The confrontation (1/1)

Then shall you know the wounds invisible That love’s keen arrows make. Conceited with my own feelings, I cried in Jongin’s arms for another man as if I was screaming “Sympathize me!” or “I cannot forget about him, accept it”. How cruel could I ever be to turn a blind sight towards my lover’s emotions? My sobbing stopped and jealous or not, Jongin wiped the tears off my cheeks.“Taemin had always been like this.” So I wasn’t the first? Then I looked back and reminded myself of him. All I could think of way sex, his body, his warmth and the chaste kisses. I felt so wanton and unfaithful at that instant Jongin’s gaze met mine. He seemed so hurt and yet I was thinking about my memories of making love with another man? If there was a mirror reflection of myself, I might spit at it in disgust and call it a slut.Like a baby, I fell asleep on the seat right after my tears dried up, only to be awakened three hours later. I was lying in Jongin’s bed, the sheets still stained with the blood that I left the other time. The owner however, was nowhere to be seen and somehow I knew where he had been exactly.He didn’t tell me anything but I could figure out that Taemin and Jongin weren’t just acquaintance or foes. They were good friends that probably knew more about each other than themselves. It wasn’t really something that I look forward to though; I bet instead of a welcoming hug, Jongin may swing his fist across Taemin’s face and yell crude profanities at him. “Bastard, son of a bitch, fucker”, I heard it all when he fought with a molester on the train.My intuition was true to my horror. He slammed the door behind him and grunted with high amount of testosterone level gushing through his veins. I stood by the entrance to the room, observing Jongin’s bruises and wounds from a favorable distance. I stared at him in exasperation while he looked away, his body language hinting so clearly that he didn’t want to say anything.But really, say something.“You fought with Taemin?” I walked towards him and reached out to caress the bruise on his cheekbone gently, causing him to wince in pain and brushed my hand away.“He violated you?” I flinched upon hearing his question. As if he was interrogating me, Jongin circled his fingers around both of my wrists and leaned in towards me. “You poured your heart and soul to Taemin, right?”“I’m sorry.” I apologized but Jongin rejected it with a frown. He licked the blood off the wound at the corner of his mouth and sighed.“You foolish girl.” A chaste kiss that meant so much more than love lingered on my lips. It was filled with disappointment and pain. If I could, I would beg for forgiveness but it seemed a little too pathetic. “What are you apologizing for?”I walked away instead, this time without having the thought of forming speech dialogues in my head like a script writer. I didn’t wish to speak, I just wanted him to heal. Going around mindlessly looking for a first aid box in an apartment I had been to only for a couple of times, I heard the heavy footsteps behind me, following as and where I headed to. Then with a grip on my left arm, he turned me around swiftly so that I could face him, this time just inches apart from one another. I took a closer look at the ugly marks on his face and I felt so belligerent. Not only him for his recklessness, but to Taemin who beat him up into a pulp and myself, who was the source of the conflict. I actually thought an apology wasn’t enough.“Do you want to hear it? I swear you don’t want to.” He leaned towards me, lips brushing against my earlobe.“I lose my virginity to him without any forms of violation. I gave myself to him, like a slut.” I finally confessed and waited. No, I wasn’t really waiting for something forgiving to be bestowed towards my mistake, but something less favorable. Maybe a slap across the cheek or violent words that would scar me for life was morally right even though it didn’t sound so. I was silenced by a kiss accompanied with a pang of metallic like liquid in his saliva.“Then I guessed it just kissed it all away. Do you know why I confronted him? Because I knew it wasn’t your fault, he was a sweet talker and everything seemed perfect, didn’t it?” Agreeing to him blindly, I rested my chin on his shoulder and found a sudden sense of fear to let him go. What would I ever be if I were to let Jongin leave my side? Or what if he were to disappear the very next morning just like Taemin?I lifted my chin off and stared at him skeptically, taking my wild imagination into reality. In a split second, I turned away in disdain and muttered or instructed him if you want to call it, that he could leave just like Taemin. Just when I thought my days of suspicion and paranoia were over, basking in Jongin’s love began to feel more like a desire rather than something that I deserved.“I won’t let you go, I promise. I’m not Lee Taemin; I don’t want this to be seen as a bad relationship.” Promise? I gazed into his eyes and saw my own reflection in his sorrowful black pupils. I was sobbing and clutching on to his sleeves in my fists.“No one has ever kept their promises.” Not my best friend, not that old time crush and the worst of all, Lee Taemin who compromised everything I believed in.“I will.” He attached short dry kisses on my lips, I will, was what he repeated whenever he broke the short yet affectionate contact. Jongin then scooped my withering body into his arms and set me down on the couch, casting a large shadow on my frame as he hovered over me. Parting my lips slowly, I mouthed the words to him in silence, feeling so frightened that my voice will tear the both of us apart.I want to meet him.…. …. …..I bet Taemin and Jongin’s relationship now is weirder than ever. Despite hitting each other in the faces with every single consideration of disfiguration, Jongin called him calmly, muttered an apology. Whether it was an imagination or not, I thought I could hear Taemin say “It’s okay” over the phone. Then as a good old friend from high school, he ended the call and told me that he had arranged a meet up with Taemin in a café near a shopping mall.Was it because they were too bipolar, too forgiving or too nonchalant to even care about their feelings? I hummed in consent and brought Jongin to the toilet with me, forcing him to wash up the dried blood on his wound. Now that I had become sound and less emotional, I started lecturing him for getting into a fight for me, which is probably not a really reasonable cause.I started panicking when he started undressing himself in front of me under the broad daylight and changed into a fresh set of clothes. I blushed so hard that Jongin started laughing at my reaction, probably feeling a little skeptical if I was really that innocent girl who committed such indecency with his buddy. Well, at least the atmosphere wasn’t as tense as before.Sauntering down to the café, I held on to Jongin’s hand tightly and snuggled closer to him. Then just on the other side of the window pane, there was a familiar silhouette that appeared just like how he did in my dreams, staring at me like a ghost. His face was pale and he stood up from his seat frozen as we entered the café. There wasn’t a need for self introduction or a welcoming smile; we stood there like blocks until my boyfriend decides to pull me in for a tighter embrace, claiming his possession over me.Then shakily, I brought a hand forward and forced a smile on my lips.“It’s been a long time…how are you?” A/N: So here’s the first part of the sequel. I’m going to get really busy so I’m not really sure when my next update would be. So keep the subscriptions on and another greedy favor :pPlease Upvote if you like!! :DD