Euthanasia (1/1)

“Blood pressure dropping, the patient is losing a lot of blood.”I thought I heard it.“Doctor, patient is suffering from a cardiac arrest.”Did that meant that I was going to die? The monotonous beeping sound was making me terrified.“Prepare for defibrillation.”I felt something pressing against my chest, so lifeless and mechanical that I started to hold some form of suspicion, paranoid if it could really resuscitate me.“Prepare 50 V/cm.”“Preparation complete.” My heart started to ache, but I barely felt alive. My body was cold and limb, but yet at the same time, I felt so relieved of my burden, of all the faults that I had caused. My mind started wandering off to the corridors just outside the operation theatre, feeling so uncertain of my own expectations. I wanted Jongin to be there, but at the same time, I was too terrified that it might be too overbearing for him. It was then when I reminded myself of the things that I had almost forgotten, about his back problem that bothered him quite a lot at time.The pressure was applied to my chest once again—this time, it started to hurt. At the first note of my pulse fluctuating, I pleaded for it to be taken away.I didn’t know how to face Jongin or Taemin; maybe even my own mirror reflection.“Operation success” was the last thing I heard as someone pushed me out of the room. They may have not heard my pleas of suicide; if only I could wake up and disconnect myself from the life support machine.I would if I could. I just wanted to run away. Jongin POVA week was what the doctor said. I waited by her side, too worried to even sleep a wink or take a leave to the bathroom. Seven days, wasn’t it? But she barely moved for the past month; aside from the pulse displayed on the heart meter, Minyeon did not show any signs of life. It felt like she was just an empty shell, waiting to die and waiting for me to forget about her.“Don’t leave me, Jongin. I’m so—” Minyeon could barely finish her sentence when I heard a deafening screech from the back. I was too agitated to turn around but I did eventually, only to face something I wished I didn’t see. I called out her name once, then the second time with my voice coarser than before. She hung lifelessly on the shattered window screen, dangling at the edge of her life. I wanted to touch her but I was pulled away by a pair of strong arms, only to realize that it was Taemin. That bastard. He should be the one who met with that fate, not Minyeon. I collapsed on the floor, yelling out Minyeon’s name desperately hoping that some miracle might happen. I was in a daze till the surgeon left the operation room with a worrisome frown on his face. The operation was a success, after suffering from two cardiac arrests and a major loss of blood through the surgery. I couldn’t discern how it sounded ‘fine’ like what he assured me of.  Taemin POV37 days was how long it took.I stood outside the hospital ward every day, feeling so uncertain and undeserving to face either of them. The doctors told me about her medical conditions so bluntly as if I was so insignificant to feel belligerent or upset over her current state. As if I was nothing, they broke the news bluntly that Minyeon barely had any chance of surviving and maybe euthanasia was the only way out.  Heartlessly, I was left on the bare corridor by myself, withered against the wall. After living for a year burdened with guilt of leaving someone who I might actually love, the answer to my change wasn’t what I really wanted.  A/N: I'm sorry this is too short. But that's the most I can write for now >< sorry ):