oh no, sh.t! (1/1)

“chaerin the sad story are not yours, it’s mine, and again and again i want you to hear my apologize, i am so sorry, and i’m sorry right now i just can say those sorry because i can’t find another less-cliche than ‘sorry’ oh my god , what am i doing?! Okay sorry for wasting your precious time, bye” And silence fill the kitchen ......... and i just stand here, didn’t really know what to do , am i really missing him?! Yes i do And i silently pray to god for oppa to call again, i can’t stop the urge to hear his voice I count soundlessly One, two,...  “chae! ...... i.... i’m just ........ sorry ........... i can’t.......i can’t stop untill i hear your voices,but it’s perfectly alright if you won’t pick up the phone.....i am now trying....... and i want you wait for me, please wish me luck, i am now making effort to........ to...... well......... days with no u is weird, chae, i bother you didn’t i? Sorry, bye” And it end again, i didn’t stop to pray to god for him to call me again but this time........ he didn’t i wait in the same position  and there’s no cue about him , and bom glancing at me every 2 second and stick her tongue out while laughing, i know , i know, i'm so stupid for waiting jiyong to call again, and she mock me, poor me, i was about to throw myself at the couch when i hear something “damnit i can’t help but calling you , i just figuring out that your home number is still the same, i hope so because , it’s not even funny if you change it, or you moved out and this number’s owner is no longer lee chaerin but an old man with white hair and no teeth hahahaha he would think i am a crazy guy on his old rehab haha, you know this guy is so longing laughing around with you, pleas--‘yongie, the green tea latte is ready!’ , o, wait , ‘just put it on the table, thanks to you’ hi, i’m back , you know what chae,i can’t even....... ‘ji stop , just stop calling strangers please’ ....... but she’s not stra--‘she is not there, she don’t want you, now come here’ ugh, chae, she probably right about you..... well but i hope it’s you, bye!”  did i hear a female voice on the background? Though it’s so low but my ears is working perfectly to sense the voice “WHAT?!!” i blink several times, is there a girl with him?! Who?! Shit that jerk!! But i just stay still and hope he can’t stand the curiousity of this phone number, please keep trying please keep trying ji, talk to me again! I want to kill you! One,two,three.... “chaerin! Sorry but i can’t stand...... i’m just so curious about this number.........i can’t stand to call  this number eventhough she tells me not to call you but i mis--- ‘ji don’t be such a broken down guy all over again’  (wait, why this girl so annoying!! Told him to do this and not do this, who the hell is she) i curse silently but i want to talk to her! and......... i am so damn curious, hhhh okay chae.. i think i really should stop calling yo—“ REALLY?! HE LISTEN TO WHAT THAT GIRL SAID?! AMAZING FUKING AMAZING! I can hear that little girl’s voice ji i swear i can hear it!!! and i know he put the phone on the loudspeaker mode And anger take ahold of me and the glass on my hand just slip unreasonably , it’s cracking voice can be heard all over the room “chaerin?”  what?! How could he.......... , i look at bommie who holding into the phone on the table..... she put it on a speaker mode too...... perfect! “jiyong go away and don’t try to call me” i said imediately with a sigh and i know that’s makes bom gone mad “chaerin! Wait no! Don’t hung up i want to talk with you” “what? Talk with me,no! Jiyong did you hear a broken glass just now?! You know when you broke a glass into pieces ,could you be able to fix it to it’s basic form?! To it’s shape before it got broken? Could you?! It cannot be fixed like before, so do i! I am broken and i can’t never be fixed, especially by you, now please go away and don’t show your face to me ever again!” i unplugged the telephone and i turn it off , and tears start to forming up again, I AM FED UP GOD! GOD what am i realy talking about now? What broken glass chaerin?! Is that even necessary ?? you just tell him that you’re so weak Bomie come to me and hug me “i know what’s happening, i know what’s the point of your problem , i can see it obviously...... now let’s settle down, cooling down, and i will tell you what it is, oooh my chae........ don’t cry” i don’t know why but bom could give me a feeling of safe, she’s just like my siblings, really? She know what’s my problem even when i didn’t tell her ? i calming myself down and sit on the sofa with my eyes closed, i don’t want to cry over him, no! “chaerin....... i know what’s really happen between you two” she look me in the eyes , and she laugh softly , why?! “what’ i murmur slowly “you two are still perfectly into each other, i mean....... well you try to get away from him to get that another happiness you seek , you try to get away from him because you don’t want to be hurted ever again , but now you can see what’s really happen , you aren’t geting anything like happiness, you just drawning into a sad story and you’re trapped there, can’t smile , can’t happy, you know why? Because he is your happiness, that’s so simple” “no,but—“ “shhhh.... that’s it! You are ssssooo fuking jealous when you hear a girl voice just then, and you cannot lie about it because i was there perfectly watcing you, you mad so badly just because he did what that girl told him to, you are totally mad about it , you loose your control and let the glass on your grip slipped and broken into pieces, even you tell him frankly that you are in jealousy, you tell him that you are so broken that you can’t never be fixed”"THAT'S IT BOMMI I JUST TELL HIM THAT I AM SO WEAK WITHOUT HIM!!! WHAT TO DO?!!!" i screamd in my pillow , iheld back my tears , since i am so fed up with itI drowned in silence i can’t even think straight, maybe my bestfriend is right, bommie is right, it’s a maybe not a yes , i stay quiet and bom just laugh while sipping on her smoothies “oh come on you had me here, the love expert, you souldn’t take a decision to breaking up with jiyongie because i think it’s not what you need, really, honestly , i swear, you take things seriously too fast , you can’t wait for him to change to be what you expected him to be, seriously, go back to his arm now like right now!” my eyes widening, how could she say that? I take things seriously too fast?!! Like really?!! Finally, i’ll take a stand for myself now, i stood up and put my hands on my hips “bommie, listen carefully to me now, please..... do you think jiyong is a good person that has no flaws but the endless flawless life? You are so damn wrong bom! I’ve waited! And i think the  patience of mine is enough to wait him, he never changes, and....... i take things seriously and too fast?! Your boyfriend is hovering around the nightclub and you are not worried , i mean as a girl, seriously even if i’m not that girly,cute,lovely or whatsoever girl, i’m still a girl, your boyfriend had some make out session with strangers , with hoes, do you think i’m selfish? Why are you on his side now?!” and she let out a giggles, and that’s makes me want to throw up, saying those words is ease away all my energy because i need to recalling what was happen in those hell “chaerin......... it’s not that... i.... me... hhhh okay forget it, my hands are itching i want to picking my noose, go away”I laugh and hit her back “you are such a pain in the ass , bommie!” i scream and laugh, she always makes serious things got better and less-serious , but i realize something This isn’t right “so, are you now blame it all me? I’m the faults in our relationship? I’m the wrong person ? really? Hellyeah!!” i rolled my eyes and pout “no! Of course not! For your case, jiyong is also fault but that didn’t mean that you are innocent, you both are the faults in your own relationship, that’s it!” “why me??? The faults is all on him!” “here you goes, chaerin, honestly,i just trying to open your mind one sec ago and you behave like this?! Snap snap chaerin darling! Don’t you listen to me and every single damn story i told you just then? Hellyeah!!” “it’s not like....... erghhh , okay fine!” I cross my arm and just quiet but no one talk after my defence  “so you think that i need to go back to him?” i asl her slowly “no, i suggest you try to had another boyfriend, a good one, you see how it's going, but i bet you will bored, hahaha, i didn’t told you to throw yourself back at him, but maybe a chance wouldn’t be a burden for you” “yes it’s a burden!” “ aahhh i’m tired talking to a rockhead chaerin! I’m off let’s call it off today bye!” “NO WAIT SORRY!!!” “but still...... he is wrong, he.... hurts me....... he makes me want to hurt him back, to feel the same pain...... but bommie........ i really just want to get away from him now” “if that’s what you want then it’s totally fine, but don’t blame anyone if you’re not going to be happy and feel happiness” “you know what bommie? You look like you’re on his side” i frown at her and pouted ‘eeeeh why would i?!”