Its... (1/1)

Hangeng rolled around in his bed, glancing at his cell phone. 1:20am, it’s been months and he’s still having insomnia problems. The Chinese male kept thinking back on why he’s been having this constant, annoying problem, but he never got the chance to figure out why.His boyfriend told him, “It’s because there’s something you did wrong or didn’t do anything at all.” Siwon’s words rang in his head as he tried to ponder what could be that ‘something’? Hangeng kept flopping around in his bed before he sighed and reached for his phone on the nightstand.His iPhone had an image of him and Siwon together; the Chinese male smiling brightly towards the camera as the Korean kissed his cheek with pursed lips and closed eyes. ‘Such a dork.’ Hangeng thought before clicking his inbox.‘Have you ever looked through old messages?’ Hangeng blinked at the popped up question before scanning through the message names, stopping the screen to one name.‘Kim Yesung (mi amor)’Hangeng smiled at opened the window, looking through their old messages. Siwon didn’t really like the fact that the two shared such a close—perverted—friendship, but it was fun and plus, they were best friends. No one could stop them.Hangeng: ‘Yah! Where are you?!’Yesung: ‘Getting laid by my hand bro!’Hangeng: ‘…Too much info; what time are you free? Let’s go to lunch sometime.’Yesung: ‘What if I’m not free at lunch time? =w=’Hangeng: ‘Aish, just tell me when you’re free.’Yesung: ‘My hands getting jealous, he doesn’t like you.’Hangeng: ‘STOP JACKING OFF WHILE YOU’RE TEXTING!’Yesung: ‘.__. Never said I was.’Hangeng shook his head and kept reading on, his mind clicked on something that both he and Yesung were probably too busy to think about. They never had time for each other anymore.Whenever Hangeng would be free, Yesung would have a meeting. Whenever Yesung wanted some time with his best friend, Hangeng was busy with work. They never thought much about it but it doesn’t matter now does it.When Hangeng reached the last messages of the conversation, his eyes began to tear.Yesung: ‘Hyung….’Hangeng: ‘Yes? What’s wrong?’Yesung: ‘I can’t stay in Korea anymore. I’m moving to the states. My mom is tired of dad and she can’t be alone.’Hangeng: ‘Fuck you. You’re not going!’Yesung: ‘I’m leaving tomorrow.’Hangeng: ‘You can’t!’Yesung: ‘I have to go do something. Bye.’Hangeng locked his phone and placed it back on the night stand before sniffling softly. It’s been two weeks since they spoke. Yesung didn’t call or text. Hangeng didn’t either; he didn’t want to.Why wasn’t he used to the fact that his best friend wasn’t here anymore? Why isn’t he sad? Why hasn’t he cried his heart out yet? Why isn’t he affected?Hangeng turned and clutched his stomach as he thought of some reasons as to why. He looked at his calendar, his eyes sliding every one of the appointments, schedules etc. Then it hit him; he had gotten used to not seeing Yesung to a point—in his own mind—Yesung was still here with him, he’s just too busy.He got up from the bed slowly as he realized Yesung wasn’t here anymore. He’s not here to comfort the Chinese male if he and Siwon had a fight. He’s not there for their birthdays anymore. When they have meetings together either.“He’s not here anymore.” Hangeng whispered causing him to break as the tears fell on their own. He knew how hard it was for Yesung to live here, he wasn’t really wealthy, he had to take care of his mother and younger brother. But still, he had a smile on his face, the smile that Hangeng loved to see every day of his life.His body shook on the bed as he hugged himself, “Don’t leave me.” He whispered.Images of how Yesung and Hangeng would act towards each other came into his head. They always laughed and smiled together. Every touch of each other’s waist was gentle and loving; they were brothers.Hangeng’s mind came back to the last texts they shared. He didn’t believe Yesung. His own selfish wants asked for his friend to stay. What could he do? He didn’t want to go on knowing his best friend wasn’t here anymore.Hangeng got up from his bed, taking the laptop from his desk and walked back onto the bed; turning it on.‘Dear Yesung,I know, this is a little… late. But it’s been months since you left. I just wanted to confess something to you.I hate you. You leave me behind without even considering my feelings? Do you know how hard it is for me? I wake up every day, go to work, eat, sleep, and I repeat. Where’s my daily text? Bitch, do you really expect me to be the first one to text first?I’m… saying goodbye. I know when you left, I wasn’t there. I had work. Have you noticed it, Ye? We both work so hard to a point we can’t make any time for each other anymore. Not even a quick phone call or text. We’re growing up, so this was to be expected, right?I miss you. I really miss you and your laugh. I miss your hugs. I love you, Yesung. I just hope one day, we can share at least 2 minutes together. I’ve accepted the fact you won’t be here with me anymore. But still, for some reason, it doesn’t feel like I’ve accepted anything at all, does it?--Hangeng’Hangeng wiped the tears that escaped his eyes before sending the email to Yesung. He turned off his laptop before laying himself on the bed, curling up under the thick sheets. He’ll answer the email right? He’ll at least read it, right? Hangeng shook his head as he sighed in content, his muscles relaxing as the tears spilled from his eyes.“I miss you…” He whispered before falling into slumber, tears continuing to spill.