I Remember (1/1)

Do you remember that moment? The moment we first Kissed? When we were young, and still had that childish innocence about us, the innocence I miss...On a park bench on a cold autumn night, colourful leaves littered the ground and a light breeze tickled our cheeks. We sat. We were waiting for our parents to take us home. You were freezing. Your usually perfect scarlet red plump lips were shivering and started losing their colour and your usually gentle and warm hands were so cold and rigid as I took them with my own and rubbed them together.I recall your small gasp at my actions, I couldn't help but smile, as you did too, even if you did try to hide it. I remember you being so terrible at acting. We shivered together in the coldness of the autumn night. I turned to you, admiring your angelic features, those long eyelashes and deer-like eyes, your fair skin and tousled brown hair. I slowly raised my hand and touched your cheek with my fingertips and I traced your gentle skin with two fingers till they reached your lips. I stopped right then, like waking up from a trance, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. I didn't know what I was doing. I hesitantly glanced up at you, afraid of what the reflection of your eyes would show. Fear. Disgust. Hurt, maybe even betrayal. I knew you never saw me as anything more than a best friend. Even though we were only young.I panicked, my heart beating madly in my chest, I was so terrified I had ruined everything, but then, I probably couldn't comprehend what everything meant.But you had your eyes closed, and the corners of your lips were lifted slightly, into a small, sweet smile. If I didn't know your expression so well, I'd have thought your face would be erased of any kind of feelings. You were amused at my nervousness. I gulped, Throat suddenly dry. Without thought, I leaned closer. Fingers still in contact with your cold, smooth skin.You enjoyed my touch, as I continued to trace your lips with the pads of my shaking fingers. You whispered my name. I felt the warm breath of your whisper hit my face ever so lightly. Confused by these knew feelings, All I knew at that moment, is that I needed to feel those lips on my own. I couldn't help taste that mouth that softly murmured my name, my heart filled with a sudden desire so strong, it hurt. Daringly, I inched closer.Our lips touched, and for that moment, we were one. The feel of the soft, supple, cold lips on my own. It was unreal. But the kiss wasn't gentle at all, It was filled with longing and desire expressed in its purest form. Innocent. Just our lips pressed deliciously together ,moist and warm, as they heated each other's with the heat of the moment. I held your chin gently with one hand and still firmly gripped your hand tightly with my other. I clasped it, holding onto it, as if it were some kind of key to staying in reality. It was easy to lose myself.I pulled away slowly, afraid to let the moment last longer, I stared at your lips, Feeling some kind of elation deep in my gut and I saw them paint themselves the beautiful red colour again. The feeling of satisfaction and relief were too much of an understatement to describe my feelings at that point.I could sense blood heating up my cheeks again, as I looked up at you to see you the same, you drew back your hand from my grasp, and reached your slender fingers up to the scarf around your neck, pulling it up as if to hide your face in embarrassment. I looked at my hand, suddenly empty. I couldn't help but smile at his gesture, mouth ready to tease him with a childish comment when I heard a voice.Kids, come inside now! It's time to leave, we don't want you catching colds!And just like that, the moment disappeared, As if I woke up from a beautiful dream, back to the reality where that kiss and my feelings for you hurt like an open wound. So cruel. Harsh reality would never harbour those emotions, but leech the newly formed emotions that were freshly born from that kiss. I look to your face, It had a guilty look, like a child that had been just scolded by their parents, and I knew that you were scared by this reality. The redness on your smooth cheeks was still faintly there, and knowing I was the cause of it, was comforting. I forced a grin and took your hand and stood up from the bench.'Come on, let's go inside, we'll freeze to death, they better owe us a delicious meal after having to wait out in the cold like that!'I don't remember what we did after that, what we ate. All I remember now was our silent agreement to pretend nothing happened and that reality caused us to be only what we can be now, Friends, and nothing more. However, I always find that sudden urge to protect you, as if you were my own.But still. I wonder if them small, shy smiles and trembles you show on your face these days are you reminiscing of the happenings of that day. Are they? Am I the only one? Do you remember that kiss? The cold, our hands, my longing and your shyness my lips pressed desperately against yours Because I still feel the same way and always have.Maybe we lost out childish innocence that day, But I can only hope that you keep that moment somewhere, closed within your heart.I dare to still harbour such feelings because, still, I remember.