XXI. (1/2)

[A/N: I'm back yo~ possibly long a/n ahead but for now enjoy~]21 > > >Baekhyun wiped the sweat at his brow as he collapsed against his door with a thud. His chest constricted with pain as the side effects came earlier than he anticipated, and he cursed out loud. His vision was blurred, and his head throbbed with dull pain as he stumbled his way into his shared apartment, tripping on carelessly scattered objects.He let out another curse as a shock went through his body and caused him fall against the cold hard wall, hitting his head in the process. He gripped the front of his shirt tightly and let out a frustrated groan.It wasn’t as painful as it was before because he hadn’t used as much force as he usually did, but his sudden use of it after a long period of rest had caused an impact on himself. It was really painful.But it’s bearable, he added in his head, for now.Baekhyun closed his eyes and let his head rest against the wall as his thoughts slowly drowned him once again.He really was stupid—sacrificing his life for someone that would never even love him back. He wouldn’t be able to get her in the end; he knew that. And yet, he couldn’t help but hope.Unrequited love is painful.It always was. It was painful when he loved Soo Jung—he refused to call her Krystal—and it was still painful right now. Baekhyun just hated the fact that he always had to be the pitiful one who would never get his love returned.Is this the price for being good? He asked himself bitterly.He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling blankly, letting his thoughts wander to his conversation with Soo Jung a while ago.

 “You're too uptight. I barely touched a hair on her, and it's not like she's hurt or anything. I simply warned her so I wouldn't have to kill her too.”Baekhyun eyes flashed gold for a moment before reverting back to its usual brown color. “Don't worry about killing her because I'll make sure to kill you first before you can do anything else.”Krystal faked a whimper then scoffed. “I'll be careful. You should too. You wouldn't want to break that vow of ours, would you? I can already see the cracks on your resolution like this table you accidentally gripped too hard.”Baekhyun's jaw visibly tightened but he loosened his grip and turned to leave once again.He looked back at her one last time with gold glowing eyes. “Soo Jung-noona, some people--no, she is worth breaking vows for.”

“Vow of ours, huh?” Baekhyun wondered out loud as the pain slowly passed and his sweat dripped down his face, “Of course she was awake when I said it.”He laughed bitterly. He honestly didn’t know what he was thinking when he made that vow to her. Was it desperation? Was it pity?Well, I obviously wasn’t thinking about what consequences it would bring to me in the future, he thought dryly to himself.He let his thoughts wander back to that daym style="font-family:calibri;font-size:12px;line-height:1.6;">, that cold wintry day.Baekhyun opened the door to Soo Jung’s room cautiously and took a peek at her still, sleeping figure on the mattress. He chuckled seeing her, curled up like a kitten with her blanket barely covering her small body. He took silent steps towards her and draped the blanket softly over her body, and he smiled seeing his good work.He made his way towards a chair and carried it to settle beside her with a loving smile.“Tsk! This irresponsible, girl. She doesn’t even wear the blanket properly,” Baekhyun faked a grumble but ended up smiling instead, “Wear your blanket properly so you can get well soon, Noona. We miss you.”Baekhyun leaned closer to give her a peck on the forehead then proceeded to brush her hair away from her face, only to find her staring at him curiously.“May I ask what you’re trying to do, Byun Baekhyun-dongsaeng?” she asked with a playful smile.The boy immediately pulled away, feeling embarrassed for what he had done but mostly to hide the blush in his face.“I’m telling Luhan-oppa that you were taking advantage of me while I was resting,” she joked while she poked his blushing cheeks.“Yah! Don’t you dare! He’ll kill me!”The girl merely laughed in response to Baekhyun’s whining, and Baekhyun laughed along but quickly stopped when he heard a fit of coughs coming from the girl instead of laughter.“Kwenchana?!” he immediately stood up and patted her back softly, “Stay here. I’ll get you a cup of water—““Don’t—I’m o-okay,” she said in between coughs as she grabbed Baekhyun’s hand, “P-please s-stay.”Baekhyun looked at her worriedly but settled back down on the chair when her fit stopped and she smiled at him.“Are you sure you don’t want water?”“I just choked. I’m okay now; don’t worry,” she smiled at him and drew circles at his palm using her fingers, “Relax.”The worry still didn’t disappear from his eyes, but his brows slowly unknotted, and he breathed out a sigh.“Why do I feel like you’re hiding something from me?”The circles on his palm stopped abruptly, and Baekhyun could suddenly feel the tension in the air rising up.“You are, aren’t you?” his question came more as a statement than a question, and she looked at him guiltily.“I—it’s hard to say, Baekhyun. I honestly haven’t told anyone yet because I don’t know. . . . I don’t want to hurt you guys,” she let out a sob and buried her face in her palms, “And I most definitely don’t want to hurt Luhan. I don’t know what he’d do if he finds out.”Baekhyun’s heart clenched painfully, and he tried his best not to let the pain show in his face. *So in the end, it’s still because of Luhan-hyung, huh. You’re really pitiful, Byun Baekhyun.*“I’m not Luhan. You can tell me.” He encouraged her with a forced smile, trying not to let the underlying meaning in his first statement to show, but what she said next completely wiped the smile off his face.“I’m dying.”“Wha—““This disease—it’s slowly killing me, Baekhyun. I found out a week ago that I had less than a month left, maybe even less than three weeks,” she clung into Baekhyun desperately, “but please, don’t tell Luhan.”Baekhyun couldn’t stop it. He allowed a tear to slip from his eye and bit his lips to stop the sob that was threatening to spill out. He clenched his fists at his sides until his knuckles turned white. *Take a deep breath, Baekhyun. Relax. Don’t be too obvious.*“Baekhyun?”He simply nodded in reply. He still couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes after what she had just said.“I won’t tell anyone,” he managed.“Gomawo.”Baekhyun hid his bitter smile and shook his tears away while clearing his throat.“You should go back to rest. You seem tired. We can talk about this next time. . .”He settled her head on her pillow and pulled the blanket up to her chest. He played with her hair for a bit before finally deciding to meet her eyes.“Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?”A nod was all he needed.Deoneun mangseoriji ma jebal nae simjangeul geodueo ga

Geurae nalkaroulsurok joha dalbit jochado nuneul gameun bam

Na anin dareun namjayeotdamyeon huigeuk anui han gujeorieotdeoramyeon

Neoui geu saranggwa bakkun sangcheo modu taewobeoryeoBaby don’t cry tonight eodumi geochigo namyeon

Baby don’t cry tonight eobseotdeon iri doel geoya

Mulgeopumi doeneun geoseun nega aniya kkeutnae mollaya haetdeon

So baby don’t cry, cry, nae sarangi neol jikil teni (Don’t hesitate another minute; please just take my heart away

Like a bright light that hurts my eyes, the moon shines and forces them close

If it were any other man, if it were just a single line taken from a comedy