Chapter 22 (1/2)

I’m back! Hi!I’m sorry for not updating in 9 months… Damn… that’s long, so please do reread if you forgot the story. Like I said in my blog post, I did edit the previous chapters because there were just so much irrevelent info in the story and my sentences were weird, but fear not, I didn’t add anything new to them.And just like the title… This chapter is full of bombsEnjoy!  Bombs It was late at night now and Jungah just got home from the meeting. She shuffled to her bed, sitting down as she rubbed her face with wipes to get rid of the makeup. She later sighed once she was done and couldn’t help but chuckle because of the man she loved.

“Thank you and I’m sorry…” Jinki said as he was looking down. “Don't worry about it, just make sure you leave my name as it is so that they don't know we broke up because I’m pretty sure you haven't told any of them yet, right?” Jinki nodded. “Okay… I'll change it back.” With this, Jungah felt a tiny tingle but pushed it aside knowing she had to stop. “Okay, I’ll go now! Annyeong Jinki-ah!” She waved after Jinki had changed it back. Jinki bowed his head and while she was walking away he stopped her with what he said next. “I know… many of you think I’m slow to these types of things. But don’t think so… because I really am not.” And with that he left with a smirk. All Jungah could do now was chuckle on her way back.

“Aish… he really is an idiot…” She chuckled. She knew what Jinki meant, it was too obvious. She smiled at the thoughts of the future couple but what got her confused was when Jinki really found out. If he wasn’t an idiot he so claims himself to be then why did he agree to go out with her? “I swear… if that boy really thought he could use me to forget about Taemin I’m going to hit his head…” she mumbled as she took out her phone. To: Jinki Babe~♥From: JungahYah! If you knew why did you go out with me!? I swear Jinki, I’m going to kill you the second I see you! ***

Leaving the bathroom, Jinki was relieved from the talk he had with Jungah, knowing that he wasn’t so obvious he thought he was. He headed straight to the kitchen for quick snack but his phone interrupted his movements. When he saw who it was from he immediately clicked on it with a smile, not knowing the couple in the other room saw. He read it and laughed, knowing the girl at the other side was confused. To: Jungah♥From: JinkiAish… I didn’t go out with you to forget. I thought I already explained it to you? I didn’t know about it until two months ago, do you remember now? He was now sitting, laughing at how the woman can get so forgetful. To: Jungah♥From: JinkiI think you were a bit distracted with how good looking I am, don’t you think? He didn’t need to wait long for a reply when he sent the second one. To: Jinki babe~♥From: JungahOh, so you’re going there huh??? Please don’t be so full of yourself, I wasn’t distracted, I guess I just wasn’t paying attention considering you were flushed red! Now would you like me to remind you why? Jinki knew she was teasing and called her instead since texting was a hassle when eating. “Yah, I was not and I certainly don’t need a reminder, I’m in front of them so please don’t, you’re going to get me red again.” He mumbled but the others heard and misinterpreted it. “You just gave me a great idea Jinki-ah~ Oh don’t you just want to go back to that rooftop of yours?” She teased. She teased some more knowing the boy was blushing right now, it was obvious with the change of tone in his voice as he was telling her to shut up, literally. The others never got to hear Jinki talking like this with her. It made them all wonder if it was really Jungah he was talking to, to begin with. They’ve never really seen Jinki joke around with her or heard him say things like “shut up” or “I swear, you’re going to hate it when you see me” or anything along those lines. It was weird. He wasn’t using that tone he always used with her, you know, that kind of tone you use when you talk to someone you’re in love with? That tone. Instead it was a friendly-like tone they always heard whenever they joked around in the dressing rooms. “Noona, why are you doing this? You don’t think I don’t know things about you also, do you?” Jinki was the one to tease now. “What are you talking about, I bet you don’t know a thing about me” She replied but it was obvious she was nervous, for all she knew Jinki never gave his attention to her. “Oh… I don’t know noona. Should I say it? Are you alone right now? ‘Cause you know… you might turn red~” Once again the members heard what Jinki said while he was now heading to his room. But what surprised them was that Jinki came back just to say ‘goodnight’ to all of them, leaving them looking at the direction he left. “Was… was that hyung right now?” Minho mumbled. “I think so…” Jonghyun replied. “I don’t think so you guys… that’s not Jinki hyung… that was a doppelganger…” Taemin ended with a dumbfounded face. This only led Minho to throw a pillow at him. “Wah… Taemin-ah, out of anything you could’ve said, you said that, I swear… you’re something else.” Minho chuckled. “What, it’s possible! Hyung never says that anymore and it’s just shocking that he did so now!” The maknae laughed along flailing his arms around. “Maybe, hyung just forgot the other times and remembered now?” Key added as well as laughing at how comical the maknae looked.

***

“Okay, what is it? Tell me, what do you know about me?” “That you and my friend Lee Joo— hold on a sec noona” Jinki stopped right at his door when he heard the members, chuckling at what the younger had said about him. “Noona, they just said I was a doppelganger of myself just because I said ‘goodnight’ did I really forget to say that to them all this time?” He shared with a chuckle. “Well… maybe you were captured by the love I gave you? That’s why you constantly forgot. Hmm?” Jungah joked, trying to take Jinki’s mind off of what he was saying in the first place. No one else needed to know about her and his friend. They talked for awhile longer, Jinki completely forgetting about teasing the woman and Jungah being thankful for it.  “Noona, I’m gonna go, don’t miss me too much, okay?” Jinki joked this time. Once the call was over he lied on his bed thinking about the members’ thoughts about him. I guess I really did forget about them… Aish Jinki, you’re the leader! He later fell asleep, being tired about the whole day. He was glad he really did end up in good terms with Jungah, it felt nice to let his thoughts out to someone. He knew for sure that everything from now on was going to change and he was completely confident that this change will be positive.

***

A couple of weeks later Jinki, Jungah and Joon were now hanging out with each other more often. Having to know Jinki’s secret, the other two got to freely tease him. Joon had thought that Jinki stopped his feelings for Taemin considering he dated the woman beside him now, but he knew he was wrong from their past meetings.

He felt that something was odd about the two, they didn’t act as if they were dating (which he was glad for), they acted as if they were really good friends, just friends. On that day he couldn’t take that his thoughts kept screaming that the two weren’t dating so all of the sudden he blurted out “when did the dating stop, I want answers now”, Jinki laughed at his friend for being too serious while Jungah was shocked at the outburst. “Ended a month and a half ago, am I right?” Jinki replied as he looked at Jungah, in which she nodded. “So… how come I don’t know about it?” Joon asked. “Well… noona is helping me with something, so I might as well help her back, right Jungie~” Jinki teased toward the female singer, having a crunched up paper towel thrown at him by the woman. “Lee Jinki, I’m going to kill you.” “I’m guessing your members don’t know about the breakup?” Joon threw, not minding about what the other two were talking about, he knew where it was going anyway. “Bingo.” Joon didn’t need anymore explanations, from the looks of it, Jinki was going to be happy, so he didn’t bother with it.

They were now at Jungah’s place and were just lounging around having nothing to do for the night. Just when Jinki was about to say he was going to head home, Jungah sat up “Jinki-ah, I know we talked about how you found out about Taemin again but can you at least share it in full detail? I mean, Joon and I are curious.” in which the said boy agreed. “Well… let me try to remember what really happened that day…” Jinki sat back down, thinking about how to start. “It was that day you called to have me over, I stayed here until it was really late, do you remember?” asking the girl, in which she nodded. “Well… that day, when I was leaving the dorm I remembered I forgot something and wanted to go back to get it. I was at the door and overheard what they were all talking about. I remember what Kibum had said… and that’s when I knew I still didn’t forget about him.” Jinki ended. “Forget about your feelings?” Joon asked in which Jinki nodded. “Okay and? What did he say, you can’t just end the story there.” Joon immediately complained.

I went back to the dorm to get what I forgot. I didn’t get to go in and get it since I heard Key say something out of the ordinary, so instead I stopped in the hallway. “Seriously Tae, I don’t know how you get through all of this.” I didn’t know what he was implying and I know it wasn’t nice to eavesdrop but I needed to know what was happening in the group so I stayed. Then I heard Taemin reply “through what?” I waited for what was going to come considering what was being said wasn’t enough to give me any ideas. That’s when I heard Key snap “this! Hyung being oblivious to your feelings and you pretending that nothing can hurt you whenever he's around! And don't even act all innocent on me Mr. Lee Taemin! I'm beginning to think that you may be the alien of this group instead of this frog over here because of how you cope with all this." I was surprised at what I heard, I knew then that I really wasn’t suppose to be listening. Knowing that they were all hiding it from me made me realize that I may have been wrong in the past. But still… I couldn’t help but listen to more, I mean, I needed to make sure. “I don't have any reason to not be okay, right? I mean... I knew he was never mine. So I have no reason to cry, right? When I sat back down from refilling my drink, I told myself that I should give up knowing it's too late anyway. I know I've been waiting for years for him to find out my feelings on his own because I didn't have the balls to say or write it to him. I had many chances to tell him, but I screwed those chances up. It was my lost. I'm giving up, because I know he's much more happier with her. Have you even seen his smiles these past few weeks? I don't want to take that away. Also, I now know that I don't have a chance with him fully knowing that he's into girls and not guys." From that, I teared up and I knew I messed up, when I thought he was happy because of others, I was the one making him happy. I broke his heart a bunch of times but he was still in love with me. I knew he still wasn’t done and now I knew he had more to say so I stayed. "All three of you... I guess maybe except Jonghyun hyung found out my feelings for Jinki hyung over a year ago. That was the time you guys still saw me as a child. But now, you guys view me as a full grown adult all because of this. Maybe... just maybe hyung still thinks of me as a child. Plus if ever he thinks of marrying her or any other woman, I'll be there to support him." His voice was breaking and all I wanted to do was run up to him and comfort him like I used to do. "I'll be there to support him as the long time friend he always had” He sniffed “not as his stupid dongsaeng who fell in love with him. I'll be there because I want him to be happy knowing that he has us by his side when he steps into a new life with a wife." By this time, he was openly sobbing and it broke my heart. Having to know that the person I secretly loved was in love with me and was heartbroken because of me made me feel like I shouldn’t be the one he was loving. When I heard silence, that’s when I left quietly. Sitting in my car, I cried, just knowing that I might’ve ruined the chance to be with him all this time made me feel like an idiot who didn’t know about the love he was talking about. That was the moment I knew I still loved him.