i (1/1)

Have you ever feel emptiness in your chest? Like something is missing… As if you lose something…Have you ever felt a bittersweet knot in the throat? Have you ever felt a huge need to cry and get mad because you can’t do it?Have you ever though about drop everything without even trying? Have you ever lost something that you never got? Have you ever felt down and you didn’t stand up?…No? … Never? Is weird to think like that about a friend, you know? All my life I been hearing that the friendships are not forever, that sooner or later the relationship will end, and I’ve always have fight against that judgment. I think is stupid when people say two persons can’t have a long relationship because one of them ends by falling in love to the other; it’s stupid, really stupid… but… it happens… I was sure that I would be over it with time… eventually; maybe it was because we use to be a lot of time together, always behind him, telling him to get ready, telling him what to do, making him pay attention. And is not because I had more attentions to him, Of course not!Is just that… After all, im the leader and I have to take care of all of them, right? Sometimes is hard to have under my supervision five guys when I’m not even the oldest, that’s why… sometimes, I just focus all my attention in just one… only in him… In LuHan.I don’t know if you understand… what I’m trying to say is that… is that I love to be around him.I love the way his eyes look when he is talking to someone, I love watching him smile, I love how he cracks when he laughs and at the end he hugs someone… Ah… sometimes I wish I could be by his side so that someone would be me, so I could feel his arms, his hands…When I think about that, I smile, thinking about him makes me smile… but suddenly… everything gets cold again…‘Don’t be silly Wu YiFan’ LuHan would never notice me, im a guy, he is a guy… What are the chances? It would end our friendship.It doesn’t matter how much I want to hug him… kiss him… touch him, confess my feelings will only get him away from me… ‘Kris… Kris…’ I looked at the door, and there was he, under de door frame, looking at me with those doe eyes.‘Yes?’‘Will you come to get some dinner?’I smile and got up, when I was in front of him I took him by the back of his head and I kissed his forehead; he look at me a little confuse but then he grabbed my arm and walked me to the kitchen.  Look, since some time ago I started to be more amorous with him, but I always taking my distance. I know he thought it was weird but seems like it doesn’t bother him.  We went to the dining room; everybody was already at the table. Luhan sat next to me, I couldn’t help be the entire diner watching him, and he sometimes looked back at me, smiling.   At the end of the diner, everyone left to their rooms; LuHan looked at me and smile again.‘Shall we go?’I nodded and just when he was about to stand up, I grabbed him by the wrist.‘Wait’ it’s now or never ‘I have to tell you something’‘whats wrong?’ I sigh and looked him at the yes wile I stand up.‘LuHan… I don’t know how you’ll take this… I don’t even need an answer… but I just need to tell you…’ ‘What is it? Yi Fan, whats wrong?’‘Since long time ago… I have feelings for you…’In that moment everything freezes, I was waiting for a horror look in his eyes, or a disgust look… but he looked at the floor, like… sad… Why?  ‘Wu Fan… I’m sorry… I’m… I’m with Yixing…’‘What?’Have you ever feel how metaphorically your hear breaks but it feels so real?‘We didn’t want to say anything… I’m sorry… I’m…’‘No, don’t be, like I said I wasn’t waiting for an answer… I just had to say it’  Lose a battle without fighting…Throw yourself into a hole full of water…Fall down and let you fall two more times…Hold your tears because ‘everything is fine’‘Good night LuHan’No? Never? It hurts…   A/N: Hello, thank you for reading my fanfic (: I just wanted to say that this is the first time a write something in english so i apologize if theres some mistakes >< i wrote this in spanish, and i translated myself. So i hope you enjoy it! (: again, thank you for reading it.