Taemins Perspective (1/1)

Chapter 19: As she teaches, I fiddle with her hand, caressing her fingers as she explains the last chapter of Romeo and Juliet; how ironic, the two finally got to spend eternity together, just not the way they wanted to. Love never comes easily; it's so frustrating. Now that Lorelei is living with us, it'll be even more difficult scouring for some personal time with Sora. She smiles innocently at me; she's leaking naiveness. It's not that I don't like it, but I preferred it more when her entire body spelt lust.“Leetaemin-ssi -” She's back to calling me Leetaemin-ssi again. My mind's still stuck on the way she called me 'oppa' only once before. Leetaemin-ssi seems so distant, especially after what we almost did... “Leetaemin-ssi, congratulations on finishing the book! So us tutors had organized a test for Monday on Romeo and Juliet -”“Wait! A test already? It's only been a week of class.” I momentarily stop caressing her fingers, but in return, she traces a circle on my palm.“You're in a crash course. An entire unit for a book is expected to be completed in a week. And don't worry, the test isn't very difficult. There are multiple choice questions and short answer questions, but no essay questions; but we will start covering essay writing next week.” I'm happy that I get to spend so much time with Sora, but want to spend time with her doing nothing, not homework. We can stare into each other's eyes for hours, or if she wants, she can spend hours just resting her head on my shoulder. She's still a child at heart, so maybe I was moving a little too fast last time.Flashback:She tries to hide her laughter, but she sees how upset I was getting and changes her tone. “Aw~ that's cute, Leetaemin-ssi! But I do think you owe Onew-ssi an apology.” I'm dissatisfied with her answer. However, she's not oblivious to it. She rests her head on my shoulders and continues into her explanation. “Leetaemin-ssi, you're a mature male. And sometimes it's just necessary to apologize, especially when you're really good friends. It's not always going to be your fault, but for the sake of a friendship, sometimes you can't both be hardheaded. And I'm sure, if you make your apology, Onew-ssi will also make his apology.” I'm still slightly confused as to why I have to be the first one to mention an apology. But obviously, Sora sees right through me, and offers an answer; does she have telepathic powers? “Well think about it this way; if you make the apologies first, then you'll be proving to everyone that you're a mature male, and capable of handling a problem even more maturely than Onew-ssi. Does that make you feel better?” And oddly it does. I don't want to sound competitive, but her explanation for making an apology offers me a reason as to why I should be doing it; I'll at least get some respect for it. “Now we're happy now! See, if you have any problems in the future, you can always talk to me.”“Do you have any problems you want to talk about?” She's a little taken from the question and gets off my shoulder.“Everything I had to tell you, I told you before.” Her little rant to me about how everyone simply thinks she's a nerd or she's a stuckup bitch flashes back into my mind. But she's capable of romance, I saw it in her eyes. It's probably the matter of finding someone right for herself.“How do you feel about relationships, Sora?”She turns to face me, her head noticeably tilted to one side. “Hm? What do you mean?” It's hard to imagine that minutes ago that she was about to rape me. Noona have an attraction for me don't they? But this noona exudes this air of teenage innocence that's hard to miss. She is a noona, isn't she?“Well, okay. Let's start with this question. Why aren't you in a relationship?” She returns to sitting next to me. She stares long and hard at the wall before answering.“Guys don't take enough time to know me. They think I'm some intelligent, overly-snobby girl with a hot body, but really, like most girls, I'm desperate to be in a relationship. But because I'm desperate, it doesn't mean I don't expectations. There are guys who are intimidated by the fact that I'm smarter than they are; there are guys who only like me because they like my body, but what happened to all the guys who want to know me better.”“What if I told you, I want to know you better?” I was attempting to see that same lustful look she gave me before when I pushed her onto the bed at that moment, but it wasn't there. It was confusion.“She that's what I mean, Taemin-ssi. I start getting a little romantic, and everyone starts thinking that I'm ready for sex. Do I look like a sex toy? That's why I try not to get romantic with anyone. They take it the wrong way. It's not that I don't have a romantic side, or a vulnerable side, it's just that, if I reveal it, everyone starts to think I'm allowing to take advantage of me. What happened to consoling a girl?”But I guess now I know why she's insecure. She's not my noona. She's my dongsaeng. If romance and time is all she needs, I'm willing to give that to her. Maybe it's safe to develop our friendship first, exposing her to all the fluffy, adorable things she's missing in her life. But in November, during such rainy weather, what can we do? And not like I know Canada really well either. Hm... if only it'll get colder, so the rain can turn into snow... While exiting the school, as if God heard my prayers, snow covered the streets like the soft blanket that'll one day cover Sora and I in bed. I mentally giggle like a fangirl, but didn't dare to giggle aloud. I run back into the school, just in time before Sora left. I'm not sure what we'll be doing, but hey, there's snow. We can sit mindlessly, just watching the snow fall in the park, while holding her hands and sipping hot chocolate. Whatever it is Sora, prepare to melt into my arms.