Ill never let you go (1/1)

You came into my life right after he’s gone.You cared for me like he did; You looked at me like he did; You loved me like he did. Perhaps because of the similarities you two shared, I didn’t see you as Yul but just a substitution of Tae. You confessed to me, I thought Tae came back to me, so I accepted you. But you’re very different from Tae, different from the relationship I once had with him. I can’t help but to compare you to him, expecting things to be the same as last time. Tae knew I’m lazy so he never once offered to bring me out for a date, but you always insisted to."Baby ~ stop sleeping ~ there's this new movie that I heard is nice, we should go watch it!" you said excitedly as you carried me out. Tae knew I hate sweating so he never once forces me to exercise, but you always insisted to.“Baby ~ the weather is so good, it’s perfect for cycling! Come on, let’s go ~~” you whined as you showed your fail ageyo. I wouldn't get jealous when girls crowd around you because you're not Tae. I wouldn't bother to fight with you because you're not Tae. I wouldn't bother to wake up when you called because you're not Tae. But you changed me unknowingly. I wouldn’t have move away from the air-con even if Tae demanded me to, yet I gave in to your cuteness and went out with you. Just when I thought I no longer love Tae, he came back to me. I was so happy that I didn’t bother about you. I went out with him and asked you to go home alone. He hugged me and he confessed, saying he regretted leaving me. I’m confused, I consulted Tiff on what to do.“Jessi, ask yourself. Who’s constantly on your mind? Who do you feel happier with? Who made your heartbeats faster?”The questions she asked, all I could think of is you. I couldn’t wait to meet you for our first year anniversary date, to tell you how much I love you. I waited for you for very long but you didn't appear. I gave you many missed calls, but received no answer. I was angry, I texted you. The moment you walked over and said “Jessica, let’s break up.” I was devastated. All the memories rushed through my mind; I realized how you had always treated me like a princess, no matter what I did to you. You’re the best boyfriend one could ever have, but I didn’t know how to cherish you when you’re around. I'm don't know how to live my life if you leave me. I begged you not to leave but you pushed me away, you told me Tae was better for me. Your pair of eyes when you said it, it’s full of sadness. That’s when I realized I’ve hurt you deeply. You left me with Tae but I only wanted you at the moment. I rejected his offer to send me home and I roamed around the streets, not caring how exhausted or tired I was. I cried whole night. I really can’t live without you, I decided to talk to you the next day in the office. But you're nowhere to be found. I’m late. Our colleagues said you already tendered your resignation early morning. “So now you’re looking for him? Only when he’s gone, you realized he had actually been there the whole time? He's always pretending to happy just so you can be happy too. He’s hurt but he didn’t blame you at all. He just blamed himself for not being good enough for you. He’s such a great guy, yet you got the heart to tear him apart.” Your friend was right. I didn’t care about your feelings, I’m selfish. I only think of my own happiness, I didn’t know that you’re unhappy by the way I treated you.    I used the backup key you gave me to enter your house, but I couldn't find your shadow anywhere. I noticed a few of your favourite clothing were not there and that striked me hard, you’re gone forever, I’m the culprit who forced you to leave. The television showed the weather forecast, I recalled on the jacket you put over my shoulder when it’s freezing cold.“Yul, you gave your jacket to me, how about you? You’re only wearing a sleeveless top yourself.” I took it off in an attempt to return it to you.“I rather I’m the one who’s sick. I couldn’t bear seeing you in pain yet I couldn’t do anything to ease it. I would die if that happens. So baby, wear this jacket properly.” You said as you once again placed it over my shoulder. I walked in your bedroom, full of Mickey Mouse.“Yul, do you like mickey more than me?” I asked.“Yes, of course. I don’t even like you.” I glared at you before giving you a multiple punch on your chest.“Oww- Baby- Ouch” You stopped my beatings and held my hands gently.“I don’t like you, I love you, more than anything else.” You said before giving me a chaste kiss on my lips. I had been recalling our past memories for these few days. It had been three days since you left me; I’m still staying in your apartment. I cried myself to sleep every night; I hugged your pillow in my arms whole day, hoping to smell the sweet scent of yours. Tae came over to comfort me; He hugged me tightly in his arms yet I don’t feel anything. You made me felt safe in your arms; You made me feel warm in your arms; Most importantly, you’re able to make my heartbeats fast in your arms. All of those, I can no longer feel it on Tae. The radio was playing Mistake.It's my mistake for not making you love me more.It's my mistake for loving you more than you love me.It's my mistake for not making you love me as much as I wanted you to. You once told me this is your favourite song because you could relate to the lyrics, but I didn't think much about it, I didn't even bother listening to this song. Now I understand why, like what your friend said, you just kept on blaming yourself for not being able to make me fall in love with you. "I’m sorry for treating you so badly, Yul. Please come back to me. Where are you? I miss you.." I mumbled before I fell asleep at the living room. "Jessica? Sica? Hey, wake up you sleepy head." I felt someone waking me up. I thought it was Tae, but the touch is different, it's the warmth I longed for. I opened up my eyes, I saw the same person who I missed so much, the one who cared for me yet I didn’t bother about his feelings.“Yul!” I jumped onto you and gave you a koala hug.“Hey Hey. Why are you here? And you look thinner now. What happen to you?” you asked worriedly as you put me down. I teared up and started hitting you repeatedly.“Yah! I thought you left me forever. Where did you go?! Why did you not answer my call?! Why did you not message me?!?”“I went to Melbourne to attend my sister’s graduation ceremony. I lost my phone as soon I reached there so I couldn’t answer your calls nor message you. Now, I answered all your questions. Can you stop crying and tell me why are you here? Where’s Tae?”I didn’t answer but captured your lips harshly. You looked shocked, but you didn’t push me away; you responded to the kiss. We kissed passionately and only parted when air was needed. "You still didn't answer my question, why do you look so wreck? Did Tae bully you? I'll help you t-" I cut your words off and said,“Yul, I love you. Tae is just a past; I can’t live without your hugs, kisses and touches. I’m sorry for treating you like his substitution, I know it’s my fault but can you give me a chance? Please don’t push me away again. Seobang, I love you.”  You pulled me in for another passionate kiss before whispering to me,“Thanks for coming back to me. I’ll never let you go again.”"And wifey, I love the petname you gave." You winked at me as we kissed again.