Chapter 1 (1/1)

The rainy day seemed like to much of a cliche at that point. It was nice though, an oddly soothing reflection on what I didn't want to think about. I sort of wanted to go outside and sit at it, just to watch it and be part of it. But I didn't really have to motivation to do anything, so I just sat on my bed and watched it from the partially opened window. A cold shiver ran down my spine and I wrapped the comforter around me tighter, the sights and sounds of that one moment coming around me again.~"I um. . .really like you. Would you wanna go out sometime?"~I had just caught that moment. Him, the person I liked, asking my best friend out. Nothing like a proverbial slap in the face to end the day. Of course, to me it seemed impossible for anyone to like me. And then, the news that he did, coming from one of my most trusted allies. Of course I questioned it at first. But, if what she was saying was true, then why should I? After that, I even more nervous around him than before. He seemed nervous to be around me as well, so I wanted to wait for him to talk to me on his own. It's not like I wanted to pressure him into doing anything.But of course, all my hopes were dashed away in that single instance, when I just so happened to be walking by. And suddenly, it all clicked. The times we were together, it was always with her. He was always watching her, not me. I was too stupid, trapped in my own little world to understand that no one will ever like someone as ugly, loud, annoying, and disgusting as I was. And if this is true, then why should I continue to live and breath on this earth?~It's just that my voice cannot reach. . .I keep rubbing that hand. . .The tears have not fallen yet. . .I think only of you.