Chapter Nine (1/1)

A/N: SHORT UPDATE. You might want to go back a couple chapters for memory. Please read A/N at the end.--Kyungsoo stays over at their shared apartment for the next couple weeks, taking care of Jongin and Luhan and making sure the place is spotless of any mess. Being the energetic ball of sunshine he is, Kyungsoo never fails to make Luhan smile or laugh, whether it'd because of the former's bickerings with his boyfriend or just the way he acts. It's a charm of Kyungsoo's, and Luhan is forever grateful of the latter.However, despite the amount of power Kyungsoo holds in forcing happiness into Luhan's life, there are still places in his head brimming with darkness - a forbidden area in his mind that even the brightest star couldn't glow in. This is why even when the blonde is bending over with laughter, sadness still haunts his being and echoes loudly into his small ears, withholding some of the genuinity that comes with his joy. And this is also why it's almost a given when Luhan wakes up one morning feeling completely unrefreshed, and to put it bluntly, sad. Something inside him is missing and no matter what he does to fill it up, the hole only grows, fed by the blonde's imcompetence to smile on his own. It's been a week since the job interview, and it still hasn't faded in his memories. He can still clearly feel the beating of his heart and the embarrassment that followed then, the fear of looking into neither Joonmyeon's nor Jongin's eyes.They never got the callback.And it haunts Luhan, still. And it's not like Luhan didn't see it coming. Considering the fact that he's still a long term sufferer of anxiety, he understands that it won't stop affecting him until maybe - well, never.But, just like the dark thoughts that never seem to want to leave his brain alone, the image of a certain seventeen year old boy is still alive and vivid in his mind. A complete juxtaposition from the usual negativity lurking around in his head.He hasn't seen the latter in nearly a month, and he almost goes crazy from lack of touch. Anyone could say it was more of lack of affection, though, to the fact that Luhan touches Jongin all the time yet he still feels empty. That just makes his desire grow, emotions taking over physical need to touch that damned seventeen year old, and Luhan feels lost because he can't feel anything in his heart other than heaviness right now. He's desperate.Luhan sits up in bed slowly while turning his head, noticing his sad shadow on the wall opposite from the window by his bed and he stares, nothing motivating him to actually get up. He cranes his head a little towards the bright red digits on his bedside table. 8:04. Jongin would be at work right now, except for the fact that he got fired a couple months ago, which explains why he was so excited that day when he suggested they apply to the theater. Luhan is just so fucking glad that Jongin still keeps in touch with his aunt, who sends in money every month to pay off taxes and bills. Along with that, Kyungsoo also pitches in with extra money for food and little gifts, his heart too big to let his boyfriend and his best friend suffer. However, that only angers Luhan more. Fuels on more hatred towards himself, that because of him, Jongin has to face the shame of leeching off on his aunt and his boyfriend only to keep his and Luhan's ass dry until shelter. It haunts him all the time. The fact that Jongin could be living with his aunt right now, if it wasn't for Luhan who Jongin cares so much about. Jongin's aunt lives in a tiny apartment, barely big enough for her. Jongin could've potentially lived with her though, but he didn't. Because Luhan would have nowhere to stay then. The lady's apartment way too tiny to fit two grown men and a middle age woman. Luhan bows his head, why did he have to think of that unfortunate reality now? He drops back down on the bed and pulls his white covers over his head, wishing he could die right then and there. His heart clenches at how Jongin must feel. Luhan is a selfish bastard, that's what he thinks. He doesn't do anyone any good.Before he could sink deeper into his depression, a soft knock echoes throughout the room and causes Luhan to jump up a little in surprise. He uses his arm to fold back the comforter from his face, his lower body still half covered. "Yeah?" His voice is hoarse but he doesn't care.The door opens a little and a brown bed of hair pops in through the crack, big owl eyes staring at Luhan's still figure under the pile of blankets. Luhan notices the boy and sits up in bed once again. His body suddenly feels really heavy, so he decides to lean against the headboard for support. "Hey, Kyungsoo." Still hoarse."Luhan! Yay, you're awake. I was just wondering if you'd like to go out for breakfast with us. A new café just opened up a couple blocks away and they sell the best waffles, I heard." Kyungsoo beams so brightly, the sun outside the window looks dull in comparison. He doesn't wait for Luhan to answer and enters the