Married (1/1)

Why am I agreeing to this? Hmm...I don’t even know it myself but one thing for sure; I am just his second choice.  I am not the one he love.  He doesn't love me nor does he hate me.  He just doesn't have any feeling towards me and I know it.  He just goes with the flow....maybe. Why am I here? Nobody forced me to do this. We get married with simple ceremony attend only his and my family.  Just changing rings no kisses involve not even once.  Why we get married? Is it because I love him?  Yes I do love him.  One sided love from a long time ago. We were childhood friend.  Cliché right to fall in love with your childhood friend? Am I strong enough to go through with this?  I need to fight it alone.  Fight for what?  His heart.  Fight with who? Someone who not even alive.  Yes, she's dead already and yet I still need to fight with her. His first love already dead and like my friend said, we can't win over dead people. We used to be friend but since we married, we live like a stranger. We live in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, yet he never care to talk to me at all.  Every day I wake him up, prepare his breakfast, he ate it, go to work, return from work, I prepare dinner, he ate it, he go to sleep and I sleep next to him yet he never touch me. After 7 months it still like that. Opss I forget to mention, every weekend he will visit her grave or out to their old dating places until late night reminiscing their old past. =================================================================================== One night Yunho return home, drunken.  It's on her death anniversary. "Where have you been?" Jaejoong asked. "Argh shut up! Don’t talk to me." shouted Yunho "I am your wife, I care about you." said Jaejoong calmly. "Why the heck that you choose to marry me?” asked Yunho suddenly. "Why the heck that you not disagree about it?" Jaejoong start to get angry. "I'm not in love with you and never will." said Yunho coldly crushing Jaejoong’s heart more than before. "Do you think I want to be like this? Do you think I choose to love someone who doesn't love me? If I can control all that, I would rather choose not to meet you in the first place!!" said Jaejoong clenching his fist. His heart hurt. "When she's gone, she took my heart together understand?" "Owh. So you remember she's already gone..dead. So you should know that you will never have her..." PANG!!!..Yunho slapped him. "Don't you ever badmouth her!" "Badmouthed? I'm just stating the fact. ARGH!!! FORGET IT!" screamed Jaejoong. Should I stay? Hell no. Jaejoong walks away from their bedroom to the front door and left.