himself. Almost. Though the bartender saves him from the embarrassment by shouting, “I’ll be right back,” over the noise of the club, his eyes narrowing and a lot less friendly as he scrutinizes Seunghyun before disappearing. Seunghyun seizes the opportunity to create some distance between them when someone vacates a bar stool. He doesn’t stray too far though, sliding up to brace himself against the counter, because taking too many steps away would leave him a bit off balance. And the fact that he’s putting his equilibrium in someone else’s hands when he doesn’t even know their name...Seunghyun is walking a very fine line. “Did I just get the overprotective friend treatment?” he asks once he finds his voice again, because that definitely felt like an appraisal. Also a warning. Which he gets, but it puts him on edge. “Marco?” The boy laughs, face lighting up as he shakes his head. “He’s harmless. Don’t let the tattoos fool you.” And then there’s a reassuring palm resting on top of Seunghyun’s. He blinks down at it, tracing the shape of the fingers over his, and tries not to be too disappointed when they go. Seunghyun chews on his lip and looks up. “I still don’t know your name,” he notes, hoping, at the very least, to take that home with him. There’s a beat, the music and the chattering voices around them filling their silence. For a second he’s not certain he’s going to get what he wants, but then he sees a shift in the boy’s pretty brown eyes. “You’re right. You don’t know my number either,” the boy says, mouth curving gently into the kind of smile Seunghyun is becoming increasingly fond of. “So here, let me fix that for you.” Watching him vault over the bar, arm muscles coiled tight and body fluid in motion, has Seunghyun chewing on his lip again. It’s hard not to fixate on the physical when this kid is so easy to look at. When his attention is constantly drawn to the way he moves and how that changes and Seunghyun can already see that it means something. That there are tells to be found. And even though they don’t know each other at all, he sees a language to be deciphered. Seunghyun wants to be fluent. He grins, though, when the boy slaps a bar napkin on the counter and starts writing; squints at the name appearing upside down. Jiyong. And the knowledge, the having of that name makes him feel infinitely light. "Jiyong," he repeats out loud, his eyes darting up to observe him on the other side of the bar. Jiyong Jiyong Jiyong. He can't stop thinking his name now that he has it. Jiyong raises his head, their gazes meeting, and they get stuck again. Seunghyun’s heart skips and pounds against his ribs. It’s been so long since he was caught in someone else’s gravitational pull. So long since there was anyone worth getting dizzy over. Jiyong looks like he’s about to say something when Marco reappears, locking Jiyong in a one-armed hug and pointing somewhere behind Seunghyun. “The DJ booth is over there, GD,” Marco taunts, words slow and deliberate like he’s talking to a small child. It reminds him a lot of Caroline and he holds in a laugh. With Jiyong no longer focused on him, Seunghyun narrows his eyes thoughtfully. The use of the nickname “GD” buries itself in his brain and he wonders what it stands for. Wonders if the back and forth from cocky to adorable meant he’d met more than one version of the confusing boy being manhandled in front of him.  Marco sets Seunghyun’s drink down, but doesn’t pay him any mind, too busy messing with Jiyong--telling him to get the hell out from behind the bar even though his arm is still wrapped around Jiyong’s neck. “Why are you being such an asshole?” Jiyong sputters, trying to free himself. “Let go of me. And give me my drink,” he adds, going for the other glass. Marco, sweetheart that he obviously is, holds it up high where Jiyong can’t get to it. Seunghyun continues to quietly observe and sips at his drink. He’s being third-wheeled, he knows that. He’s the intruder here. But the put-out look on Jiyong’s face when Marco doesn’t quit pestering him is worth it. So he smiles and doesn’t get annoyed, because he really isn’t. If anything, he’s jealous because he just wants Jiyong to himself again. Which is selfish and sort of needy and he doesn’t know what to do with that, either. In the middle of The Great Struggle, Seunghyun’s attention is diverted once again, but this time by Caroline. She appears more than a little stressed as she shoves in next to him at the bar, mouth pulled down in a frown, and Seunghyun listens distractedly as she begins to speak.  “Jesus, there you are,” she huffs, one palm pressed to her cheek. “I need you to do me a really really big favor.”  Seunghyun groans because this is not going to end well. “What happened?” “Marina’s tanked and Greg already went home and I still have to wait for Leo because...well, you know why.” Caroline gives him a pained smile and yes, Seunghyun knows why but he doesn’t like it. “So can you take her home? Please? I wouldn’t ask if I had any other options. I’m too afraid to put her in a cab alone and hope for the best, y’know?”  She lets out a shaky breath and he realizes she’s probably been freaking out about this for at least the last ten minutes.  “There’s no one else,” he sighs, not even posing it as a question because he knows the answer. Caroline shakes her head anyway. “Only because I know you’d blame me if anything happened to her. You’re lucky it’s not Greg. ”  Caroline laughs, beaming as she gives him a quick hug. “Thank you thank you thank you. She’s back at the table, come on.” But this is where Seunghyun hesitates. Caroline’s hand is at his elbow, already applying pressure to drag him back into the crowd of people and away from Jiyong. Which is something he absolutely doesn’t want even though he did agree to help. Seunghyun turns to the boy, eyebrows raised sort of helplessly. Caroline steps towards the bar when he doesn’t budge and Seunghyun sees the realization dawn on her face as she spies Jiyong behind the counter, eyes flickering between the two of them. Her mouth opens in a little ‘o’ and she rushes to apologize.  “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were...” She pinches the bridge of her nose, grip tightening on Seunghyun in her mortification. “Really. Shit.”  Seunghyun zeroes in on Jiyong again; can see the cockiness already there in his eyes. He knows exactly what’s happening and now he likes this even less. “Don’t worry about it,” Jiyong offers to Caroline, lips thinning in a ghost of a smile. One that doesn’t reach his eyes at all. He looks at Seunghyun and the aloof mask is firmly back in place. “See you around?” Jiyong asks, tone cool but not as even as he probably intended. For a few seconds there’s this moment where Seunghyun tries to pause time--forcing everything to still around him as he studies Jiyong and wonders why this is so hard. It shouldn’t be hard, and it’s silly that he even contemplates telling Caroline sorry, but not tonight. Seunghyun isn’t like that. He doesn’t burn the few bridges he has left for perplexing boys who are too attractive and too magnetic and clearly very dangerous. But the thought remains, the thought of staying. Jiyong is asking him to. And he can’t.  Seunghyun maintains eye-contact, allows the sounds of the bar to surge back into being, allows himself to feel Caroline’s fingers digging into his arm. He silently prays that Jiyong understands how much he doesn’t want to leave.  “Yeah,” he says finally, just loud enough to be heard, his mouth slanting apologetically. “I’m…” Seunghyun runs a hand through his hair yet again, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’m sorry.”  Heaving another sigh, he digs into his pocket to put some money down on the bar for both drinks--plus a generous tip for Marco--and hopes that it’s enough for now. Seunghyun lets himself be led away by Caroline, her apologies for cockblocking him drowned out in the noise of the club. He lets himself cast a final glance over his shoulder, as if to cement Jiyong's existence in his memory. And he lets himself believe in an alternate reality where things actually don’t fall to shit for once. Before he leaves, Seunghyun makes Caroline promise to make this up to him tenfold or he’s never talking to her ever again. It’s an exaggeration, but a part of him pretty much definitely means every word. Then he collects a spectacularly intoxicated Marina and works his way to the exit to hail a cab, leaving Caroline to deal with her own messy life.  Marina is petite but heavy when she can’t function like a normal human being and he ends up half-carrying her, holding her up on the curb where he wishes he could smoke a cigarette to calm his agitation. His resignation. His every negative thing because fuck. He can never win can he? He gets a cab to stop eventually and helps Marina into the backseat, giving directions since this is, in fact, not the first time that it’s happened. The small girl slumps into him, well on her way to falling asleep, and he lets her. Seunghyun just rests his forehead against the window as the cab drives off and the streetlamps and tree-shadows amble across his vision.  When they’re more than a mile away, maybe two, Seunghyun is still thinking about Jiyong...replaying every moment from the first time he saw him up in the booth. Only he doesn’t reach the end, because he gets hung up on that detail, that one ever-important detail of Jiyong writing his name on a bar napkin. But they both forgot about it. Seunghyun forgot the napkin. Forgot to have Jiyong finish scrawling his number right beneath. He closes his eyes, brows colliding as his face scrunches up in frustration. I am a fucking idiot, he declares to himself. In so many ways. The city continues to roll by. He hears it more than sees it, eyes still closed. He doesn’t want to give in to the defeat, because he has two things: Jiyong, and GD. He knows enough that maybe if he comes back he can risk asking Marco how to track him down. Maybe there’s a schedule on Alchemy’s website. He has options. The question is...will he be brave enough not to let it all fade? Not to slide right into his life as it was pre-Jiyong. Because that’s safe and Seunghyun’s default is safe. Safe is always easy and always constant and from what he can tell, Jiyong is the opposite of that.  Opening his eyes, Seunghyun stares blankly at the empty side-streets.  But that isn’t fair, is it? Jiyong is probably a lot of things. Good things. Important things. And he thinks he might have seen a hint of that tonight, underneath all the posturing.  It’s insane, he realizes, to want someone to be a part of his life when he doesn’t even really know who they are. Though Seunghyun still can’t stop himself from wondering. Or from remembering the way Jiyong had laughed; whole face lit up and glowing.  He releases a soft breath, watching the city blur, and decides that he has to try. Because if he doesn’t, he’ll never know for sure...right?  a/n 2: the second intro fic will be posted this coming saturday! <3