ten (1/1)

It has been days. Maybe weeks. Or probably months now. Sehun lay still in his bed reluctantly opening his eyes to a new day. The clock on his wall stated it was 11 in the morning. It was just going to be another day not worth spending, Sehun thought. He moved into a new apartment in Bucheon, attempting to make himself get a new life. He did try. However he was just so demotivated the moment he opened his eyes and as he checked his phone, nothing. No text messages. No missed calls. Nothing. He sat up on his bed with a numbed feeling, not sure what he was planning to do for that day. Maybe he should get a job. Just not a bar attendee anymore, no more. Maybe he should apply for a proper job, but considering his only crappy degree certificate, it was not very promising. Degrees in business huh? Everybody studies that, but he could have led a better life now if only he studied harder. His life was probably a mess, spending his parents’ money thinking that he was still young enough to spend their hard-earned dollars. He relied on his parents a lot, except that he didn’t want to live with them. He didn’t want his parents to find out about his way of living, how he used to bring random girls home every other night, how he never bothered about living… life. As soon as he was done with brushing his teeth, his phone rang. He stared at the screen, an unknown number it was. He pressed answer and placed the phone to his ear, nothing could be heard. “Hello…?” Sehun started. And the person on the line did not say a single word, there was no conversation, only subtle breathings could be heard. Sehun was about to hang up because it might just be a freak who happened to call him or to con him but something kept him from doing so. He wasn’t sure what was it, but he remained there, in silence, with the phone at his ear. After a good long 3 minutes, the person on the line hung up. Sehun felt something was suspicious about the phone call but he just shook it off. Second day, the same unknown number called again. “Who is this?” Sehun sounded a little frustrated in his tone. There was no answer. “Is this some sort of prank? Please stop calling again.” Sehun raised his volume, he was about to click disconnect, but something held him back again. What was it? Why was he hesitant? It wasn’t difficult to hang up a phone call, but Sehun just couldn’t do it.  Third day. Fourth day. Next week. Three months.  Silent phone calls continued for a few months. Sehun got used to it and every time when he picked up the call, he would sit down and listen into the blank. He felt so calmed just by doing that. Ever since his life went downhill, this was the first time he felt that there was something he could look forward to. A silent phone call every 9p.m. Conversing even without the need of speaking verbally, he knew he had done this somewhere some time ago; but through phone calls, he felt a new bond was created gradually over time, a connection was established without words spoken. Over the months, he found a job, as a clerk in a small company. Not a huge job worth bragging but Sehun was satisfied with it. He felt that the silent phone calls kept him going, despite knowing how ridiculous it was, Sehun felt like he had found a new life. Every night as the clock struck nine, he had his phone held in his hand, patiently waiting for the phone call. It did progress, though.From subtle breathings, to flipping pages of the books being read at that very moment, to clinking of teaspoon in a cup of chamomile tea. They were starting to communicate through the little sounds of what they were doing. They would do anything, as long as they kept quiet. It was pleasant for Sehun, he cherished it when he got to hear from the other side. His lips would curl upwards subconsciously, he would let out a breath through his nostrils when he heard the other side was doing the same as himself, coincidentally. Sehun pretty much moved on with his life. Ever since a certain Saturday at 10 o’clock in the morning, he began to hear a faint mellow sound transmitting somewhere near his apartment. At first he found it odd because he had never heard something like this around that area, but it was so beautiful, he would sit at the spot which he could hear it the clearest just to be engulfed into the breathtaking sound. The sound that would make him shut his eyes and let go of everything on his mind at that very moment. The sound that would take his mind on a trip down to memory lane.  The sound of a cello.  He would normally get up at 11 or 12 in the noon on Saturdays, but because of the cello routine every Saturday at 10 o’clock, he actually began to get up earlier and earlier to make sure that he didn’t miss the routine. The spot he sat on was against the wall beside the TV, odd, but it felt like someone was playing it next door. The last time he remembered, it was a middle-aged man living next door. Maybe he picked up a new hobby? Or something he hadn’t done for some time? Sehun didn’t really care, he just wanted to concentrate on the warm and pleasing tune. He wasn’t an expert in music, but this made him felt like as though he had found a new hideout for the emotions he was keeping to himself all this while. Emotions that involved Luhan especially, bits and pieces of Luhan which were kept in a corner of his mind. Along with the emotions in each piece was played, sometimes Sehun smiled, sometimes he teared, sometimes he frowned. He was glad that someone was making him feel better, that someone was providing him an emotional therapy. ♦ As Sehun was about to start his work on his laptop, his phone rang. He glanced at the clock on the ceiling, 8 p.m. It was the familiar unknown number. Sehun picked up the call habitually, although secretly wondering why that person was an hour earlier. He couldn’t ask, though, yet he still listened. Minutes after the silent, it sent Sehun exploding chills down his spine, leaving his mouth wide agaped but words couldn’t be formed. A beautiful tune came from the other side of the line. The person who was on the line, the person who was playing the silent game all this while, all these months, finally decided to let Sehun hear something different than book flippings and pencil scribblings. It left Sehun wondering for a second but he began to hear something familiar. So familiar that he thought he was crazy. The sound which had been healing him, the sound which became his hideout.The sound of a cello.  Sehun dashed out of his apartment door and headed to the next door, with his phone remained at his ear. He banged on the door with his fist vigorously and he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. His heart was racing, seconds felt like years, his face was flushed red. And the cello sound on the line stopped. Sehun waited. And waited. With his heart pounding against his chest he felt like throwing up. The door slowly clicked open as the door knob was turned, Sehun was too eager to see who was behind the door. As the gap of the door entrance widened, Sehun startled. Luhan.Luhan of real flesh and blood, was standing right before him. Just like how they first started, reading each other’s faces at the door. ♦ Sehun’s face remained blank as he was sitting at Luhan’s dining table by the open balcony. He wasn’t sure how he should react, or what he should say. Should he hug Luhan, or should he turn and run. Chamomile tea in a medium porcelain cup with a metal teaspoon rested on it was placed in front of him as Luhan sat down to his right. Neither of them spoke. Sehun was staring into the blank, or the space between the blank and his cup of tea he wasn’t really sure of, as Luhan placed his sight on Sehun’s stiffened face. They’ve missed each other, so much, that words clogged up their throats once again. Silence.The silence they have shared all this while over the phone.The enjoyable silence turned into an awkward one. Luhan bit his lips, he had so much to say, so much to tell Sehun, so badly he wanted to tell Sehun that he missed him dearly. “I’m… I’m sorry.” Luhan lowered his head, prying his sight away from Sehun’s face. He was too sorry for everything he had done. The breakup, the phone call, and his absence. Sehun was snapped back to reality as he heard Luhan’s voice. It had really been a while since he last heard it. He glanced at Luhan, he definitely looked a little healthier now, just… still pale as ever. He was confused, struggling from the inside, he wasn’t sure if he was feeling angry, or he longed for Luhan so terribly much it almost felt like a dream now. “So you knew I live here all this while?” Sounding a little angered, Sehun finally spoke. Of all things he could have said, he chose this. He thought Luhan planned it, he thought Luhan was playing hide and seek with him again. “No. I don’t. I…” Luhan was still in shock by the fact that he was living next to Sehun all these months ever since he moved in. Luhan moved back to Korea because it was even harder to stay in Beijing where his friends and relatives were. What if they found out about Luhan’s condition? It was a close-knitted society in the town Luhan lived in, he didn’t want to bump into people he knew at a hospital entrance or hallway. So he guessed that returning to Korea was a better choice to avoid all the possible troubles. He visited the hospital regularly for follow ups and anti-HIV drugs, his HIV fortunately, was being suppressed and under control. He would be fine most of the times, except for his usual chest aches and headaches, or loss of appetite. He did think about letting go of everything, give up on living and wait for the day to come. He did consider to just screw everything up and die on his own. But he couldn’t. He had to live, at least to make his late parents proud of him before it’s too late. He had to live, because Sehun was still waiting for him. He kept Sehun’s number and he got a new one for himself upon reaching Seoul, making silent calls every single night. Words just got blocked, just how painfully he wanted to tell Sehun he yearned for him. But the moment when Sehun answered “Hello” for the first time, tears were dripping off his chin and he tried so hard to not make a sound, he didn’t want Sehun to hear him. “I… I’ve missed you.” Luhan started to tremble, he was afraid that Sehun might return a different answer to him. Sehun thought he’d gotten over Luhan, with his job and the cello therapy he had every week. Knowing that the source of the cello therapy was Luhan, he felt rather confused yet relieved at once. The longing for Luhan was buried deep in Sehun’s blood chamber, he had been lying to himself all this while that he hadn’t missed Luhan. And now having Luhan right before his eyes, he was somewhat glad, that the answers to his uncertainties are finally coming to surface. Sehun reached out for Luhan’s hand on the table. Cold and sweaty. It stabbed Sehun even deeper that he blamed himself for being such a douche, for not being able to protect Luhan from feeling unwell. “Are you alright? Your hands are freezing!” Sehun immediately rubbed Luhan’s palm to keep him warm. It was June, the hottest month in Seoul. “I’m fine, Sehun. I’m not sick and frail anymore.” He wasn’t completely right, though, however Luhan had to make himself believe that he’s well. Heaving out a sigh, Sehun pulled Luhan onto his lap, buckling his arms around Luhan. Luhan leaned back on Sehun and gently held Sehun’s forearms in front of his torso. Sniffing on the freshly laundered tee shirt, Sehun lips curled because Luhan still smelled the same. Sweet. Refreshing. “Thank you.” Sehun whispered into Luhan’s ear, followed by a peck on the neck. “What?” Little did Luhan know that it was him who helped Sehun through, without both of them knowing that they were definitely brought back together by fate. “Thank you for playing the cello every Saturday morning. If it wasn’t because of your cello, I really don’t know what could have happened to me.” Luhan turned around and placed his gaze on Sehun’s eyes. Mesmerizing. The pair of eyes he hadn’t seen in months. “I’ll play it for you tomorrow, no wait, I’ll play for you every day; to make up everything that I owed you. I’m terribly sorry, Sehun… I’m so sorry for what I have done. It was really stupid of me.” “It’s okay, you’re here now, right? You’re here with me today, and you’ll be here with me tomorrow, and for as long as we can live.” Perhaps it would sound like a payback, that Sehun left Luhan feeling lonely at first, then it became Sehun’s turn to be smacked right in his mind how awful it would feel to be ignored. Sehun didn’t mind already. As long as Luhan was here, it would suffice. It could be a fresh start between the both of them. Or it could be a continuum of their long steamy nights if they wished to. Luhan had a smile plastered on his face when he heard Sehun’s words, but it didn’t last long as soon as his chest ached, again. He stood up to reach for the drawer beside his TV, and there he went popping an unknown pill into his mouth, so habitually as though he had done this a million times. Holding his fist against his chest while letting out whimpers as he stood there stiff as steel with his back hunched, he only wanted to catch a breath. Sehun watched him closely.  I’m not sick and frail anymore.And the room fell back into silence.  [a/n: gahh sorry if this story sucked i'm really bad at writing! lool no worries this is not the end, so please leave your comments if you have any~ i would love to read them! if you like it up till now upvote this story maybe? since this is the 10th chap and i've never written any fics with continuous chapters before.. thanks for reading again and again! ;~;  BTW it's so close to a 100 subscribers omggggggg]