Stuck (1/1)

Ugh. The class I've been dreading all week... Economics. Wanna know why?Because Dongwoon is in this class. I dragged myself to class as slowly as I could.If I had to name the one person who I was least excited to see or who I never want to see again, it would probably be Dongwoon.As I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, the door to the Math building suddenly swung open and hit me in the face, but before I could yell at whoever was stupid enough to swing the door open with that much force, Dongwoon ran up beside me from behind to see if I was okay. Turns out, he'd been walking awkwardly behind me this entire time."Do you want me to take you to the health office?""What am I? Five years old? Don't touch me," I said bitterly.He silently walked beside me to class. I guess he knew how angry I was still.Truthfully..I was only mad at him because I needed someone to direct this anger towards. Being angry towards my own father and his dad didn't really help... I had already disliked my dad, and I didn't really know Dongwoon's dad that well; so, naturally all the anger was directed towards Dongwoon."I'm not going to let it happen. Don't worry." Taecyeon's voice played in my mind.Except there's nothing he can actually do to stop all this from happening. I've gotten over my denial phase. Now, I'm trying to deal with despair.As we reached the classroom, I turned to Dongwoon and finally said something that wasn't snarky or mean, "We need to have a serious talk later, okay?"And all he did was nod.All throughout Econ class, I was unable to focus. Instead, I was putting together a speech that I would later give to Dongwoon.So... you're probably wondering what happened after Dongwoon asked me to marry him, right?Well... I said no... ten more times, fetched Taecyeon and spent the weekend at his house without even planning on it. I didn't want to risk seeing Dongwoon on campus and perhaps hitting him. Hard.****"Taec, I'm so sorry," I began to sob into a pillow as I lay on his bed next to him."For what? You didn't do anything wrong," he cupped my face and swept strands of stray hair out of my face."You do realize that there is absolutely no way out of this, right?" "No," he said calmly, "There's a way to get out of everything.""Realistically though? What are we going to do?"He was silent for a moment, then spoke, "We can run away together."I looked up to see if he was kidding, but he was completely serious.He cleared his throat. "I mean, you'd be the one running away, really... but you're welcome to stay here.""Taec... That's a great idea... except I still have to go to college... and someone has to pay for college... remember?" I sniffled."Right..." he looked completely shot down.As I covered my face with the square-shaped pillow again, I felt him wrap his arms around me, scooping me up into his arms and cradling me. Tucking my knees into my chest, I curled up into a ball and enjoyed the warmth he was providing me."Can't you talk to your dad about it?" he asked.I shook my head. "We have one rule in our household: you never question the word of Mr. Wang."He let out a sigh that warmed the side of my face. I pressed my ear against his chest and listened to his heartbeat the way I always used to when we were together. Oh, how I've missed it."Destiny, huh?" I said softly.He chuckled, "I still believe in it; there has to be a way out.... and I don't want to say this, but.... if you do marry him, you're only in it for the legal part; you're really free to feel however you want to feel. So," he held my hand and laced his fingers between mine, "if you're still willing to love me then, I'll be here."My heart sank, and the water works started back up again. Backing his hand into his sleeve, he wiped the tears away. "Don't cry; we'll still be together, even if it's not the way we imagined it to be.""That's not why I'm crying, though. I know we'll be together... it's just that I was too dumb to not cherish and prolong the time in which we were happiest together, and now I'm dating Chansung..." I sighed, "I'm so stupid." I hit my head against the bedframe."Tiffany!" He rubbed my forehead. "You're crazy. Stop hurting yourself. It's my fault too. I could have come back more often back then--"Before he could say anything else, though, I leaned in and kissed him hard, eyes closed, hands caressing the nape of his neck. In that moment, an indescribable sensation rushed through my body; I knew he felt it too.As I pressed my body against his, urging him to take a hint, he pulled away unwillingly."We can't. We really need to figure out a healthy way to be us," he cleared his throat, "You're still with Chansung, remember?"I nodded then sat up and looked out the window at the snowy landscape, then remembered my date with the gang for waffles and ice cream."Wanna kill some time outside before we go and meet up with them?" I asked innocently.I felt him rest his chin on my shoulder and wriggle his hands in between my arms and waist. "As long as you promise not to get sick.""That's if you don't throw me into the snow again," I giggled remembering the day he finally told me that he liked me.He chuckled and kissed me on the cheek, sliding off the side of the bed, waiting for me to join him."Question: Has Chansung even texted you yet about your birthday?"I bit my lip and shook my head, "Nope.""Yikes..."I nodded again."Whatever; the kid's pretty forgetful. Cut him some slack."All I could do was nod again. Although I didn't expect anyone to remember, I still kind of wished that my own boyfriend would remember my birthday... but I guess not; instead, my ex-boyfriend-- perhaps soulmate-- did. Not such a bad tradeoff, if you ask me.Later, when we met up with the group: Junsu, Junho, Wooyoung, Nichkhun, Bekah, Nana and Nicole, we both explained what had happened earlier. As I expected, they all began bombarding me with questions: What was I going to do now? What about Chansung? Where was Chansung to begin with? Why was Taecyeon at the lunch? Did Dongwoon plan this whole thing?The fact that they were all sitting across the table from Taecyeon and me made all the questioning feel more like an interrogation."Guys, give her a break," Taecyeon said, reading my troubled expression well."Wait... but where is Chansung?" Nana whispered to Junho (too loudly may I add).Junho shrugged, "How should I know?""I thought he was supposed to come and surprise her!" She exclaimed."Nana, you're awful with secrets," Nicole facepalmed.I looked at them all as I shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, "What?""Well... now that Nana's ruined the secret," Khun chimed in, glaring at her before continuing, "he was supposed to show up and do something... I don't know what, he wouldn't tell us, but none of us know where he is."I was suddenly overtaken by concern, "Wait... What if he's in danger or like.. hurt?" I pulled out my phone and speed dialed him."Hello?" He didn't sound like he was in any danger..."Hey," I said sweetly, "What's up?""Nothing much, just..."".... just.. what?""I heard about Dongwoon..."I drew in a short breath, almost a gasp, but not quite."He asked me to stop seeing you..." "Is that why you're not here at my birthday party?" I tried to tease lightheartedly."No.""Then why?""Because you don't need me," a voice spoke behind me.As I turned around, I saw him standing there with a boquet of flowers.I hung up and scrambled to get out of my seat. What else had Dongwoon told him?"But, I'm still going to be here because I need you," He added."Chansung," I didn't know what else to say to him."Here are your flowers," He smiled sweetly, tilting his head sideways as he tousled my hair, "I didn't forget; I was supposed to surprise you, but I just didn't know if I should or shouldn't... seeing that you had someone to make this a great birthday.""You're my boyfriend; why wouldn't you be the one to make this a great birthday?""Because I'm not the one you love," He said.I grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door to have a private conversation that wouldn't be overheard by the others.As we stood out in the cold, I pulled his hood over his head and tugged at the strings. He wrapped his cold hands over mine."It's painfully obvious, you know.""That I love him?"He nodded, "You can't keep fooling yourself.""I'm--""Don't say that you're not. I mean, I know that you like me, but let's face it... your feelings for him are infinitely stronger than they are for me. I'll keep fighting for you, though. Don't think I'm going to give up here. I've been too passive in the past. This time around, I'm going to keep you with me. First, I'm going to crush Dongwoon, then I'm going to figure out how to get you away from Taecyeon.""Chansung, you're so scary," I said sarcastically.He chuckled, "I'm serious, though.""Listen... Chansung," I wanted to tell him about what Taecyeon proposed earlier, "I think I know what I want now... and..."My eyes met his soft gaze told me he already knew what I was going to say."I'm sorry, but I really do love him. And I have to be selfish at some point, right? or else I'd just be perpetuating an impending heartbreak...""So.. what you're trying to say is...""What I'm trying to say is," I drew in a deep breath, "I really really cherish you, and I love that you're always there for me no matter what-- and I love the way you touch me too." I shivered at the thought. "But there's something that's just missing. I don't know what... but I guess that's love for you."He stared at me silently with a slight disappointment-- perhaps anger-- in his eyes, then approached me slowly, backing me up against a wall.I felt every inch of my body pulsing, waiting for him to touch me, but he didn't. "I don't get it," he said, "So you love being with me, but you love... him?""I don't get it either, but I just know. When I'm with him, we don't even have to touch each other to feel like it's supposed to be. Ugh that makes no sense."He chuckled, "So then what?""ugh I don't want to say this, but I have to. Ealier, when Taec and I were at a restaurant, Joy showed up and threw a serious bitch fit because she likes him and he doesn't like her... Then, I asked him what he was going to do about her... seeing that he does care about her as much as I care about you--""I don't think he cares very much about her at all, though, seeing as how he just used her like that to make you jealous," he interjected.I sucked on my lower lip, losing all confidence in what I was going to say. It made sense, though... What Chansung what saying. If she meant to Taec as much as Chansung meant to me, then he would never tell her to get lost if she got in between us... but then again, Taecyeon meant a lot to me as well... Who would I choose if Chansung was to try to pull me away from Taecyeon?"I don't know Channie," I shook my head, "I love him, but sometimes it's just hard for me to resist you."He smiled, and pressed his body against mine as I leaned back into the wall-- there was no more room for me to back up. As if he was reading my mind, he gazed into my eyes with a soft stare and pressed his lips against mine. Ugh how I wanted to wrap myself around him in so many different ways.As he slipped his tongue into my mouth, swirling it in circles around mine and sucking on my lips, I felt my legs turn to jelly. I could have fainted in that moment. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the effect that this boy has on me. I moaned a little too loudly."We can't do this," I said, drawing my face away from his and took a deep breath, regretting every moment that I wasn't kissing him. "Listen... I told Taec that I didn't believe in all that destiny crap, and that my college decisions would be the first step to my decision between the two of you. So... if you could wait two or three days, then..."He nodded; after all, he had a better shot at this than Taecyeon did."If I get accepted into Taec's school... because it's an Ivy, I'm going to go there. But hey, the chances of that are pretty low."As he nodded again, licking his lips then taking my hand to lead the way back into the waffle shop, I pulled him back. Ugh, the sexual frustration that this boy makes me feel...I kissed him. Really really hard and exhaled a warm breath against his cheek as I pulled away. He looked surprised, but in a good way; there was light in his eyes again."Sorry," I looked away, "It gets really hard to control myself around you."He smiled and kissed my forehead before taking me back in."That took you guys long enough!" Nichkhun yelled at us."I thought we were here to celebrate your birthday!" Junho stuck his tongue out."Yeah, Tiffany! What the hell!" Bekah added sarcastically to make the other two sound stupid.I giggled."Sorry, guys," Chansung said, sitting down next to Taecyeon so that I had to choose between the two.I glared at the back of his head.Taecyeon turned around to scan my expression. He raised his eyebrows as if to ask me what had happened, patting the seat next to him.I shook my head as I sat down next to him. "Later." As we went back to his house, later that night, we lay back in his bed and talked about everything-- not just Chansung and Dongwoon-- comfortably, cuddling under his warm blanket."What is your fondest childhood memory?" He asked as I ran my fingers gently over his arm, transitioning the conversation to another topic."Hmm," I had to think about that one for a bit; happiness was a rare occasion throughout my childhood. "Well... there was this one time my family travelled to Japan," I said as I recalled the blossoms the floated down from the trees that surrounded me. "It was probably the most beautiful thing I had ever really seen." I giggled, "wow, how cliched of me. Somehow, I was just really inspired in that moment to captivate and see all the beauty that the world had to offer." I covered my face, "That's so stupid. Ugh. Stop me, please."He chuckled, leaning his head on the palm of his hand. "Keep going.""Well... if you insist," I raised my eyebrows, "There was this other time we went to Korea when I was twelve... and I saw this couple at Namsan, putting their lock up. Wait," I stopped myself, "I don't think this really counts as a fond childhood memory...""Doesn't matter; I like listening to your stories," he smiled and wrapped his arms around me, scootching closer to me."But why? They're so boring. Just like me," I looked at him.Without warning, he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, "You're the most interesting, funniest girl I know."I rolled over towards the other direction to hide my blushing face."What? Tiffany!" He sat up and tried to look at my expression.I turned back around to lay on my back and saw the concern painted all over his face."You're so greasy," I pretended to shiver.He wiggled his eyebrows, "But what I'm saying is true!""Yeah, okay," I looked away."I'm serious!" He said with real sincerity."Okay!" I smiled at him. "Continue what you were saying about the couple at Namsan?"Wow. He remembers what I was actually talking about. That's impressive. I almost forgot what I was talking about."Well... For some time I thought those couple-y things were dumb because they just made me feel like crap about being lonely and what not, but now, as I try to get through this whole relationship thing, I realize that those things are dumb because what happens when you go to Namsan and put a lock up with someone who you think you're in love with, but you're really not? Isn't the lock supposed to represent everlasting love? What happens when you're no longer in love with them?""You cut the lock?" He shrugged.I laughed, "I guess."It couldn't have been for more than five minutes, but the the moment in which we just lay thery and looked at each other felt as if it lasted forever."Your turn," I said, "What's your fondest childhood memory?""Hmm," he looked away and rubbed his chin, "Living in Busan?""What about it?""Oh, everything. The food, the people... Something about it was just so laid back. I miss that.""Tell me a story," I said, closing my eyes and resting my head against his broad chest."When I was little," he began, "I fell in love.""What." I pulled my face away from his chest to glare at him."Not like that, silly," he smiled at me, "But I'm glad you're not falling asleep on me like you usually do."I smiled at him, and went back to the position I was in. "Go on.""I fell in love with the ocean.""St~op," I lightly slapped his chest, "You're so cheesy; I don't know whether I should enjoy it or shiver with awkwardness.""Just enjoy it; it's really the only way I know how to express myself to you."I looked up to see the sincerity."The beach," he continued, "was so clean. I used to go with my sister to pick up seashells and poke at crabs on the beach."I giggled, picturing a five-year-old Taecyeon run around on the beach with a stick, chasing crabs around."I've always wanted to show that beach to someone-- but not just anyone... I don't want them littering all over it and ruining the ambience," he looked down at me, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?""That you want to take me? Pssh of course. I pick up on things like that pretty quickly," I laughed.As did he."Kids, it's two in the morning," Mrs. Ok whispered through a crack in the door, "Go to sleep or quiet down, Jihyen is getting mad.""Ooh. Sorry, Mrs. Ok," I said sweetly, "We'll keep it down.""Thanks," she said with a motherly patience.He swept some strands of hair out of my face and softly ran his fingers over my cheek. As he leaned down to kiss me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and welcomed his soft lips onto mine. This is how I wanted things to be."So we'll go to Busan together one day," I whispered."We'll travel all over the world together," he whispered back, "so that you can continue explore the beauty that the world has to offer," he paused and thought, "and so that I can be there with you to experience those moments and of course to watch you gape at whatever it is."I giggled quietly, "Fair enough."Then I remembered Dongwoon; ugh whatever. He's so irrelevant. Fine, I'll be married to him, but like Taecyeon said, I don't have to love him."Are you tired?" He asked."No." I shook my head."Wanna watch a movie and have a midnight snack?" He asked, grinning at me with those big teeth of his."Of course!" I said as I stole all of the blanket that covered him, wrapping it around me.He shivered and glared at me, "Yah."I stuck my tongue out at him and giggled, "Yah yourself. Be a man, suck it up."As he walked away, I quickly ran up behind him and wrapped the blankets around his torso."Just kidding, babe. Here, don't catch a cold." I said, draping the blankets over his shoulders and leaning against his tall build in the tent like structure I had just created using him as a middle pole.He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me as we made our way downstairs to the kitchen to make some popcorn and start up a movie.*****Dongwoon's piercing stare was all I could see with my periforal vision all throughout class."Class dismissed!" Our teacher exclaimed as we all swept our things into our backpacks, rushing to leave that godforsaken class.As I began regretting telling Dongwoon that we needed to have a talk, I tried to leave class as fast as I could in order to avoid him.Hey, I could have just forgotten, right? I mean, I was so busy paying attention in class that it had just slipped my mind!"Hey," he grabbed my wrist, "We needed to talk, right?""Ah, yeah!" I tried to look like I was suddenly reminded."You're not trying to pretend like you forgot, are you?"I laughed awkwardly, "Of course not!"He fell silent."Oh... um... Listen, about this whole marriage thing... Do you think that there is any way out of it? I mean... you don't really want to be forced to marry me, do you?"He scanned my face with an edge in his eyes, "Not forced, but I do want to.""Ma-rry...me?" I stumbled over my words.He nodded."Dongwoon, will you really be happy being married to someone who doesn't feel the same way back?"He drew in a deep breath, "It'll take time, but we'll make it work.""No," I shook my head, "And that's what you need to understand. I've already found my soulmate. There is absolutely no way for you to change that.""But you cheated on him."I winced, "I know... and I regret it, a lot. I mean, it's super complicated because... ugh, this is too personal for me to tell you.""No, you have to. We might just have to spend the rest of our lives together."I shuddered at the thought, "Alright fine. I just felt so lonely when Taecyeon was so far away. At that time, I thought I was having a falling out with him, but I really wasn't." I covered my face with my hand, "This is so awkward... but I was really horny and lonely. I wanted Chansung because the feeling that I get when he touches me..." I fanned myself, "Damn." I tried to recollect myself, "And anyway, he's always there for me, emotionally too... and although sometimes I get a little confused, I know that he's someone that I want to be friends with forever, but not someone who I want to love forever. Ah, that sounds so backwards, but that's just the way it is.... I have strong feelings for him, but it's kind of just like... a friends with benefits sort of thing... the sexy part is detachable, though..."He looked away and got up, "I thought we would be able to come to some sort of a consensus about getting married, but all this was just for you to talk about how much you don't want to be with me, or how horny Chansung makes you.""Dongwoon, wait," I stopped him, "If you're really listening, you should know.""Know what?""That we're just not supposed to be, and the harder you try to pull me in, the harder I will kick and scream to get away."Now it was his turn to be mad. Without another word, he turned and walked away.I guess that's what you get for breaking the truth to someone... and breaking their heart.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------weee. Another chapter. I wanted to update on Taecyeon's birthday, but I was kind of busy.^____^ I'm sooooo happy that I got so many comments hehehe :) thank you, guys. THIS IS A RECORD FOR # OF COMMENTS FOR A SINGLE UPDATE!!@taeckhun_cess: hahaha Grrrr indeed. :P lol sometimes, I confuse mix up the characters that I create and the real life idols... and glare at pictures of Dongwoon.... lol but he's still super hot! hahaha@Bebella: heh heh heh. hope you had a lovely Christmas too! :)@milli-o: kekeke you'll see, but I think we all know that she won't be falling in love with Dongwoon at any point. ever.@Mzjulieb2uty: SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM!!!!! A:SDFIAHODFAIFAODFHA /keyboard smashing because I'm excited that someone else is so excited about my story. kekeke. I try to be funny, and I'm glad that you laughed at my jokes (b/c usually people just stare at me as if I'm cray)@stinaTOP: THE REKINDLING BEGINS NOW. kkkkkkkk@fyekay918: haha don't give up on Chansung yet! There is more to come :) AHHH I can't say this enough; thank you all for being so supportive and loving and awesome. Seriously, I'm not just saying that. I really really appreciate the fact that you all took the time to write me a message ^__________________^HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR. I'll be updating in 2012!!! :) hehehe<3 <3 <3,

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