Fin (1/1)

"So little to say but so much time,Despite my empty mouth, the words are in my mind.” Here I am, relaxing on my criminally comfortable couch in our apartment's living room, while watching my douche girlfriend cooking us breakfast.I love weekends.And her cooking.And her, of course.I let my fingers dance as their wish on the remote, and let my eyes along with the few brain cells I have left to function in deciding what show is decent enough to watch. Because the rest of my brain cells were assigned to drool at my girlfriend.Some multitasking I have to do.I call out to her, asking when will she bring her high quality breakfast before me. She replies with that flat, uninterested tone, assuring that our meal won't be given to George. The dog from next door.Well, she always been the nonchalant one, and I'm the bright, outgoing, and loud one. What the hell am I thinking describing myself with that gross term or 'bright'? Shit.Oh well, some couple we are.Just as she promised, my food finally comes. It's American style breakfast, scrambled eggs, pancakes, bacons, and some toasts. Very rare though, she wants to cook western style."Wow, we need to celebrate," I grin foolishly despite my sarcastic advise."It's unfair if I never cooked you your favorite, isn't it?" she smiles warmly. It's cute. “Please wear the face the one where you smile,Because you lighten up my heart when I start to cry,” We sit side by side on the sofa as we indulge Chef Taeyeon's meal, entertained by the classic humor from the Tom & Jerry show. I don't even know they still air this show, or maybe I'm just too busy with my perfect life. You may read that as Taeyeon.I finally finish my breakfast, I ate it very well of course. Then, as a good girlfriend, I take the initiative to wash the dirty dishes.But, Taeyeon doesn't want that.She holds me by my arm when I start to get up from my seat. "No," she said. "Let me do the dishes, I haven't finished anyway,""It's fine, Tae. I'll wash yours too. Just finish your meal, and I'll be back, okay?" making breakfast was a hassle enough, so I definitely don't want her to fuss through the dishes.She unusually takes a long pause after my remark, so I just leave her for the kitchen and wash my plate and other stuffs that I even forgot they exist if someone's cooking.She finally comes to the kitchen, with the plate on her right hand. Instinctively, I take the plate off her hand and get a surprised Taeyeon as a response."You just relax, let me do the cleaning," I tell her as I'm busied with a huge number of unbelievably dirty plates and cooking utensils."Why?" another strange question. She usually gets ecstatic if I volunteer to do the house chores. Then mocks me for it."Well, you already cooked. So it'll only be fair if I clean, right?" I smile at her, hoping it'll comfort her despite the questioning before. ... I decided to make ourselves a dessert, to sweeten up our tongues and if I'm lucky, our romance. I know it's cheesy and disgusting. But what can I do? I'm crazy for her."Ta-da!" she looks surprised even more than when I took her plate, what a dork."Wow, that looks delicious!" good! She loves it. "What is it?" wrong move, Taeyeon Kim.I pout and she laughs very hard at me. I don't know why she does that. Very often.Maybe bullying is always in her anyway, just like Jessica, my best friend. She lives just down the block."Of course I know what it is," she tries to breath properly after that menacing laugh she had."You're such a naughty girl, Taeyeon Kim,"She only grins dorkily and says, "Let's diggin'," “This love has dried up and stayed behind...And if I stay I'll be alive then choke on words I'd always hide,” Our dessert time was somewhat silent, well not completely, since I'm the one who's loud. I talked of course. A lot.But that's just it, I don't know if my story was a bore to her, or not thrilling enough to get her attention. In our circle, she's not the one who has this hobby of zoning out.And now she's just playing with the cake. The cake that I made, mind you."Taeyeon," she jerks up her head, the third surprised reaction this morning. "are you okay? You look so uptight this whole morning,"She exhales quite loudly, "How to put this.. should we talk about it?""We promised to talk about anything years ago, so why not?" yes, I'm talking about the time before we get together, we kind of promised about many dos and don'ts for our relationship. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but we managed to get through it.Until now, three years later."Do you realize that lately I've been very annoying?" a random start, what are you trying to say?"Define annoying?" specific is a necessity."Last month, I complained about living in America,""You always complain about living in America,""But not after our eighth month after we live here," I raise my eyebrows at her, but she complains more, just like she wants to be blamed. "Then, a few days later I blamed you and treated you like shit just because a laundry matter.""Well, you did overreact though, for something you've been facing for almost every week," there I see a slight relief on Taeyeon's face. Strange.Oh. My. God.Maybe she does want to be blamed."What is this, Tae?" I encouraged myself to say it, even though I'm not prepared on hearing what Taeyeon has to say. At all.Slowly her hand floats and touches mine, and as usual, her touch is always soft.Though today, it's rather different.There's no warmth."Tiffany.." that face. No.This expression of hers is the one I've only seen once in my life. It was when I was about to move back to America."I...I'm sorry," no, Taeyeon Kim.It was when she decided to let me go and didn't even want to fight for me. Just because a damn distance.Or at least fought for our love. “Excuse me first love, but we're through.I need to taste the kiss from someone knew.” The sound of bustling clothes and hangers fills my ear effortlessly, while I can just sit in the corner of our- no, my couch with that saddening kind of music, and not be able to do anything with my power.I don't even have the right for her anymore.All I can do is weep to cover those noises that telling me very clearly that she's not coming back.Ever. "I'm sorry, Tiffany. But I just don't love you anymore,"Her voice was cold, she wasn't even feeling sorry for saying that."I can swear to you there's no other girl...or guy."Yeah, right. The words that don't even want to get out of my head.But I just couldn't argue with her, and that's exactly why she decided to pack up her things. I cry harder. Again for the sake of my sanity, so that I won't hear those voices, telling me that I'm unwanted, telling me that I'm a bore, telling me that I can't be loved.Her figure suddenly appears between the blur images that my eyes projected through the tears. She's holding onto a luggage while the other arm carries her coat.God, no, this isn't happening."Why, Tae?" my voice's trembling, she just freezes in her position. "What did I do wrong?"She sighs, "Nothing you've done wrong, Tiffany,""I swear I'll fix it. Please don't leave me,""There's nothing for you to fix,""I'll do anything, Tae...""There's nothing you can do," now her tone is raising, and I know exactly what that means. "I just don't love you anymore,""But, why?""Damn it, Tiffany! Can't you just get it?! There's no 'why' or 'how' or every other question that has been lining up in your pretty brain that able to give you a freaking answer!" you don't have to shout, Tae. I can hear just fine.I hug my knees tighter after her burst of anger, then bury my head onto my already wet thighs.And cry.I just can't do anything but cry."Goodbye, Tiffany."No. I don't want to see her walking out that door and never look back."Don't go..." “Forgive me first love but I'm too tiredI'm bored to say the least and I..I lack desire..” "Goodbye."Please, come back.        Comment, please?xoxo :)-T!