Chapter 1 (1/1)

There were knocks heard but Sungjong could only ignore it. He was not that unable. He was just… lazy? He knew his hyungs were finding the old him. The real him. The he that was known as the maknae of INFINITE. The he that the hyungs used to tease. The he that liked to dance girl group dance. Nevertheless, he just not sure. What he acknowledged at his hometown was just too shocking for him.          Sungjong immersed himself deeper in his blanket and hugged his stuffed white toy tighter. He heard the sound of a bunch of keys. He knew the hyungs were unlocking the door. He shut his eyes and even had a faint singing of Woohyun’s Close Your Eyes. He pretended to sleep when he heard Sungyeol’s calling.          “He’s sleeping, Dongwoo hyung,” said a voice, which confirmed as Sungyeol’s.          Sungjong even held his voice so that no one could even suspect he wasn’t sleeping. He heard footsteps getting nearer to him. His blanket was lifted until to his shoulders and it was Myungsoo who did it. Myungsoo stared at his white fluffy face for a while before he covered Sungjong’s shoulders and neck back. He made his way to Sungyeol at the entrance.          “He is not sleeping. I know,” Myungsoo insisted, which caused Sungjong to startle. How the hell Myungsoo found out?          “I feel the same too,” Dongwoo crossed his arms. “It’s okay. We can keep some of the spaghetti for him in case if he is hungry later.”          The hyungs exited Sungjong’s room. Sungjong directly got up right after he was sure Myungsoo and Sungyeol had gone out. He panted as he was holding up his breath just now. He took in breath and let out calmly. He still could breathe in relax.          Breathe in relax?          He did?          Sungjong patted his own chest. He sighed.          Sungjong laid back on his bed. He did not have the mood to eat his breakfast. Dongwoo might want him to hear that the breakfast for the maknae was available that he purposely said it aloud. Sungjong knew the hyungs wanted the old him but he was too frustrated. Too much hurt that he had had all these while. He was afraid that he could not make it right.          He just afraid.          He only needed to let everyone knew.          But would he?          “Sungjong-ah,” this time it was Sunggyu knocking the door, “Your spaghetti is getting cold,” he uttered while knocking.          Sungjong honestly was a bit surprised. He slowly removed his blanket and walked to the door. Sungyeol had not locked it back. So he locked it and produced a click sound. The sound was obvious and it was impossible if Sunggyu could not hear it.          “Sungjong-ah,” Sunggyu called his name out.          Sungjong stood there quietly. He got to wait for Sunggyu until the leader went away. Though it seemed as if Sunggyu was doing the same thing like what Sungjong was doing. Practically they waited for each other.          “Sungjong-ah,” Sunggyu repeated, this time his voice was as angelic as he was not used to be. He never talked that soft to anyone. It was the first time. Sungjong even dilated his eyes. “I know you are behind this door. Do listen to me. I mean,” he paused, “Sungjong, if you get mad at us, let us know. Tell us. Tell me. Please.”          Sungjong cupped his mouth. Did Sunggyu really say ‘Please’? Did he? Did he really do it?          “Hy-” yet Sungjong hesitated again. He was determined before not to let any of INFINITE members knew till the right time had arrived. He had promised himself.         “Sungjong-ah,” Sunggyu spoke again. His voice had become hoarse. He was crying probably. “We are craving to know what really was happening. Was your family caused you to be like this? Or did we depress you? Just tell us.”          “Hy-” ‘You’re innocent’, but the line was remained in his mouth. Sungjong could not say it out loud. His tears gradually welled up.          “Sungjong-ah,” Sunggyu snorted in, “The spaghetti is getting cold. Better you dig it in.”          Then, Sunggyu left the spot. Sungjong leaned his back against the door and sobbed. He shoved his fist to hide his voice while sobbing so that no one could hear him even though he was practically alone in the room. He then sat on the bare floor, sobbed more and ended up lying on the floor.          It hurt him. So much.          “Hyungdeul…” Sungjong gasped.