chapter five (1/1)

At 6:34 in the morning, the snow has stopped. With tired eyes and heavy breathing, Taehyung jogged along the waters of the winter sea. It was cold and his mouth has dried up, but he couldn’t care less. He needed this, he deserved all this discomfort.He couldn’t sleep after Wheein walked out of his room. He kept on tossing and turning, but his mind wouldn’t let him. He had too much energy to spend to just be lying around and feel sorry for himself for screwing it up with her.Her face, smiling, was flashing in his mind. Her eyes, twinkling. Her lips. Her kiss. Her breath into his. Her touch. Her every little thing was running in his thoughts.And then her face, her smile turned upside down. Upset, disappointed in him. Her back turned from him, walking away. Her heart visible and heartbroken.She’s taking so much from him, there’s not enough space for him to breathe and think. Taehyung was feeling restless.  He needed to let out some steam. He needed to run.And it was still not good enough. He needed to see her and make it up with her. Taehyung wanted to see that smile turn up again.With one last lap left, Taehyung jogged back to the quiet house. The lull of the heater welcomed him with its low humming. There’s no one in the living room, there’s no one in the kitchen. Wheein must have been still sleeping. He went on and freshened up, doing everything in a fast-paced motion. He’s still feeling restless, he just needed to see Wheein again. There were clutters and soft murmurs in the kitchen once he got downstairs.“I just thought a vacation would help me,” Wheein said over the line, her voice shaking. She was facing the counter, and it looked like she’s making coffee for herself. She’s still dressed in her pajamas from the night before and had her hair tied up in a bun.She was standing there, and it’s taking all his resolve not to go to her and hug her.“Yes, I’ll be more mindful,” she responded.His silent steps took a stop on the wooden floor.“Mom, please no. I need to be staying near the school. It will be hard if I move back with you and dad.”Her voice was sad, and it’s breaking his heart.“I love you. I promise. I’ll tell you everything I do. I won’t lie anymore.”Taehyung wanted to give her comfort, but he also wanted to give her space.“I’ll see you later.” Wheein ended the call and put her phone carefully on the counter.He watched as she poured herself a cup of coffee and failingly so. The hot liquid overflowed, making Wheein let go of the kettle and knock over the cup. Steaming, dark liquid splattered over the counter and everywhere. Wheein held onto the stool in front of her but still fell on the floor.It was too fast that Taehyung was too late coming for her. “Hey,” he softly said, kneeling in front of her and wiping the sputter of coffee on her face and hair.Wheein, he learned, when she’s hurt, would scream and cry or curse. But this time, she’s quiet and just stared ahead. It was as if she’s not feeling anything.Taehyung held onto her and carried her like a feather to the couch in the living room. She did not say or utter anything. She just let him and continued staring into the space. He quickly grabbed a towelette from the downstairs bathroom and slightly wet it with warm water from the sink.And when he came back and saw Wheein tear up in silence, his heart dropped and was broken into pieces.He stood before her and froze. When girls cry, because he didn’t know what to do, he would usually turn a blind eye. But with Wheein, all he wanted was to hug her tight and make everything better, but he couldn’t. Especially after last night, would she be comforted, or would she be more upset? Taehyung did not know what to do.Wheein’s almost silent sob continued to fill the space. She fisted the hem of her top, so hard until her knuckles turned white. It was as if she’s trying to keep her emotions inside, but her tears were just falling and her lips trembling. So much pain and so much emotions, but there’s nothing he could do.Taehyung looked at the piece of cloth in his hands. He brought it thinking of helping Wheein clean the stains of coffee on her skin and hair, but seeing her cry turned him clueless again. What was it in her that made him powerless and stupid? He just wanted to comfort her and protect her.Once he regained his senses, he kneeled in front of her and looked into her face. He then gently dabbed the warm towel on her skin, her arms and face, and her hair. He wished he could do more than this. He wanted to say something to console her, but all he could give her was this, from someone who had done nothing but upset her.Suddenly, Wheein held his hand and took the cloth from him and put it away. She was just looking at him with her doe eyes and not saying anything. With the little of her strength, she tugged at his arms.She wanted him to hug her.Taehyung got up and sat beside her and then draped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her into a hug. Wheein scooted closer to him and hid her face at the crook of his neck. His hold to her tightened, rubbing the side of her arms, just doing anything to make her feel he’s there for her.Wheein continued to silently sob into his chest. One minute, four minutes, she took time receiving comfort from him. When she has finally calmed down, she looked up to him and gave him a sad smile. Her cheeks and eyes have puffed and pinked from the crying, but the twinkle in her eyes told him she’s going to feel better.He tucked the strand of hair that got out of her bun, and with his thumb, he wiped the tears on her cheeks. Looking at her this vulnerable and down, he has never felt wanting to take away someone else’s pain. Wheein deserved all the good things in this world, and Taehyung wanted nothing else but to let her feel that way.“I’m so dirty,” she whispered and ended with a laugh. “I’ll take a bath.” Her voice was raspy from the crying, but her smile was so sweet.Taehyung was suddenly relieved. He gave her a reassuring smile in return.Wheein then let go of Taehyung’s hug and lifted herself from her seat. With limping legs, she walked away from him again, but this time, his heart was at ease. Even though he could never know or understand what she’s really feeling, just the fact that she could find comfort in him, it was enough. In the next hour that Wheein was upstairs, he cleaned up the kitchen and prepared her breakfast. He cooked her a pot of stew she enjoyed the previous night and also fixed her French toast and a cup of coffee. He realized, from yesterday until now, he liked doing this for her. He wanted to please her and pamper her and just make her smile.As he was finishing prepping the dining table, his phone vibrated from the back of his pants. Taehyung fished it from his pocket and saw a couple of messages from Yoongi.yoongi: we were on our way to the beach house just now but your sister wanted to show us this hot spring so we took a detour. will probably be there by lunch time. cook us some foodyoongi: also jimin threw us out of his car because he said he needed to pick wheein up. theyre gonna head to the city asap. good thing ur sister’s van can take all of us.Taehyung clutched the phone in his hand and faced it down. He held his breath and wanted to curse, but he was also reminded that there’s no reason for him to feel any sort of jealousy. He stared at the steaming soup in front of him. He was there for her just an hour ago, but it was still another person she sought when she’s in need. As much as he wanted to shake this unwanted feeling, he couldn’t stop thinking of the possibility that maybe this time, Jimin would win again.“Breakfast?”Taehyung looked up and saw Wheein smiling at him. She’s now dressed to go out and had her purse in her hand. She’s wearing bright red lips in contrast to her soft makeup. Her hair was down in curls.The breath he’s been holding puffed out in a gasp. Wheein looked so beautiful, he knew that, but she’s more beautiful when she’s wearing that charming smile that got him hooked the first moment he saw her.She sat on the chair in front of him and seemed more relaxed. She picked up her cup of coffee and sipped from it, the heat not bothering her at all. “What are you doing? Join me.”Taehyung blew out a tense breath and finally sat down in front of her. It’s frustrating him how he could not express anything he wanted to say to her unless he’s drunk or drugged with fever medicine.“Feeling okay now?” He asked while scooping some soup into her small bowl.“Yes,” she answered in a cheerful tone. Wheein smiled at him sweetly and then looked like she’s going to say something but decided against it. She picked up her spoon and took a sip of the stew he cooked. Then, she gave him a nod of approval. “You’re a really good cook.”Taehyung muttered a soft thanks. Wheein was smiling at him and enjoying his food, but he’s never been confused. Did she just forget what happened the previous night? Was it all just in his head?Wheein, even though she’s more relaxed and bubbly, stayed quiet throughout their meal. She would occasionally spare him a glance and a tiny smile, but he couldn’t do anything to reciprocate. Taehyung could just not read her. She’s okay but then seemed to be contemplating about something.“About earlier,” she started once she has put down her spoon on the table and took one last sip of her coffee. “Mom learned that I came here. My brother must have told her, maybe trying to pass the attention to me after they found out what happened to him. I don’t know, not sure. But yes because of that I need to leave now.”Taehyung nodded.She smiled at him. “Jimin brought his car with him, so I asked him to take me back to the city. He’ll be here in half an hour I think.”He just stared at her, clueless to what he’s supposed to say.Wheein stared back but then shook her head and laughed softly. “I was hoping I wouldn’t need to get you drunk or drugged again for you to talk to me.”He gulped down the lump in his throat. “I just don’t know what to say. If I should ask you questions about what happened, if you need more soup, or if I should say sorry first.”She grinned at him. “I don’t need more soup, though I’d like if you could cook for me again. My mom, she said a few things that had hurt me earlier, but I already cried and you were there, so it hurts less now.” Her smile turned to soft. “What are you sorry for?”“For being an ass.”She laughed. “Yeah, you were.” She paused and just looked at him. “Want to accompany me outside?” Wheein held out her hand to Taehyung.He looked at it and exhaled. He couldn’t believe that after all the intimate moments they already shared, he’s still getting nervous on him holding her hand. He’s a fool in front of her.Taehyung then stood up and went to Wheein’s side. He took her tiny and soft hand into his and took his sweet time looking at it. No